Help a beginner?

I’ve been into kinks and bdsm for a long time but I’ve only consumed it through media like movies and fanfics but um how do I go about this in person? I’m single, I’ve only ever been in one relationship and it was abusive so I left, so where do I go? What do I do to like get into the space? Cuz I’m 20 and am not sure if I’m allowed at clubs or bars

Take your time, do your research first, learn the theory of things, the things you are interested in, the safe/mitigated way to do the activities you think you might enjoy, ask lots of questions, learn about the ins and outs/how to recognise the various types of abusive people you might encounter, but above all be patient, do not allow yourself to be sweet talked/rushed into doing anything, try to avoid going mad in the sweet/candy-shop/store otherwise know as sub-frenzy, a state that is very dangerous, as self-preservation, recognising dodgy people and situations, common sense gets swept away by a kind of craziness to just do it, and do it all, right now, with anyone.

I would avoid sound bite, shallow tic toc info, but instead read and watch submissives guide you-tube channel, website, Loving BDSM website/you tube channel, and there are a good number of excellent books out there too, the New Bottoming Book, or the New Topping Book, The Loving Dominant, Screw the Roses Send Me the Thorns to name a few.

Knowledge is power, its the best way to keep yourself safe, as that knowledge allows you to see who is genuine and who isn't, who knows how to do the things they say they can, and safely, with skill.Take the next period, until you are 21 to do all the theory learning you can, that then will serve you well for when you do enter the in-person spaces. I would suggest queer/trans friendly spaces first, as sadly many more cis/het ones are not very safe for queer people.

I am excited for you, you have your whole life ahead of you to explore and learn, I wish I had done so, rather than later in life. Stay safe.

Wait this is awesome yea several doms over the age of forty five have been in my DMs and stuff I do not want that big of an age gap especially since I’m so inexperienced it just felt like they would take advantage of me so I blocked them

Those guys always show up no matter what gender a given identified sub --- identifies with. They gravitate to the "inexperienced" thing. Human nature, I'm afraid.
In my experience , before I "retired" from the game was to reply: "Sorry, I'm going in a different direction"

Kind of like what a hiring boss tells a job applicant that they don't want to hire will say instead of the more brutally honest, "You suck. Get outta here."

The end result is they go away on their own. Not even horn-dogs enjoy wasting time.

These days my Inbox is blissfully empty save for one or two good and platonic dudes because I put at the top of my profile blah in prominent letters: "Not Looking".
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But that's not where you're at so just go with what I started out saying, These not-quite-geezers will pop up like dandelions. Don't be discouraged, be honest and they go away, often with no hard feelings. They're just "casting a line" so to speak. The good ol' "Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained" crap.

Good luck. Do your homework and once you hit 21 you'll be at least somewhat prepared for the experience. The rest comes with... experience!

MM