I don't know what to do and need a bit of advice

Proof is in the pudding, its either irl or online.

As someone who has done things with someone who has not given me his identity, but played with him.... you need to leave him. Everything to me is a red flag. He wants you to trust him to basically give yourself entirely to him, but he "cant" tell you who he is? That is a safety concern. All it makes me think about is all the men, women, and those in between who are in this exact situation of being locked in a house with no bodily autonomy except its not given a BDSM title. The slave title is a cop out in my opinion. I believe he wants your desire to be owned to outweigh the logical side that this sounds abusive as fuck.

@grumpyfrog



"A public figure?" Oh please. Who the fuck does this guy think he is, James Bond? I'm pretty sure Pussy Galore knew James's real identity even while he was casually smacking her around to extract information. This is an obvious cover story designed to both gaslight you and stroke his own ego.





This sounds way too convenient to me. You talked to someone claiming to be his "slave of 20 years" and then they mysteriously die before you get a chance to verify their identity either? How absolutely perfect for him! The greater likelihood is that this person was an accomplice trying to lull you into a false sense of security. They're probably alive and well grooming other women into sex trafficking as we speak. He likely knew how to push all the right buttons to elicit your sympathy. You said that "I know exactly that pain." I suspect he knew that you knew that pain as well -- which is why he weaponized it against you.



He was doing you a favour at this point. Your response should have been, "goodbye and good riddance." You deserve [i}way[/i] better than a scumbag like this.



The fact that he hasn't tried to hide them should be even more of a red flag to you. Ever see the show Breaking Bad? He's taking a page right of The Gus Fring Handbook For Social Camouflage: "hide in plain sight." When he tells you straight up all of the heinous things he wants to do to you and your family, you take him at his word. The instinct to tell yourself, "he wouldn't be this honest about them if they were anything other than standard kink practise" is exactly what he wants you to think.



Oh, this guy is a piece of fucking work! What you're describing is a ransom situation. Do you know what should make the beatings stop? You telling him to stop.. If that isn't the standard he adheres to, then you need to RUN! Now! This man is dangerous and you need to sever all ties as quickly as possible. He doesn't sound to me like a BDSM practitioner at all. When he speaks of his "slaves," I don't think he's speaking of roleplay. I think he's speaking of the business he's likely in: literal sex slavery. Think Jeffrey Epstein or Peter Scully.

I could very well be wrong, but I don't think you can afford to make that assumption.

Everyone does their kink their way and I do not intend to comment on what you like and enjoy and want .. at all. But reading your initial post and subsequent quotes. this guy is a tool. The whole "public figure" bit, true or false, reeks like a poorly maintained Sani Can on a 95-degree summer day.

Dump this fuck. You're an attractive woman and while looks are said to be skin deep, there is no debating that looks are what gets the ball rolling. Bottom line, you can do better.

This is not even about the "public figure" as much as it is about the crap he's pulling on you.

I never did relationships of any sort, but I get the vibe how they work and the ghosting shit?

"One strike and you're out, barf bag!"

Good luck. Most of all, don't rush. You have time. Besides, even the best cheese has to sit around a while and get all moldy before it's Top Shelf cheese!



M

I'm not so sure that's the case. I'm concerned that this may be more than simply an unhealthy BDSM dynamic. There are elements here that could indicate serious coercion or criminal behaviour.

Here are a few facts that concern me:

- @grumpyfrog's last post in this thread was 1 month ago.
- According to her profile, she joined the website on June 26/26 and her profile was last updated on June 26/26 -- the very same day.
- The full extent of her activity on this website is exactly *three* posts: this thread and two comments within it.
- *All* of these comments were posted 1 month ago.

This suggests to me that she joined this website with the sole purpose of posting this thread to ask for help and hasn't been seen or heard from since.

So with all of this in mind, I have an open question for everyone else reading this thread: Can any of you confirm @grumpyfrog's safety and/or relative whereabouts?

Bro this was a bs post.

Now I just need to figure out how to turn off notifications. Oh I see it.

Was it? And how did you come to that conclusion?

You might have misunderstood my intent. I did not mean that she has an abundance of time to figure that jerk out, rather she needs to cut that connection and she is young and should not feel badly that this guy was a waste of skin. There are a lot of mismatches out there, M/F

As for her well being, unless someone in here knows her personally IRL there will never be a way to tell.

Right on, I appreciate the clarification. I totally misread you on that.



Yeah, and that is a deeply disturbing thought to me. I have no way of knowing exactly who that motherfucker was who she was talking to but, if everything she said is true, (and I have no reason to assume it isn't), then I genuinely fear for her safety. What she was describing goes way beyond even the most extreme BDSM dynamics and into some really dark territory. I'd say the best-case scenario is that she was being catfished. But what she said about talking to his former slave of 20 years who later conveniently died set off some major alarm bells for me. If he isn't working alone, it makes me wonder if he's part of a broader network. It's entirely possible that I'm just being paranoid because it all sounds so outlandish, but this stuff does happen in real life -- and, as the saying goes, truth is often stranger than fiction.

Given the explicit threat of extortion against a family member and her sudden disappearance right after posting, this shouldn't just be brushed off as "forum drama." It might be worth flagging this thread directly to the site admins so they can review the account activity and, if appropriate, escalate it or preserve logs.

How about this? What are your personal ethics? What is acceptable for you to do to another person? For me, honesty is hugely important. There can be no trust without honesty. I live a 24/7 TPE relationship, and my Master is a Sadist. He is also, honest. Caring. At the very least protects his property to an amazing extent, and to the expense of his sadistic tendencies when he knows I'm not ready for something. Even when I ask for it.

Balance this against a guy I used to date and hungered for when he left me hanging for months. He teased, cajoled, I knew him, and his family, and he would never let me get close, never let me in. The longer he did this, the more I wanted him. Finally, I realized that this was just how he was and it was never going to get any better. The game was more important to him than honesty. It took me YEARS to get over him, and I did. Whenever the urge came back, I'd remind myself that it would go nowhere.

It might be time for you to take a better look at your own self-worth. This man is a self-described psychopath and a habitual liar. No one deserves that.

I entered into my current contract with fondness for my Master. 25 years later, I'm still here. I love him deeply and my submission keeps getting better. He's still the man he was when I met him, he hasn't changed. He's still patient, and still unbending.

You can do so much better.