Very new. Need some info

Very new. Need some info

Backman3478​(dom male) • Oct 28, 2018

I am very new to the BDSM lifestyle. My last girlfriend and current girlfriend are both subs who like to be tied up but i have no idea where to begin.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Oct 28, 2018

Being new is a great place to be.
There are lots of great books on rope play and YouTube videos .

But your better bet is to look for local events in your area.

Meet others and seek counsel.

Fetlife is how our community stays in touch with events.

But I've been posting mine here.

Rope can be tricky - it can tighten and loosen unless your somewhat skilled.

So best to seek a hands on person to help walk you through

Backman3478​(dom male) • Oct 28, 2018

Thanks for the tip!

MasterBear​(other butch) • Oct 28, 2018

So---
There was an amazing post here on the cage that could help you:


https://thecage.co/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=1005

Re: Very new. Need some info

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 28, 2018

you tittled yourself as Dom??

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 28, 2018

but to start I would recommend knowing your body and where not to use a rope or tied up,
then using cuffs for hands and ankles to avoid any blood circulation problem.
Just google safety shibari or rope bondage, few websites will educate you how to play safely....

Re: Very new. Need some info

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Oct 28, 2018

Cut the man some slack. Last time I checked, "service Top" wasn't a choosable orientation here. Roles can evolve, as well. The only time you should question a role is if planning to play with or mentor that person.

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 28, 2018

but hes not tied up yet

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 28, 2018

ok sorry just thought maybe he made a mistake in his profile...

dollMaker​(dom male) • Oct 28, 2018

I would definitely not use rope alone for bondage as rope bondage carries many risks, not all immediately obvious. The safe option is to use leather wrist and ankle cuffs and maybe use ribbons initially looped through the rings in the cuffs, then maybe move to rope but again used through the rings in the cuffs. Another option is an under bed bondage set (plenty on Ebay) much safer than rope alone.

Don't be tempted to use handcuffs, quality or cheap, as handcuffs are risky, as well as mislaying the key they can hurt, or cause damage because they are thin metal and can cut into the wrist or ankles, whereas a wide leather strap cuff is soft and spreads the load.

Don't do bondage involving the neck, that's very risky.

Sex, with a little kink, or full on kinky sex or BDSM with or without sex is full of risks that are not always obvious, you need to learn before you continue. Take a pause and learn, learning will increase the range of options you have for play, but the main reason to learn is to avoid seriously hurting your current girlfriend and future ones. To be safe in what you do.

There is lots of good information online, on You Tube and in books to get you started, but as well as that information you should go to workshops run by experienced BDSM educators and peer to peer teaching groups and learn how to do this safely.

Please take a pause. I know you might be thinking, nothing bad has happened so far, what is this dude talking about, but believe me BDSM and Kink is very, very dangerous. You have been lucky so far.

As a start read the Loving Dominant by John & Warren, Libby Warren,
also Screw the Roses Send Me the Thorns by Molly Devon and Phillip Miller.
Read the Dominant Guide website http://dominantguide.com/
and the submissives Guide https://submissiveguide.com/

Morgan Thorne's You Tube channel is good for practical demo/teaching information https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwx8uy7nxohWLwnaPocLsyg

Also Evie Lupines You Tube channel is very useful https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHExB-d5s0zBcbsaHEUy91Q

Welcome to the Cage, the world of Kink and I wish you the best on your journey.