Advice for a brand new sub

Advice for a brand new sub

Nikki Lee​(sub female) • Dec 25, 2019

Hi, it's wonderful to meet you all and I'm happy to be a part of this community. So, I am completely new to this and am looking for advice as a new sub. I certainly hope to learn as much as I can and look forward to talking with you.

LaVieEnRose​(sub female)​{Kintsugi} • Dec 25, 2019

Welcome!! I recommend reading forum posts and some of the blogs, there is great information in both of those places.

You’ll probably get bombarded by LOTS of messages from Dom’s, most of them aren’t serious BUT reading their profiles will give you a good idea of what you are or aren’t looking for.

There are great blogs I’ve found one of them being Submissive Guide, there is great information in there.

I’m fairly newish myself so I am not the most knowledgable but I’ll help if I can

Xx

Nikki Lee​(sub female) • Dec 25, 2019

Thanks a lot for the info, Rose. I'm really happy I have people who want to help! Oh, and Merry Christmas!

LaVieEnRose​(sub female)​{Kintsugi} • Dec 25, 2019

There are great people here and most of the want to help, but like any online community there are those that will try and take advantage.

If you ever want to send a message feel free too

Merry Christmas xx

DominusJ​(dom male) • Dec 26, 2019

It's really important that you learn about yourself. What is it you like, what's of interest and where do you picture yourself in this type of creative relationship. Read, learn and research as much as you can.

There is an absolute ton of information out on the internet as well as on this site. As you learn, you'll find things that are truly an interest and a turn on. You'll find some things too that just don't connect with you at all. That's all perfectly normal. Realize that what you read, examples you relate to, connections you make to all the information on forums and blogs are "opinions". There is no true to life steadfast rule book.. that's the beauty of this type of creative connection.

Don't just jump into communication with someone because they're forcing a dynamic and protocol on you. Respect is earned, not just expected.
It's okay to say no and you need to demand the respect in being submissive just as much as a Dom looks for it as well.

Learn as much as you can about your prospective Dom/Master. Yes, for as much as some might disagree, there is a vanilla foundation that is important in every relationship. Likes, dislikes, favorite music, foods, colors, learning about family, work, friends.. etc. seems vanilla but all important in finding a connection you may or may not have with a potential relationship.

Okay.. there's a start.. hope this helps a little.
Wishing you the best in your gowth,
Dominus J

alawey​(sub female)​{(OWNED BY } • Dec 26, 2019

Welcome to the cage.. There are those here that are abit of mother hens, to say ( dragons , wolves, and others ) to new subs. Please if i may say first before jumping into the water . dip your toes in and read, read & read some more ( blogs here and on the web elsewhere also . i would like to say the i also agree there is some great info on Submissive Guide), ask questions . i would say when asking questions of other here try and vet them as much as you can .

Feel to reach out

Alawey

alawey​(sub female)​{(OWNED BY } • Dec 26, 2019

Ohhh just to explain the mother hen isnt ment to be a bad thing . just that they look out and share knowledge for / and to others

Allie Kat​(sub trans woman)​{DarkFox} • Dec 26, 2019

Nice to meet you! I have known i was a submissive for about 15 years and have been active in participating and learning about the lifestyle/psycology for about 10. I would be happy to talk to you whenever i am available ^.^

If that is not how ypu learn, a few people have already suggested the vast ammount of reading available on this site, so if that is more how you learn then you are all set haha

If you are a more hands-on person, then i will jist hope that you meet an intelligent, patient, strong Dom/Domme who is willing and able to show you ^.^

Nikki Lee​(sub female) • Dec 26, 2019

Thanks! I actually started reading the Submissive Guide today and I'm already learning a lot!

LaVieEnRose​(sub female)​{Kintsugi} • Dec 26, 2019

I LOVE that website, I learned sooo much from there and Spices of Lust is another online blog I just discovered and quite like

Xx