C.A.R.P.s and advice for new people

C.A.R.P.s and advice for new people

DrWakko • Jun 28, 2017

C.A.R.P.s are Cyber Action Role Players. You find these people all over the net. They are more interested in having cyber relationships and cyber sex or sexting than having a real life relationship.

Don't get me wrong. I have no problem with LDRs but the difference is that LDRs meet and spend time with each other in real life.

D/s and M/s relationships can in my opinion be done in real life. You can not train someone on the net. You can not train someone in real life if you aren't in a relationship with them either. You can teach or be taught on line and you can also discuss theories and play styles but training is a special act between a Dom and sub.

If you are new please talk with as many people as you can to learn as much as possible. Use the net for its resources and attend munches in your local community to meet real life kinksters and find out about classes and events in your area.

If you are new and someone talks about collaring you within the first few talks run like hell. People who collar like this tend to be predators and more interested in your body and not your mind.

I hope everyone had all the cyber sex and real sex they can handle but please protect yourself and if you think it doesn't feel right then it probably isn't. And always ask questions.

Bunnie • Jun 28, 2017

And the more you talk to people and become informed, the easier it gets to identify said people and move along if that's not what you want. Patience is the key. What's the rush? As usual thank you for your wise words.

Stranger • Jun 29, 2017

I think it's a bit harsh to say ppl who do this tend to be predators and are more interested in your boy not your mind....you don't really have the authority to say that since you don't know all the people who do this....there can be other reasons....it's all up to the individuals ....a new person might find their perfect Dom to be like this....or a Dom might look for a perfect sub and potential slave like this....or maybe some other reason ....who really knows? Also ....I disagree with you saying that you cannot train someone on the net....I think you maybe need to learn how to use the net properly and to its full potential ? Other than that I agree with the rest. keep your mind open

DrWakko • Jun 29, 2017

@Stranger: most people view a collar like a wedding ring. Putting a collar on someone after a day or two gets weird looks just as putting a wedding ring around a finger after 2 dates would get you weird looks. As far as training someone. Unless you are training someone to be with you that is one thing. You how ever can not train someone who is not going to be with you. What you do and what you like might not be what I want and like. Why would you train someone to kneel in a certain situation when I would want someone to kneel in another situation. As I said if you want to have cyber sex or sext that great. If you want to talk shop and debate D/s or M/s practices go for it.

Stranger • Jun 29, 2017

In my culture we do arranged marriages so your point is still invalid to me...and with regards to training ....its bigger than that ....its teaching them discipline and obedience ....the play can be discussed ....but training doesn't have to focus on specific things ....I take training more openingly ....I think your way is very close minded

DrWakko • Jun 29, 2017

When I write I am coming from someone in the USA and not from a culture of arranged marriages. But once again you can not train someone to kneel, nor can you train someone in the day to day of my life. You can not train someone to my needs. What you can do is talk to someone about play, about what being a Dom or a sub means to them, you can talk about theory. You can also set someone up to fail by training them in the way you want. There are hundreds of way to do D/s so if you train someone in your ways that means they risk thinking they are a failure when I have to tell them what they are doing is wrong and they should be doing it another way.

Stranger • Jun 29, 2017

Yeah ....so that's y I said u don't have the authority to give that blanket statement .....and No....you don't set them up because you explain that bdsm is based on individuality ....like I've been preaching .....and smart doms will understand that training or playing with a new slave to them would take time to get his wants coming smoothe and silky ....you're the one who's sounding like you don't care about the subs mind....

DrWakko • Jun 29, 2017

Please point out where I don't care about the subs mind? I recall saying in my last messager "What you can do is talk to someone about play, about what being a Dom or a sub means to them, you can talk about theory."

Stranger • Jun 29, 2017

Play shouldn't start until everything is discussed and both sides are comfortable with what is discussed.....no play is perfect .....so stopping to fix a problem is not uncommon .....both sub and Dom will have to adjust to eachother unless that's not what they want....

Stranger • Jun 29, 2017

You don't have to tell them they are doing something wrong...if they are legit making a mistake .....you ask why are they doing it and fix it ....as a Dom ur wrong to tell a sub theyr doing something wrong if theyr making a mistake unless it's part of the play.