Establishing a Dom /Sub relationship question about on line meeting

Establishing a Dom /Sub relationship question about on line

rtlm​(switch male) • Apr 10, 2020

SO I am not new to the BDSM world, but I am completely inexperienced. That only makes sense because for 2 years or more I have been seeking a dominant female for kinky sex and fun. The woman doesn't have to be a Dom but that always seems to fit the criteria. I have interacted with over a dozen "dominant" women on line, and they all seem to be after one thing - $ even those holding themselves out to be non professional. I have lost some money getting suckered by these crooks - paying for toys in advance or other tricks, and at each time- the Dom never would meet in person or even video chat. I have learned that those asking for $ or things without meeting are most likely scammers, but that has not helped me find a dominant woman for kinky sex.
How can an honest person meet another honest person in this BDSM community without being scammed? Why are Doms first and foremost looking for Tributes and $$ ? Isn't sexual gratification for both people payment enough? Are there genuine dominant women that seek to dominate in the bedroom or for fetish? Help me find my way.

No Body​(dom male) • Apr 10, 2020

Ok first off unless your gay looking for a hook up NO DICK PICKS!. Put a picture up women can see what you look like. Second stop giving away your money. If they want money they are fakes. Get to know someone here before you meet them. Take the time to find out who the are and what they want. Relationships are rare that just meeting someone and it is perfect. Respect them and get respect that is the way to go.

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • Apr 10, 2020

SR is right. Get rid of the nudity.
BDSM is about respect. Don't give money...Talk to someone first. How many more times do people need to be told that communication is paramount!!!
Take your time and hopefully you'll find your someone special

rtlm​(switch male) • Apr 10, 2020

Thanks - OK I have changed my profile pic... now what?

sir james ladies​(sub female){oh yes ple} • Apr 10, 2020

now start to learn read the blogs of some domma's check out forum questions from them when you find one that peeks your interest really read there profile and pay attention to what the say then if and only if they are looking contact them be ready for questions about there life not there preferred sex practices it will then be up to them. they will let you know.

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • Apr 10, 2020

why not have a nosy through the personals..Dominant women seeking submissive men? You never know

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Apr 11, 2020

Can I also suggest you learn from submissive males that are owned or submissives here on site that DO get attention for all the right reasons. Look at their profiles, look at what they are doing and you are not. There are lot threads on site abut what Female Dominants and tops want. Read them, learn from them. Stop looking for a magic e-wand and put the effort in its going to take. Looking, networking and contacting take TIME, EFFORT and SKILL SET. there isn't a magic wand that will magically work for you. If there was I'd gladly use it.

Sure! we Dominas could list of a thousand things you can do BUT you need to help yourself. Eventually it will be just you and her. You wont have help then. Learn about yourself and what you offer to female looking....what makes you different to the other 1,000 of subs that contact her? What makes you special? Wh are you? Are you more than a walking talking penis?

Watch your profile wording. It will take more than one sentence to attract a Domme, that has a whole site to choose from. You need to be proactive, not reactive! Save the reactive for when she orders you.

To be honest I can see why fin are attracted to your profile..the trouble is you need to see it, not be told how to fix it. I know that sounds harsh, I'm sorry if it sounds that way but I am actually trying to help you, so you can help yourself.
Right now everything about your profile is generic and just like every new guy that walks in the revolving doors. Nothing raises any points that create conversation or warrant answer.

Right now your profile reads

About me
50 yr old male - in great shape even for a young man. Looking for kinky fun with a woman in a discreet relationship.

BDSM and me
I am a switch, nearly everything is on the table - very few limits.

that's a start of a profile. That shouldn't be a finish, where is the rest of it?.

Another small hint. I'm guessing your married because you want "discrete" and just "looking for kinky fun" Not judging if are, your a grown up, we all make our beds and lay in them, we all make our own decisions...but think about how that statement makes the women reading it, feel? So she is be your dirty little secret? So she has no value to you, other than a good time? I doubt you meant it that way but I'm a Domme and know hundreds of others and I'm yet to met one of us Dominas, that has NO self worth and wants to thought of that way.

badmonkey​(sub male) • Apr 12, 2020

Pretty much everything everyone else has said, show a bit of personality..I’m sure you have one.

And if you are married just say it, that way at least who ever you approach will be able to make an informed decision on what they want to do.

Pirate Queen • Apr 12, 2020

Talk about your other interests, who you are and why you want to serve. What do you need from the relationship and why can’t you get that from your marriage. This will give a potential Domme some insight, if you would be a good match with what she would need from you.
Women need to know more upfront than a lot of men seem to. This would inspire more trust and would attract more serious-minded Dommes.
Good luck!

heartbrokengirl​(sub female) • Apr 13, 2020

I agree with what was said earlier. You don't need to send nudes, buy things, or send money! Get to know the person and their interests in BDSM and casual things first. Be open and talk about what you want, what you are looking for. Make sure they fit your desires and don't try to change yourself or force yourself to do things to fit the image of what they are looking for. I'm not saying not to explore but just make sure it is what you both want.
Just because your a sub doesn't mean you have to give a piece of yourself to anyone who asks for it, find the right fit and go from there.