Red flags

Red flags

NaughtyEm​(sub female){Under cons} • Jul 25, 2020

Hi there,

I still class myself as a Newbie but also wanted to warn the next Newbies, so that they don’t go through what I went through.

We’d chatted for a couple of days and then decided to move to what’s app, this is where my first red flag should have been flagged but it didn’t. We then spent a couple of days chatting and said that we would get married, I would be his VP of his company and he then decided when I hadn’t messaged him back to say that if I was with him that he would have beaten me till I was unconscious and that then raised the flag but I hadn’t had anything bad off him till he says that he wanted to have kids with me and that they would be in the lifestyle and that he would ask our sons to have sex with me whenever he (the Dom) wanted.

And that my daughters would suffer the same fate. And yet no red flags came up here. He then said that because I was his, that I had to give him some money to pay for his car.

This is when the flags went up.
Thankfully I asked a couple of people on chat and someone who was willing to train me up initially about what I should do. I blocked him both on what’s app and on here

This has shaken me quite a bit, I’m not sure I will totally trust someone again like I did especially not as quickly as I did.

Just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure your senses are heightened initially especially if your new.

I didn’t give him much info, pictures or house address like he’d asked, so lucky in that sense but I’m still scared that he could contact me again probably demanding things.

Sammy45​(sub female) • Jul 26, 2020

My advice is pace yourself with chat

Don’t rush
Don’t jump in
Chat
Explore
Have conversations
Find commonalities
Be mindful about sharing pics and or videos
Don’t jump into tasking etc

Don’t get sucked into the concept you should be compliant and obedient to every Dominant that knocks on your inbox that’s not what true submission is about

A good Dominant will want you to feel comfortable

Listen to your gut if you see red flags and feel red flags don’t ignore them

Voice the concerns and any good Dominant will talk you through your concerns

Have your own limits and boundaries around chat and don’t feel pressured to move them

Read blogs and explore good lifestyle websites - educate yourself

Talk to other subs , people within this community tend to be open It’s amazing what you can learn

As with anyone online interactions just be aware there are good , the bad and ugly


Sx

Orgazmo​(dom male){serenity m} • Jul 26, 2020

Very good advice Sammy

But I will add that not everything someone on this site says about someone else is true, consider motivations and wether they have your best interest and happiness in mind when advising you.

Only trust in trustworthy sources.

O

in fundo maris​(sub female) • Jul 26, 2020

Oof ... Even if everything is strictly true it might be spun to sound better or worse than reality.

Aquarius Dom​(dom male) • Jul 26, 2020

What a despicable thing to do but well done Em for telling your story , I heard a similar one yesterday of another sub being gaslighted
They are out there folks the bad mad evil doms , Sammy is right in everything she says with care you can avoid them , Red flags are called red flags for a reason they are trying to tell you to run !
Do not ignore them ......ever ! If it sounds or feels wrong it probably is !
Listen to your brain not your heart or genitalia!
Stay safe folks

Re: Red flags

DeviousMaster​(dom male) • Jul 26, 2020

Apparently no one saw it, so far, or no one wanted to comment on it. I will.



So, you have chatted with someone for couple of days then decided to go forward, going on whatsupp, but no red flag there...might happen, being desperate, naive, vulnerable and going with the flow.
Then, you have chatted for other couple of days, some weird mariage proposal combined with some shitty beating but you hadn’t had anything bad off him until he said that he wants to have kids with you and they will be involved into lifestyle, into fucking with each other, with you and him I guess(fucking sick), which only botherd you for a bit, BUT NO FUCKING RED FLAG THERE, YET, ONLY UNTIL HE MENTIONED MONEY, THEN IS WHEN THE TSUNAMI CAME, THE DISASTER, FLAGS,NOT JUST A RED FLAG. right......

I do have some very mixed feelings at the moment...He is, indeed, a sick person, not sure if cunt, but sick, I guess, but I am also 'concerned' about yourself, on your future and others, if you don't contemplate very deep into you just wrote there, regarding on what you might accept and not....and this is not something and has nothing to do with the word NEWBIE.

I am a Master who will always demand money for either online or live sessions with My slaves/slaves, no metter what, and who will accept this and wants this, fine, who dosesn't, still fine, specially when everything is upfront and no manipulation going on or anyone being forced in any way, and even more specially when the slave says that "Master, I will do anything for You, I want to obey, I want to be owned", and I warn them that EVERYTHING is a very powerful word.(they say they know that, I demand money or putting the word money into disscution and tell them who I am,and all of the sudden I become fake for them...)
I know money are the most important thing at the moment for everyone, everything is about money in this reality and I will never destroy the life of anyone, even if someone's fetish is to go all in, to be ruined( and they are a lot out there), I simply can't , but there is no tragedy to say who you are and what you want, I might either get rejected or accepted...a tragedy is when some slaves will say that they will do anything, and they will(I have heard with My ears what's on their mind and seen with My eyes), kids, animals, blood and some other disgusting things, APART FROM MONEY.

Sasa​(dom female) • Jul 26, 2020

@deviousMaster
If it's your job and you are pro you get money. I'm sure you have your reputations. I know some more, even though it's not what I like, why not.

@NewbieEm please read again what you wrote. He's of course ill, but I'm really astonished and don't know what to think. Hope it's a missunderstanding.

LadySusweca​(dom trans woman) • Jul 26, 2020

I would look again at what you wrote and ask yourself how some things didn't bring up a red flag. Please don't be hurt by this but were you willing to jump into a relationship because you are lonely? It is an easy mistake to make for Dominants and submissives. We think the attention we get is love. I have done it before and will probably do it again.

If he brings up incest and minors, that's a giant red flag for me. That would be a huge violation of SSC. I personally believe the C is probably the most important since it means that there needs to be consent by all people involved. Children are not capable of consent.

Re: Red flags

DopplerEcho{PeRvErT} • Jul 26, 2020

Wait. Wut? Enhance.

"I am a Master who will always demand money for either online or live sessions with My slaves/slaves, no metter what, "

Yeah. That's what I thought you said.

You spelled sex worker wrong.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 26, 2020

Red Flag??? Walk away... Take a look back. Measure them and weigh what you see.

No such thing as "Too Careful".

If they're worth more than their weight in horseshit you can always go back.