Gossip, BDSM, and YOU... Part 1

Gossip, BDSM, and YOU... Part 1

lifedomhere​(dom male) • Jul 24, 2021

Chances are if you're one who likes to Gossip, this post won't rub you the right way. Which means, you should keep reading. And, I'm surprised this topic isn't discussed more considered we are all part of a community that is built on privacy. After several recent conversations on this topic, I thought I'd write about it.

Since I've been on Cage, I've had a few people attempt to message me about some one else's business. Those conversations didn't end well for the messengers. I have no tolerance for gossipers. And I'm sure most of us know this site has plenty of people who gossip or try to tell others not to talk to certain people. They'll go as far as telling other people not comment on certain blogs. Here's what I've come to learn about gossipers...

Typically, gossipers are not happy people. As a youth in church, years ago, I saw lots of gossip--particularly about other folks wives and husbands. I asked one of the teachers, "why do people talk about other people and their relationships?" She responded, "when people aren't happy with their own lives, they worry about other people" Today, it all makes sense.

Throughout the BDSM culture, there are lots of folks trying to find their way. Some are exploring or experimenting, and others are looking for something to cover their wounds, while others have found what they sought. We all have different reasons that drive us on our journey. However, with so many dynamics, it's easy to place healing on the backburner.

And yes, I believe that a person who gossips is a person who is either hurting or needs more work... as we all do in some area. The same goes for those who listen to that gossip. Which brings me to the focal point of this post...

I believe that as we heal, our vibrations elevate at the soul level. When our souls are performing at a higher level, we attract better people for us. There are a lot of people desiring subs, slaves, or Doms or Masters who spend lots of time entertaining gossip or worrying about the affairs of others. To that I'd say, it's easier to speak well of someone than it is to speak bad about them. And speaking bad about someone only attracts negative energy to you.

I've come across a few subs and Doms who are just flat-out mean. And I could gossip certain details about them to make things very uncomfortable in their lives. But what will that bring me in return? Whether it's a Dom or sub, how do I benefit from speaking on another person's business? Especially if those people don't give two cents about me.

Outside of this website, called theCage, I've accomplished a lot for myself. I can truly say that I am happy with my life. And I credit a mindset of gratitude as my secret. Every soul I've encountered on this site has in some way taught me something. And I am thankful for every experience--even if it hurt. And if you're a gossiper, here's why gratitude is important...

There are so many people on this site who are not happy with their lives. To those people who gossip, I'd say, rather than allowing the negative energy of gossip to follow you, it is possible to change your world by being thankful. If a sub or Dom is not interested in you, be thankful that someone out there is. If someone hurt you, be thankful that you are wiser now. Instead of gossiping, I challenge us all to find the light in every situation rather than succumbing to the darkness.

The key to remember is that this world has a lot of good things in store for you. Don't let social media and the evening news make you believe the world is full of doom and gloom. Don't let gossip or someone else's negative energy cheat you out of the treasures this life has for you--like your Dom or sub. Because you're going to run out of time.

You will look up one day, and wish you spent more time worrying about your own happiness than worrying about strangers who don't care that you exist. YOU MATTER! 💗 (I'll post part two on my blog in the near future) Oh, I almost forgot to ask... how do you respond to gossip? Or, what advice can you share for people who want to stop gossiping?

dollMaker​(dom male) • Jul 24, 2021

Where does sharing safety information end and gossiping begin. In what you say above, for you, both are gossip, or at least that is how I am reading the vibe of what you are saying.

I can name some of the malicious gossipers on this site, and those who need to be the centre of attention, and that is their way of doing it by being the hub of all things. However there are people who pass solid, evidential based info along regarding the bad, poor experiences they have had in order to try and keep others safe. I think, feel that doing that is perfectly ok, and one of the ways the community can keep safer, because without that avenue of information sharing, communication predators and abusers get away with hurting people, again and again.

Your writing above could be interpreted as trying to shut this down, by labelling it as gossip. Is that your feelings on the matter?

Excellent point

lifedomhere​(dom male) • Jul 24, 2021

Thanks for sharing your input. I’m speaking on gossip in the negative sense. Sharing helpful information or information to alert others is not the same as gossip. At least from my perspective.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Jul 24, 2021

Your clarification is welcomed.

Re: Excellent point

lifedomhere​(dom male) • Jul 24, 2021

"However there are people who pass solid, evidential based info along regarding the bad, poor experiences they have had in order to try and keep others safe." That's very well stated. I like that. Though that is not what I equate to gossip according to the definition of the term "gossip". What you've share is about about building a better community. Thank you for sharing that

WhatamIfightingfor​(dom male){CurvyB} • Jul 25, 2021

i would not think it gossip to pass on, hey that person is having a bad day, give them a break, if the need arises. Then there is tearing people down behind their back, that never ends well.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 25, 2021

Wolf man Dude..

No disrespect but can you distill that original post down to the more salient points, and expand in dribs and drabs an later doses?

I saw the thread header and was interested, but "walls of text" cause my eyes to cross more than they already are, I broke off and as a result I can't comment on the subject matter....

(Yes friends and foes, I am what they call "mildly crosseyed"-- )

Nothing personal and again no harm intended --- this can be a general FYI-- Posts worthy of Tolstoy can motivate a set level of folks to dial out and move on-- thus depriving you of valued input/contribtions and deptiving the would-be contributor who has an understandable aversian to posts one might expect from verbose writers ---- of the opportunity to pitch in their wooden nickels.

As always, if what i just said frosts your ass, feel free to PM me. I answer everyone, whether they walk on 2 legs or 4.

Have a Sunny Day.

lifedomhere​(dom male) • Jul 25, 2021

I'm not quite sure why comment would bother me. You're sharing feedback. I value that. You make some great points. And thank you. I'll ponder on how I might repost this on my blog in a more readable way.

Thank you!

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 25, 2021

Thanks.. I hesitated to render my critique.. I actually put that because there are a number of "Fine Folks" onsite --who spill everything and anything onto a thread, except maybe the Porcelain Throne---- (just to be different) ---and not realize that topics of great import need be introduced gradually.

Part 1, huh?

Can't wait to burn my eyes on Part 2.

I believe this to be a valuable post here, and i do wish to thoroughly understand the meaning before I go flying off with my (by now some find legendary) big mouth-- albeit digital in delivery.

M

Cressida Clytie​(masochist female){Taken} • Jul 26, 2021

These are my opinions about this:

Telling someone's experience about someone - if someone is vetting for someone, let's say a sub vetting for a Dom. If the sub PERSONALLY asked me about my experience about a certain Dom, I will be honest but I will only share the "experience" not how I felt about it. BUT, if the sub isn't asking me personally then technically it's none of my business.


Telling someone to not support someone's post- seriously? Is this a thing? This is just pathetic to be honest. So grade school.