In trouble

In trouble

tbabyy • Dec 11, 2021

Hi, I need advice on how to get in a little bit of trouble with a soft dom???

House Talion​(dom male) • Dec 11, 2021

Shove your ass in his face n a feather duster in his hand

No Body​(dom male) • Dec 11, 2021

The word no used often enough will get on a Dom's nerves enough tp make the soft go hard. Or when given an order act like you did not hear or care about it.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Dec 11, 2021

Sit down with your dom and talk to them, communicate about the issues, and find a resolution to the lack. Playing games and trying to provoke a reaction is not the way to do this. Frank honest upfront, but respectful talk is the only way to resolve this.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Dec 11, 2021

tbabyy
In trouble

"Hi, I need advice on how to get in a little bit of trouble with a soft dom???"
...

So you want to know how to top from the bottom.

Which is the blatant manipulation of another person to get that person to do what you want regardless of whether or not it is what they feel or want in the situation?

...

If this is an actual relationship, break up with him and explain that he is not strong enough to dominate you as you desire to be dominated. Explain that the situation is bringing out behaviors in you such as topping from the bottom that show a real lack of integrity and are greatly frowned upon in this lifestyle.

And ignore those who played along with your question and made suggestions, they are as clueless as you are.

If it's just play, then you are asking how to manipulate a soft TOP into giving you what you want. Ask him because it is just playing a game anyways and he may not care that you are trying to control him.

And stop watching fictional movies about kink that perpetuate the myth that manipulation is somehow OK. (movie title removed I'll not feed into lazy research)

H*

Miki​(masochist female) • Dec 11, 2021

Took the words right out of my mouth--- I'd almost say you been reading too many of my posts but of course I don't have a monopoly on being blunt as fuck.

_________________________________________________________________________

As for the question, can't really help there. I think everything's been covered.

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@Subtlehush... Good grief! You get up on the wrong side of the bed or something? Someone swap sand paper on the bathroom spool??

And... making suppositions and "speaking for the lifestyle" are hardly what I usually see from you. I think.,..

For one thing, a member, especially someone new to this site and this kink shit-- ought not be made to fear asking a question so long as it isn't deliberately controversial And another--- "topping from the bottom" is hardly rare.

Of course you are free to express your opinions, but be sure to add that caustic replies such as the one you posted above is "IMO"

And it should go without saying but sometimes one has to spell it out: None in here or anywhere else for that matter are entitled to speak for everyone in "the lifestyle".

Better still, anyone who doesn't like an O P's question anywhere is likewise free to move on to another topic on the forum...

The old adage applies "It's better to be silent and..."

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Dec 11, 2021

SH, Do you recall the defense of brattiness from a couple of other threads? Do you recall the heated declarations of how NO ONE just decides/elects to be a brat, but that it's just an uncontrollable reaction to childhood abuse? I even recall something along the lines of: "there is no brat school that we attend to learn our behavior". Yes, there IS a "brat school". There's a class in session right here. 😑

Yet we see how quickly a few jumped in with encouragement and how readily some seem to accept this as being cute and playful rather than seeing it as a harbinger of the very dysfunction you so adeptly summed up (once again). I'll never grasp why so few are unable to differentiate and appreciate that there's fine line between being playful and being willfully and KNOWINGLY irritating. I admire your continuing efforts to bring some useful advice to the tables here, though.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Dec 11, 2021

Miki​(masochist female)

@Subtlehush... Good grief! You get up on the wrong side of the bed or something? Someone swap sand paper on the bathroom spool??
And... making suppositions and "speaking for the lifestyle" are hardly what I usually see from you. I think.,..

(On the contrary Miki, you see me address lifestyle policies and safety all the time and in the lifestyle, there are expectations and generally accepted rules that anyone can speak to and represent. Topping from the bottom is one such rule. As you have made it repeatedly clear that you do not engage in lifestyle relationships but rather just play arrangements, why would you care if I speak of or for the lifestyle? I don't judge your preference to approach everything as in-the-moment fun. Kindly do not judge my preference to display a strong and well-known policy as it relates to those relationships.)
...
"For one thing, a member, especially someone new to this site and this kink shit-- "(Only kink shit to YOU Miki. As I have often said, it is not kink shit to many of us. It is real and important and comes with a fair bit of risk.)

"ought not to be made to fear asking a question so long as it isn't deliberately controversial And another--- "topping from the bottom" is hardly rare."

(Hardly rare but always frowned upon, because it is manipulation. I'd rather be a hardass than have this person who did not say they were new go on and get into a situation that they are not ready for. Then as I KEEP saying if it is play then go play. However, the more serious members of this site are allowed their opinion as well. In other words, you don't get to make us feel bad for responding.)
...
"Of course, you are free to express your opinions, but be sure to add that caustic replies such as the one you posted above is "IMO"
(Right because that makes it all ok. It isn't just, in my opinion, it is in my experience, and if people cannot extrapolate that from every post every person makes here, shame on them.)
...
"And it should go without saying but sometimes one has to spell it out: None in here or anywhere else for that matter are entitled to speak for everyone in "the lifestyle". (Nothing goes without saying. And you are not the post police. )
...
"Better still, anyone who doesn't like an O P's question anywhere is likewise free to move on to another topic on the forum...
The old adage applies "It's better to be silent and..."

(So now you are telling others they should go elsewhere with their opinions because you don't agree with the delivery? LOL Miki, just because you won't go deep into this realm doesn't mean there is no depth here. I'm never going to encourage others to take the shallow end and possibly create an unethical or even dangerous (in some cases) situation for themselves.)
...
(If this is just a game to you and others, fine. I said in my post play is play, but if this is something more it's the new people who need to know what dark alleys to avoid. And you not approving couldn't mean less to me. You are also free to take your reading elsewhere or ignore anyone whose responses don't match your high standard regarding "kink shit" which by the way, is a really offensive dismissal of BDSM but not one that surprises me coming from you.)

H

Lady Char​(sub female) • Dec 11, 2021

Well this escalated quickly. And I think that stems, SubtleHush, from your interpretation of the post as looking for ways to manipulate and not asking for ways to be playful. It's a brief post and the person hasn't come back to clarify, so I think that's understandable. I don't think calling anyone clueless is going to be particularly helpful though.

Sasa​(dom female) • Dec 11, 2021

https://thecage.co/profile/139912

Is it worth to answer when you are not even able to have a profile and here since today?
No, of course not - but the post is a pretty good clickbait, lol