New Year's countdown of Dom red flags

New Year's countdown of Dom red flags

shahh • Dec 29, 2021

Is it your new year's resolution to find yourself a new Dominant? Go for it... But first ... Let's count down together some massive Red Flags that will (or should) send you running in the opposite direction:

Let's go for a Top 20 countdown list:

20. The 'Dom' can't even control their Forum responses and often completely goes off on incoherent tangents unrelated to the topic at hand. If He (or She) can't control their emotions on an open forum, you can be assured they'll have very little control with their emotions around you. #safetyissues

Anyone have a 19...?

Brooklyn Not Looking • Dec 29, 2021

19. The dom can't answer a question thoughtfully to arouse your mind. They will answer simply or ask you what you think and then say that's their answer as well. No one needs a parrot.

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} • Dec 29, 2021

Ohhhh this will be fun!!!! To go on another side of 19...

18. When the 'Dom' is AMAZING at "written words", but when you actually talk with them, they are nothing like what they write. Unless you want an "author" who only writes fiction and you're only looking for written fantasy? Be sure to high tail out at the first sign you realize he's nothing like his written words. He may be good with his fingers, but clearly that's just on a keyboard. And if his spoken words are nothing like his written ones, what does that say about his mouth??? 🤣😂🤣

bigandsmall​(sub female) • Dec 29, 2021

17. When asked what his version of a Dom is to him, or what he expects of his submissive, he only replies to serve his every need. When asked specifics he says things like, you know, service me whenever I want, or he says, things like, i'm open to try some things. He never answers a direct question, asks what you like to do or what your kinks are after hello, and claims he is in a vanilla relationship but has had these urges that his wife or partner wont do, and she can never find out about it. wont give you his number, only calls you when he wants head, wants to meet in his car or at your place for the first time, cause he doesn't want to run into anyone he may know. Has so many flags blowing you'd swear you were standing in front of the United Nations building.

Miki​(masochist female) • Dec 29, 2021

I'll interrupt regular programming as only a sexual masochist, not a sub per se (disclaimer)

-- to remind everyone that doms aren't the only ones who fuck up dynamics or are barf-bags..

--------------------------------------------------

While this is a fun looking game, all should remember this in the name of fairness.

My Dear{Trust} • Dec 29, 2021

I dont think anyone has forgotten that, but hey... thanks for the reminder.

My Dear{Trust} • Dec 29, 2021

Back to the fun ..

16. When he's been around for years, likes to blog, but has no history in bloglandia. (That one is a red flag to me for anyone.)

We all make mistakes, bad choices, or just questionable choices; but, if those past blogs related to past loves are all deleted or hidden away that tells me several things:
●He/She wants to appear with a blank slate
●He/She is afraid a future possibility (you) will vet via those blogs mentioning/describing/referring to prior partners
●He/She didn't value that prior person enough to let words that were true (?) when posted remain.
●He/She is afraid future possibilities will see their dynamic is simply a recycled repeat from their past, and that it is not that 'unique' and 'individual experience' they wish it were.
●He/She is afraid that future possibilities will see that the D-type cycles through 3, 4, 12 or more s-types in a year.
Etc...

My Dear{Trust} • Dec 29, 2021

15.
The D-type wants you to be exclusive but doesn't place your handle into their brackets.

Essentially, you are their Dirty Little Secret.

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} • Dec 29, 2021

I have to add to this though, because it gets a little grey. In my opinion, as long as the D type states in their profile that they are with someone, then they don't necessarily have to have anything in their brackets. Because, it's the s-type who's collared not the D. So I am fine if they choose not to put { } beside their handle, but they damn well better state it in their profile. If both are blank? Then yes, BIG red flag.

My Dear{Trust} • Dec 29, 2021

Totally Agree!