TwoRingsOneChain
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2 years ago •
Jan 18, 2022
If your logical and intelligent as a sub is that a bad thing
Case in point case in point, the other day I was talking to a dominant who said that he was involved in the lifestyle 5 years. When I read his profile he stated that he had been a dominant for two years and that was written in 21. So I commented to him using his own words that he meant that he'd been a dominant for 3 years. To which he complained and told me I was stupid nor did I understand.
Or another who wrote quite a bit on torturing in both is letter to me and in his profile with very little on the idea of aftercare. Where I commented to him that I think he's over the top as a sadist and I wasn't interested. After I explained to him why you said that I read too much into it and that the Aftercare comes naturally anyways Maybe I do read a little bit too much into things but I also do pay attention to details. I personally like a person to get to the point versus beating around the bush all day long . You know what I mean continuous messages back and forth to get to the point to where we should have been in the first letter in the first place. We already know why we're all here, to find that one person that fits us like a glove. |
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nuli(sub female){Unkolared}
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2 years ago •
Jan 18, 2022
Ok. so i have read your profile to get a feel for what you are actually seeking. i will be honest and say it sounds like you are judging people based on a few private messages. Just because someone talks about a scene with someone and what would be done but doesn't include "aftercare" doesn't mean they do not do it. Just means that's between the two people. Each persons aftercare is different then the next just as what can send someone to subspace is. an example of aftercare for me is just kneeling at their feet and laying my head on their feet. that's all i need. Yours is different correct? doesn't make mine any less or better then yours. Another example. I can not hit subspace unless told to do so. i was trained that way years ago. i will and have begged to go to subspace and when denied i just cant.
Each of us in this lifestyle are different . How do you know without talking if things will work out or if you might find someone who is awesome at answering questions you might have or might open a door you didn't think you would open. Or even to offer you something if you are judging them by a few words in a profile that do not fit your idea. you say you want to find that one person who fits like a glove. You wont find that being judgmental (yes that's how i took what you wrote) we are judged enough about our choices in this lifestyle without adding ourselves to the mix. Try talking with the person before you decide if they are worth getting to know better. That's not to say everyone here is these awesome Doms or trolls. But you will never know until you open your mind a bit and talk with people |
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harleyqt(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Jan 18, 2022
I kinda get what you're saying. I've had a lot of recent instances where my thoughts and opinions have been belittled. I guess some Doms assume we (submissives) are just brain dead sex dolls. It's a huge turn off for me. It's hard to respect a Dom who just thinks I'm a stupid cam girl.
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TwoRingsOneChain
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2 years ago •
Jan 18, 2022
nuli wrote: Ok. so i have read your profile to get a feel for what you are actually seeking. i will be honest and say it sounds like you are judging people based on a few private messages. Just because someone talks about a scene with someone and what would be done but doesn't include "aftercare" doesn't mean they do not do it. Just means that's between the two people. Each persons aftercare is different then the next just as what can send someone to subspace is. an example of aftercare for me is just kneeling at their feet and laying my head on their feet. that's all i need. Yours is different correct? doesn't make mine any less or better then yours. Another example. I can not hit subspace unless told to do so. i was trained that way years ago. i will and have begged to go to subspace and when denied i just cant.
Each of us in this lifestyle are different . How do you know without talking if things will work out or if you might find someone who is awesome at answering questions you might have or might open a door you didn't think you would open. Or even to offer you something if you are judging them by a few words in a profile that do not fit your idea. you say you want to find that one person who fits like a glove. You wont find that being judgmental (yes that's how i took what you wrote) we are judged enough about our choices in this lifestyle without adding ourselves to the mix. Try talking with the person before you decide if they are worth getting to know better. That's not to say everyone here is these awesome Doms or trolls. But you will never know until you open your mind a bit and talk with people I never really thought of it that way maybe I am being judgemental I never meant to be that way There are a few things that you said that I never even thought of to be quite honest about having to get permission to go into Subspace. I've heard about Subspace but I'm not sure if I've been there or not the only thing that I can remember in my previous relationship I remember once I felt like I was falling but when I did that I bought my way out of it too because it scared me at the moment |
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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2 years ago •
Jan 18, 2022
Re: If your logical and intelligent as a sub is that a bad t TwoRingsOneChain wrote: Case in point case in point, the other day I was talking to a dominant who said that he was involved in the lifestyle 5 years. When I read his profile he stated that he had been a dominant for two years and that was written in 21. So I commented to him using his own words that he meant that he'd been a dominant for 3 years. To which he complained and told me I was stupid nor did I understand.. I generally tell people I've been involved in the lifestyle for 25 years - that's for the general public. However, when I begin talking one on one with someone, I'll elaborate and tell them it's been more than 30 years but I just hadn't come clean on my feelings and desires. In fact, I've really been "kinky" since I was a grade schooler.
TwoRingsOneChain wrote: Another wrote quite a bit on torturing in both is letter to me and in his profile with very little on the idea of aftercare. Where I commented to him that I think he's over the top as a sadist and I wasn't interested. After I explained to him why you said that I read too much into it and that the Aftercare comes naturally anyways. I agree with him that not every single step and detail of a scene needs a full on and detailed explanation. I'd agree that aftercare is always a given in any situation and trust that it would be provided unless you know for a certainty that it won't happen.
TwoRingsOneChain wrote: Maybe I do read a little bit too much into things but I also do pay attention to details. I personally like a person to get to the point versus beating around the bush all day long . You know what I mean continuous messages back and forth to get to the point to where we should have been in the first letter in the first place. We already know why we're all here, to find that one person that fits us like a glove. His "beating around the bush" may very well be his mating ritual. Something that excites him in a sense of pursuing his "prey" and letting the anticipation build. Ultimately, only you know what you're willing to wade through in your attempts to make a connection. Often times, rather than being confrontational in your responses, it's better to just ask for clarification.
Ultimately you may have more success and if you find the courting process of one person to be too cumbersome you can always move on. |
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ObsidianOx(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Jan 18, 2022
nuli wrote: Ok. so i have read your profile to get a feel for what you are actually seeking. i will be honest and say it sounds like you are judging people based on a few private messages. Just because someone talks about a scene with someone and what would be done but doesn't include "aftercare" doesn't mean they do not do it. Just means that's between the two people. Each persons aftercare is different then the next just as what can send someone to subspace is. an example of aftercare for me is just kneeling at their feet and laying my head on their feet. that's all i need. Yours is different correct? doesn't make mine any less or better then yours. Another example. I can not hit subspace unless told to do so. i was trained that way years ago. i will and have begged to go to subspace and when denied i just cant.
Each of us in this lifestyle are different . How do you know without talking if things will work out or if you might find someone who is awesome at answering questions you might have or might open a door you didn't think you would open. Or even to offer you something if you are judging them by a few words in a profile that do not fit your idea. you say you want to find that one person who fits like a glove. You wont find that being judgmental (yes that's how i took what you wrote) we are judged enough about our choices in this lifestyle without adding ourselves to the mix. Try talking with the person before you decide if they are worth getting to know better. That's not to say everyone here is these awesome Doms or trolls. But you will never know until you open your mind a bit and talk with people I agree Communication is key, don’t completely judge a book by its cover. But I would keep an eye out for some key words that may be hard limits to yourself or red flags in general. Making a good profile is like making a good resume. Not everyone has they skills for it. So I don’t Judge people to harshly on them. Some people have nothing for a profile; On the other hand some people have a five page essay as a profile and get tl;dr “let’s have sex” replies. Just make the most out what you got. |
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nuli(sub female){Unkolared}
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2 years ago •
Jan 18, 2022
I never really thought of it that way maybe I am being judgemental I never meant to be that way
sometimes it takes a different view to see it in a new light. There are a few things that you said that I never even thought of to be quite honest about having to get permission to go into Subspace. I've heard about Subspace but I'm not sure if I've been there or not the only thing that I can remember in my previous relationship I remember once I felt like I was falling but when I did that I bought my way out of it too because it scared me at the moment[/quote] it sounds like you were getting there but the trust wasn't there for you to fully let go. Trust me when i said you will know when you hit and stay. doesnt mean it will always happen during a scene but when all the right notes are hit. bam you fly |
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nuli(sub female){Unkolared}
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2 years ago •
Jan 18, 2022
I agree Communication is key, don’t completely judge a book by its cover. But I would keep an eye out for some key words that may be hard limits to yourself or red flags in general.
Making a good profile is like making a good resume. Not everyone has they skills for it. So I don’t Judge people to harshly on them. Some people have nothing for a profile; On the other hand some people have a five page essay as a profile and get tl;dr “let’s have sex” replies. lol i used to agree about the profile and what is needed. A. most stop reading ( i am guilty of that myself at times) or just see a word or two and bam they message. B. i also prefer talking with someone to get to know them then what's in profile. Sometimes they put just what others want to hear or what they A"thinki" others want to hear to have others talk with them Just make the most out what you got.[/quote] |
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Sasa(dom female)
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2 years ago •
Jan 18, 2022
Your question was if is good or bad to be intelligent and logical. Even if it is not good, and for some, you will find here it isn't, as you have seen already... what can you do about it. You are what you are. I would say take what you like and leave the others with respect for those who fit better, lol... that always worked.
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TwoRingsOneChain
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2 years ago •
Jan 18, 2022
Thank you everyone for your input, i really do appreciate the comments.
I agree whole heartedly, communication is the key, along with trust and willingness. |
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