Call or not

Call or not

new Luna​(sub female) • Jun 26, 2022

I am sure this is a age old question but it has come up with a few women recently again

When a Dom all of a sudden stops calling or messaging every two days and goes to 4 and 7 days or more. Does the sub sit back and wait for him to nake contact or can they send a message?

I said send a message, if you agree to 2 days and tgey change it for no apparent reason given you have a right to ask what is going on. Some agreed, others did bit.

What is the correct response in this situation with a D/s

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){I Guess } • Jun 26, 2022

Remember that when you’re in a D/s dynamic you are still in a relationship. Your needs are important, and part of the Doms job is taking care of you outside of the playtime. This means keeping communication on a regular basis unless you have agreed not to ahead of time. Him dropping off the face of the earth with no warning and no explanation is wrong. I have had play partners where we only communicated on a touch and go basis, but it was the standard of communication that had already been established. My advice is that if you are not feeling valued and cared for as a person in a partnership then I would remove myself from that partnership.

SirTOuTOO{~ 2u2 ~} • Jun 26, 2022

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- Context is everything.
- What was agreed ? - What was the norm (approx. 2 days) and for how long did this occur, to become expected - weeks, months, years ???
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The 'drop-off' ( depending on the above) - is either a 'test',... or a bail-out. (Ghosting you)
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Only you know the context. ( He knows the reality - so don't hold your breath - under water - waiting for an answer )
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2u2
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Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){I Guess } • Jun 26, 2022

Do not allow yourself to suffer because you think that your (potential) Dominant is “testing” you (as suggested above). There is no good reason for a reduction of communication that hasn’t been negotiated previously. Such a “test” is counterintuitive to everything that the dynamic is supposed to stand for. Trust, shared values, acceptance, love. You are a submissive but in no way does that mean that someone is allowed to harm you emotionally or physically. A submissive can be particularly vulnerable to the cold shoulder and submarine behavior (where he randomly pops in and out) can be very damaging to your psyche.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Jun 26, 2022

Absolutely send a message and then have a discussion about expectations regarding communication. A Dom’s priority should be his sub. If the communication is suddenly inconsistent without explanation, he’s not making an effort to show he cares. It doesn’t take long to send a quick text. Very minimal effort required.

SirTOuTOO{~ 2u2 ~} • Jun 26, 2022

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YES,... but you are making an assumption.
- I wrote of the possibilities,... regardless if they are right or wrong.
- CONTEXT is everything,... and is TOTALLY missing in the original post.
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2u2

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){I Guess } • Jun 26, 2022

There is no missing context. She clearly says that they had a standard of every couple of days, and without explanation or warning it has shifted to every 4 to 7.

Additionally, she isn’t asking for herself she is fact checking her own intuition. Whoever is giving her information and disagreeing with her viewpoint of “is it right to send a message to find out what’s going on” is not interested in the well-being of the hypothetical submissive. Because there are those out there that view a submissive as a receptacle for their abuse.

I am not assuming that this situation is even her situation. I am presenting an alternative view-point to the misinformation that she is being fed.

Notely • Jun 27, 2022

Think of the 2 songs that Madonna Made look up these two song sure you heard of it make a anthem.
Madonna - Material Girl
Love is not who buys you diamonds and fur. Love is being treated very kindly, and gracefully. It's not how much money he has.
You should be treated like a Queen.

Madonna - Express Yourself
He should be winning you over
confidante and realize second best is never enough. You'll do much better baby on your own

If was me I be calling him out on his sh#t Texting :Saying What as happen to you alright? Give him a day to text back , If he is nice says why give him a chance , If he got caught up in real family or something happen people do get busy but yes he should said something let him get back to you , But if he comes back saying not working then just say best of luck no hard feelings , Its been a full day sometimes no answer is answer wish them well.

Don't get to attached or addicted or wait around for someone that not giving you the 100% back he seems he beating around the bush or looking for girl that willing submit right away to get off but just saying. I know you been talking to him not sure how long. But when meeting online if its been few days don't call it relationship don't bow down or submit , Even if its been few weeks of talking don't give in right away yes emotion can run wild you may want to be owned or he wanted you to best to take it slow you have to be the guard of you heart and soul . Even in good month like dating but boy friend and girlfriend yet still getting to know each other be careful with your heart. This why I say don't get to hooked on love yes emotion and hormones can run wild let the bond grow let him be your peace a relationship more down the road should be talked about first but you both need to meet in real or virtual game setting talk face to face what you both set to agree on they need to win your heart over and be emotionally invested before anything. Don't wait around , don't beg , Don't chase just keep living your life some whats to be part of you they need to show with effect and blue prints they should be leading you on know you rights when to say no when to walk away. Dust yourself and try again be happy for you be sexy for you date yourself til you know its right.

I'mME • Jun 27, 2022

What kind of test? That is something that would erode trust, and then they would get a failing grade from me.

I'mME • Jun 27, 2022

This..... At the risk of stating the obvious, submissives are human beings. I posted a comment above, before I read yours. Mine was a few sentences, done with a nip and yours was more involved with a growl. I believe that were both succinct.

Loving it.