Being a kinky unicorn in threesome

Being a kinky unicorn in threesome

KatyLatex​(dom female) • Jul 4, 2022

I’ve recently been watching TV series about vanilla open relationships, and thinking I might like the idea of being the “unicorn” (female who joins an established couple). But wondering if there is scope to do it with some kinky aspects too (latex, strap ons). (Personally I identify more as a Domme, not sub.) But in this case, I would probably be not as a sub or Domme, something more neutral in the middle.

I’m currently in an unusual relationship place myself where I already have an emotional relationship in my life, but am free to explore sexually. But I’m thinking it’ll be hard to find a sub who is only wanting a sexual relationship - most people are either cheating on partners which makes me feel uncomfortable or they want a full time relationship (emotional and sexual ). I’m wondering if joining a couple for threesome would be a better solution as they will not be cheating as their partner is present and included, and they will also not be looking for an emotional connection/life partner.

My ideal would be to get to know and then regularly meet the couple, perhaps once a month.

Wondering if anyone has an experience or advice to share on this idea? (I’m in UK in case that matters.). Thanks

KatyLatex​(dom female) • Jul 4, 2022

Just to add, I’d very much be looking for it to be discussed and negotiated with the couple in advance and during, with clear limits and guidelines; just like BDSM relationships. Not like some version of porn where people never discuss anything!

DrWakko • Jul 4, 2022

I think you answered your own post.

Bunnie • Jul 4, 2022

@ KatyLatex,

What you’re seeking is definitely a possibility, and I imagine you’ll find yourself highly sought after. I’m not sure how intermingled things are where you live, but where I’m currently living, the swingers scene often melds into aspects of some of the kink community here. So perhaps that could be an area for you to look into?

FunCouple{.-Couple-.} • Jul 5, 2022

Hello
I do believe there are several threesome dating apps available.
Never used ourselves so can not recommend anything.
Good fortune to you.
FC

Steve DOM KENT UK​(dom male) • Jul 5, 2022

I had 3 long-term relationships with couples as the extra man and dom bull so understand your view. the longest was 7 y every 2nd weekend all weekend.

Yes, they are sex parts to this situation, also yes there is some sort of attachment if it is long term but it helps all become close, to each other.

If open as you talking this never should stop it is part of a poly-based threesome is it a live-in or as a visit with a reg couple.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 5, 2022

I have to weigh in.. People judging people by their sexual appetites has to STOP!

Stop issuing labels like "Vanilla" to people who don't wanna be (admit it, it's insulting isn't it?) Twisted Fucks like us?

Do we or do we not resent people judging us?

Yet we engage in judging them freely.



Live our lives and take our lumps.. but never feel we are justified to sit in judgement of others.

KatyLatex​(dom female) • Jul 5, 2022

My apologies, no offence was intended by the use of the word “vanilla”; I thought it was a commonly used term with a clear definition. I personally have spent many years enjoying (what I’d call a vanilla) lifestyle so I have no issues with it. I was just trying to find a way to explain clearly what I was thinking. I was not trying to judge anyone, just trying to explain my thoughts. I know it’s always a bit harder to convey with written word than in person, so I’m sorry if it came across in a way that was not how I intended.

MsLas​(sub female){- rope -} • Jul 5, 2022

Speaking as a unicorn, I’d recommend exploring the swinger community. I’ve found swingers to be more open to having more casual, sexually-focused dynamics. Most are in primary relationships already and aren’t looking to change that. You’ll have less of a chance of running into cheating spouses as well, as that’s frowned on in the lifestyle. In my experience, even if just the husband is interested in me, about half of my first dates are with the couple together… I actually like that. It validates that both parties are comfortable, and frankly, having a third person there makes first date conversation so much easier.

I’ve also found there’s a lot of crossover between swinging and BDSM. My two favorite impact Tops are also swingers.

To actually find them, in the US, I’d recommend SZC or SLS as good sites to start with. You’ll get invites to a few events. Go to them, meet lots of people, and you’ll never have a boring weekend again.

Good luck and have fun.

I'mME • Jul 6, 2022

Hello,

I'm going to fist say no offense to MsLas, the word unicorn is not a good word. Mostly I believe the attitude towards the word is directed at the couples who word their ads and seek unicorns.

It stems from the idea [s] of what is their exact role, will there be a contract, what if the couple have issues between them bc of the 3rd, what exactly is in it for the 3rd person, what if 3rd person gives up a home, their entire life will their be something for them should they decide 4o leave
For the person who picks up their lives and moves across the country or put of the country.
The 3rd is a human being something living and breathing.
It's these kinds of questions that many never think to ask.

Unicorns do not exist a'except in magical lands.