Highly experienced sub struggling on how to introduce, educate non-bdsm fiancé wanting to learn.

Highly experienced sub struggling on how to introduce, educa

BluBrat​(sub female){Owned } • Dec 22, 2022

I'm a alpha female sub, highly experienced and educated in the life. I was mentored by a bdsm old guard certified Master. I have found the man of my dreams but he has little to no knowledge of bdsm.
I know so much and in a very wide veratiy of the life. I don't know how or even where to start with out overloading my fiancé.
He is very excited and wanting to learn. Everytime I try to help guide or teach him a little of the life I get frusterated and overwhelmed myself because it toke me almost 2 decades and years of mentorship and face to face experiences to learn what I have.
I crave and live the life 24/7 always have, all the amazing wonderful people that taught me are no longer around so I'm just kinda at a lose as far as how I should help him gain knowledge.
I find myself jumping from one topic to another in an instant. And using terms he has no idea of what they even mean. My fiancé is also getting frusterated becuase I start teaching him then I just stop because I get lost in all my knowledge and I don't know what direction to take, topic wise.
I go way to fast for him, best way I can discribe its like word vomit lol. Not to be grose but it's an eruption of history, facts, terms and life experiences erupting from me all at once. My poor fiance often has took on a deer in the headlights look when I try to teach and guide him into the life. Help?

CSI • Dec 22, 2022

So you have been the head sub in a poly household (or want to be)?

I digress...he needs to learn on his own. His submissive cannot teach him. Of course she can guide, support and suggest, but ultimately he needs to take the initiative, do the research, possibly find a mentor and see what works for him rather than things being thrown at him at sometimes a hundred miles an hour and he will be unable to take it all in. By the reading it sounds as though you both are frustrated and want him to be somewhere where he is not (yet).

Solace​(dom male) • Dec 22, 2022

He needs time. Two decades of catch up is a big ask. It also sounds like you may nit be the best mentor for him at this time. Focus on subjects.

Try writing down a list of terms, subjects, acts or other and then give it to him in for his own research. Don't be thorough. Think big topics and the details can come out through conversation.

Ultimately remember, this is the man your dreams. Don't push so hard or focus on this so much that you jeopardize this relationship.

Kurai Mori​(dom male) • Dec 22, 2022

What the others said ^^^

He is going to need time to digest the material in front of him, learn it in his own way and come to an understanding in his own time. Granted that means being a good little subbie and waiting for him to play catch up. But we all learn in different ways, styles and timelines... he could pick it up in 6 months or it could take him 6 years.

There is no good answer here.

Bringing a novice into the lifestyle and expecting them to go from zero to experienced over night, is unrealistic.

I suggest, sit back and enjoy the ride... watch them grow into whomever they are going to become. Cheer them on, root for them and enjoy the learning process. Maybe seeing how much fun you are having with them growing, they will continue to expand - wanting to further your enjoyment... but that is not a given.
They will ultimately become - who they will be, in the lifestyle.

House Talion​(dom male) • Dec 22, 2022

I'd say start with the basics of whatbyou know and lead him to new ways of giving you please and see how he reacts.

Like start with spanking. Get him comfy, get on top, and when you start to rock back n forth place his hands on each cheek. Then pull them away and use his hands to slap your ass and in due process give a very satisfied reaction. A lil moan or bitting yourblips should suffice. Rock a lil more n donit again after a moment and repeat till he catches on to the face that getting spanked while you ride uim intensifies that experience for you.

If all goes well you could whisper sweetly in his ear how all that made you feel and how you'd love to next time bend over for him and stay with a good spanking so yourebpusay is dripping wet and hungry for his cock.

Bunnie • Dec 23, 2022

Is it possible for you to just let it all go and allow him to lead?

You never know… it might take you to places you never expected

I'mME • Dec 23, 2022

HI,

Maybe he could read some books, I'm sure you have some that you enjoyed. But let him pick how he goes about learning.
There are several good folks on YouTube he can learn from.

As Bunny suggested, let him lead.

DelightfullyDominant​(dom male) • Dec 25, 2022

You are both at totally different levels in terms of D/s knowledge and experience. You love him not because of him being a dominant but because he has other attributes that made you accept him as your fiancé. It is great that he wants to learn. You will need to be patient and remember why he became your fiancé in the interim. It is going to leave you with at least a partial submissive void until he learns (which will take a bit of time). Perhaps you can put in touch with some of the old school doms so he can learn from them rather than you?

BluBrat​(sub female){Owned } • Dec 25, 2022

BluBrat​(sub female){Owned } • Dec 25, 2022

I promiss if it's just slowed downed and I will gradually cum along, I love u and truly thought we was both making gains. Some days more so than others. Also if u would only truly submit, let down all guards and inhibitions... Trust and believe I'm always gonna place u above any and one else

Hb