When Is It A Good Idea To Be Under Protection

When Is It A Good Idea To Be Under Protection

SassyinCali​(sub female) • Jul 3, 2024

I searched past topics for this and did not find what I was looking for. I apologize if this is, in fact, repetitive. If so, please scroll on by.

I am curious as to when it is a good idea to find a Dom who will act as a protector. I think that is the right term, but I am sure that I will receive comments if I am not correct. I see that some subs state that they are “under protection”. I am curious as to what that means exactly or if it is like anything else in the lifestyle where it can vary by those involved and what is agreed to.

My basic understanding is that it is a Dom who acts in an advisory capacity for a sub and does not have any personal interest in owning or entering a dynamic with the sub. This way it keeps the advice given unbiased. I beleieve they also help in the vetting of any potential Doms. I am also curious as to why someone would agree to be a protector and what they would gain from it except just helping out a sub who needs some assistance.

I have been in three official D/S dynamics, and I have interacted with many different Doms. I believe that I do a pretty good job of screening and saying no thank you at the appropriate times. I know how to block people and I think I communicate well. However, I do not block unless I feel that I have no choice, or the person is aggressive or rude.

I have felt lately that I may need some guidance and support with some of my decisions. I have friends, both sub and Dom alike. But I am not sure that I have any Dom friends who may be open to filling this protection role for me. I am a bit nervous to even ask if I do not completely understand what it entails.

Any feedback on the role of protector would be greatly appreciated. If anyone has thoughts on how to find a Dom to fill that roll would also be appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jul 3, 2024

Well, back in my heyday, Protectors were called Mentors. But, knuckle dragging fucks messed that up, so they came up with the new term.

TBH, You can get yourself a Protector whenever you god damn feel like it. The main thing is to know who is trustworthy. A chunk of Dom/mes will offer up to be one, only to take advantage of the relationship (which is how Mentors got fucked up). In my not so humble opinion, anyone who offers is to be suspect (now take this with a grain of salt, cuz sometimes I can be a dick).

Now really, Protectors (pre fucking up Mentors) are guilds and instructors. They can and should give you advice and teach a few things. But never actually touch you physically. That is not what they are there for.

SassyinCali​(sub female) • Jul 3, 2024

Thank you, Topeka, for taking the time to reply.

Garv​(dom male) • Jul 3, 2024

TopekaDom summed up the problem very well, there are a lot of wanna be Doms, protecters, mentors, etc. out there.
You don't sound as though your looking for physical protection, but a third party "consultant". Vet them the same as you would any other potential Dom, only all interaction is by email, no phone numbers, if you need to talk, Skype.
If you see anything going south, block that email and move on.
There out there, only finding them isn't easy.

InATimelyFashion • Jul 4, 2024

What he and he said. But find a pack of friends vibe with your friends you got ones that understand even if they are not in the lifestyle ones that understand that trust is earned. Women are even good friends and protectors but nothing forced. If you feel tired of things men are rare, yes not have to be a guy, it can be he/she/they even the best protector as well. Be the protector of your life your the first partner in your life you are human just be badass women submissive have right to put the foot down don't take crap anyone got a problem will that to bad tell the see ya bye boy bye. There are some good men who do check on people, not asking for anything but they will look out for you not demand anything or cross the line to see how people treat you. Know your gut feeling never settle for anything less.

InATimelyFashion • Jul 4, 2024

The whole taking consideration also don't fall for it because many pull it but just wanna see who will jump you don't need to jump they need to be willing to keep your happy and respect you cause no freaken consideration no one is a side dish your ether full treasure or good bye.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jul 4, 2024

OK ok ok ok....

Here is something I forgot to mention and is going to blow your mind:

subbies can be protectors (mentors) of other subbies as well and Domly Dom/mes.

You haven't seen shit til you have send one or more of a pack of subs defend or protect another sub.

It is like watching a minor henchman getting eaten by a pack of piranhas in a Jame Bond film.

InATimelyFashion • Jul 4, 2024

Got that right!

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 4, 2024

Never really needed any of that, at least not recently, but don't sell the hairy-knuckle-dragging neanderthal impersonators short.

Out on a stroll on roads less traveled, they can be very effective, especially in my situation where I'd be better served being the Exorcist Girl-- constantly needing to see what's around me. Also---as I am but 5 feet tall and barely over 100# soaking wet, having a hulking, semi-simian protector alongside can make it look like I have exceptional talent in some special capacity.

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But I suppose bringing along a band of subs acting in the capacity of screaming meemies, or better still, highly vocal banshees can be likewise effective.

hee hee hee

House Talion​(dom male) • Jul 6, 2024

When you're new or unsure of the right reactions to make. Good to have an experienced mind working in your favor even if not as your partner