| AlphaByDesign(dom male) |
2 weeks ago •
Dec 5, 2024
Observation about getting over someone
This is an observation that I’ve made but would be interested in your opinion.
The last few weeks I have seen profiles on here of someone saying that they were grieving over a relationship/dynamic ending and within a few days they were owned and collared again. So my question is how long is a healthy length of time to recover before you move on to a new one or do you think they might be trying to fill a void with a new dynamic? This isn’t related to anything I’ve experienced but I’m curious what others might thing about this. |
|
|
Online now
lambsone
|
2 weeks ago •
Dec 5, 2024
For me I've found that the more I've invested in the relationship, the longer it takes if/when it ends. It also depends on how much I like the person and how far into the future I have fantasized about belonging to them. If I really like them and we parted amicably, then it takes longer to grieve over what I don't have anymore.
|
|
|
Softnote(masochist female)
|
2 weeks ago •
Dec 5, 2024
Someone might have a person also protecting them but they might say with someone they might grow a friendship the person is guiding them but may not be forever deal til they feel they and free themself be at peace. Not really safe to jump into anything but some people need to learn for themself you tell a person that it is not good but it takes a few times until they get the picture that their heart is broken in ways that burns inside that they got hurt real bad then they start understanding best to wait. But you still talk to people and meet people don't have to jump into anything but some people want the bond. People do it all diffren't to get over someone they still go out and date don't have to do anything just keep on being friends til might be soothing more. People can heal in all different ways. I have seen people sky dive both people did of breaking up celebrating a break up. You can divorce and celebrate your divorce with friends on cruise. Summer after the high school guy I was seeing we broke up. He took me to go see Legally Blonde 2 but he was moving and life was changing so was mine. I also had a guy in high school friend who said take go see the hillside so that what he did was break up we hugged and moved on. I feel break ups can be different ya sometimes we need to pick me up. But like I said I had friend would keep getting in relationship and moving in with people to quick and relocate to them they were in rough patch but I told them I can be here for you but up to you to leave your adult and lots people would walk away but their fault til they see done to someone they love or lose someone she lost someone was dying of cancer they they were close to the person friend dying wish was please be happy for yourself was sad but really woke them up. She said she really needed to step up her game.
break up , recover , up game. King Of Wishful Thinking https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBZUz4C6kqk Savage Garden , Animal Song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nc2C9PQJ2A Aqua - Turn Back Time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ls0WfopgR9k The Corrs - Dreams https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BglEyv5O2Y Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World - Black Sheep https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-H9bbi0Vyw Charli XCX & Troye Sivan - 1999 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-v1b9waHWY Republica - Ready to Go https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgffRW1fKDk The Smiths - How Soon is Now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33-5bsbQj-w Carrie Bradshaw’s Pick-Me Behavior https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMx_kfHh9oE Cruella’s First Entrance https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leyHCDdVKIA Joker breaks up with Harley Quinn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyWOFi5eUgU Savage Garden - To The Moon & Back https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCm6gRHINqA Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - (Forever) Live And Die https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moFiaQPCl04 Sandra - Heaven Can Wait https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSqhxAaZOjE Adele Skyfall https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnu571p2CCw Savage Garden - Crash and Burn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W60IPexop30 |
|
|
|
LoveandDevotion(sub female){Looking}
|
2 weeks ago •
Dec 5, 2024
It is a form of grieving and everyone grieves differently.
I remember first observing that when my dog died as a kid and the family was split between people who wanted to immediately get a new dog and those for whom it was too soon. And I don't think any of us hadn't loved the late dog. Relationships end for many different reasons and in many different ways. Some end because of deep issues that take time to unpack and learn from. Others are just circumstantial or situational, like when one partner wants a child and the other doesn't. Heart breaking, but no real lesson to be learned. Sometime a relationship has been over for months before it actually ends. Other ones you would have sworn you'd be together for the rest of your life when you wake up in the morning and it's just over by the time you to bed. And some people love easier and some harder. Some are more resilient, others are brittle. Sometimes new relationships are really just the next steps in old ones, like when old friendships suddenly are something new. Others are love at first sight. Basically if it isn't our relationship, why are we judging? Each relationship is unique and just because it would be too soon for person A doesn't mean it is for person B. Yes, they may be making a mistake... but if they are, it's theirs to make. |
|
|
| Dengizich(switch male){not likely} |
2 weeks ago •
Dec 7, 2024
I think that some good points have been made here. For me, it seems like something I was told one time applies to this question. "Not all people deserve to be mourned equally", I was told. Dynamics are probably the same. When you are adding the dimension of many people, it probably muddies that further, but I would think that different dynamics would be mourned differently by the same person. For me, I think my Dom side is a little easier to move on than my sub side. I know after I was uncollared from my first collar, I needed an amount of time to get myself reset... but there was a significant amount of self-discovery involved in that submission, so that certainly shifted the recovery perspective, I'd think. At the end of, it may be more a question of awareness of a trend in terms of vetting a potential partner, but that may just be me.
|
|
|
Sincorrigible(sub female)
|
2 weeks ago •
Dec 8, 2024
How long's a piece of string?
Relationship is used widely to mean very very different things. And the kink world is notorious for the candy shop approach of picking things up, being 'deadly serious' and then ditching someone when things a) are not what they seemed, b) no time was taken to figure each other out, c) because we're all kink shopping for that D to our s, s to our D. And we live in perpetual hope. None of that is necessarily bad or wicked people. But the online world makes these things a million times more complicated. I've said it before, it's a fucking videogame or Instagram reel on repeat. |
|
|
Miki(masochist female)
|
2 weeks ago •
Dec 8, 2024
The "quality" of a relationship is gauged by a different metric now than when one's grandparents or even great-grandparents were starting out.
In recent times, even before Online dating or other social sites there were "Personals Ads" in the local newspaper, getting "fixed up" on a blind date by a well-meaning friend or the good old "pick-up bar" if one merely wanted to have a drink, put up with a joke, and later hit the sheets for a poke ---"with future possibilities". Everything is just that much more disposable. As for "How long is long enough to wait before replacing a lost relationship?" Insufficient information to begin to throw a number out there. It would help to know how long the person in the profile in question was in the dynamic they were grieving over. One thing usually holds true, though... If one loses or terminates a relationship and dives headlong into something new... That is or was called "On the Rebound" and while a new honey or hunk will salve the empty space, the emotional fallout from having lost or dumped the prior relationship will influence feelings in the rebound relationship in many ways, few of them good. That's why "Love on the Rebound" is so often fraught with frustration and a short lifespan. But it seems as though that's how it goes these days. Why spend hours in the kitchen making a meal when you can open a box, dump a can into a bowl, order via DoorDash or as "Little Debbie" advertising might still say: Just "Unwrap a smile" Instant Gratification. ---If one isn't too selective about the "face" around the smile: skip all that pre-processing and added sugar and just call a plumber--- Not me, ever,....just throwing that one out there for shits and giggles. Besides, I doubt there are any twisted plumbers on the site. |
|
|
|
MisterAshmodai(dom male)
|
1 week ago •
Dec 8, 2024
A healthy period of time for getting over a relationship is however long it takes each individual to reach a healthy head-space regarding grief, introspection, and reflection.
As with pretty much everything else, it is subjective. That being said, if you pay attention, you will likely notice some folx who indicate that they are going through a breakup, then post that they are in a fully committed new relationship within a very short period. Pay closer attention and you will notice that within a comparably short time they are back to mourning another failed dynamic only to once again proclaim that they have found their true, once-in-a-lifetime partner again. They tend to be habitual. Personally, I have a number of theories explaining this habit, but the simplest one is that humans are not great at being alone, even when periods of solitude might just be the best thing for us. |
|
|
|
JenX
|
1 week ago •
Dec 11, 2024
Some are chasing the feeling and strongly grieve it, and when the next hit comes along, then. . . .
|
|
|
TopekaDom(dom male)
|
1 week ago •
Dec 11, 2024
Sincorrigible wrote: How long's a piece of string?
But what do you get when your break a crumb in half? 2 crumbs |
|
|