Submission or Domination??

Submission or Domination??

A Minx • Feb 14, 2025

Recently, I was speaking with a friend about blow jobs. It was from my perspective, at the time, as an act of submission. But, I was completely surprised even shocked (as I had NEVER even considered it) that my male friend took the perspective that it was an act of domination!

There is submission in the receiving/taking of someone's sex, sometimes there's a feeling (whether it's real or not) of one loosing control or urgently being dominated to finish 'the act' but if one initiates a blow job is it considered by the recipient as an act of domination or (as a means to, or ultimately) submission?

The more I thought about it the more I am confused but very interested in other opinions on this topic and where you stand... so, for anyone who may have a thought or opinion, for those that give and/or receive - Do you think or view the giving of a blow job as an act of submission or domination?

Please feel free to share and extra points for opinions and examples on why.

billdoe​(sub male) • Feb 14, 2025

giver is dominant

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Feb 14, 2025

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm sorry. These kinds of topics have always struck me as utterly hilarious. But, that is because I am an Asshole.

The act itself is neither. HOW it is done determines whether it is D or s.

If the sucker (pardon the image but it was too fun not to pass up) initiates the act, such as unzipping and pulling down the pants, placing the genitals in the mouth and commences the action, then yes, that is a D move on the sucker's part.

If the suckee forces the other to their knees, gets their own genitals out and puts it in the mouth of the sucker, then it is a s move on the sucker.


Mouthfucking is always a D move.

Zoneinlingo​(neither female) • Feb 14, 2025

Yea, what TopekaDom said. Except I'm not a asshole. ? I agree the act is just oral sex by itself. How it's done, does it even matter?

Re: Submission or Domination??

Heero​(dom male) • Feb 14, 2025

Perhaps your confusion comes from a misunderstanding of what submission and dominance is, at least in a BDSM context?

If I asked you to define "submission" in BDSM, what would you say?
If I asked you to define "dominance" in BDSM, what would you say?
If I asked you "can submission and dominance exist in a vacuum without their complement, in BDSM?", what would you say?

An act can be both/neutral, it is simply a matter of perspective. (Assuming SSC is followed) if someone is dominating you, are you not, in that moment, submitting to the domination? Isn't submission and domination happening at the same time? What would you call it if someone decides to dominate you and you did not submit/consent to them, for example?

Bunnie • Feb 14, 2025

It completely depends on the context.
Simply being a “hole” that is face-fucked, or spending a length of time pleasuring someone with no desired “outcome,” or being used as a receptacle, definitely falls into submissive territory for me.
However, controlling the outcome or experience through edging or tease and denial, or determining the “how” of which it occurs, for me, falls more into dominant territory.

Heero​(dom male) • Feb 14, 2025

And both can happen concurrently.

MissBonnie​(dom female)​{oz} • Feb 15, 2025

For me its a sex act (action), not a role.

billdoe​(sub male) • Feb 15, 2025

some people may just read to much into others comments and try to show some kind of intelligence and look at a thesaurus to use to achieve their superiority. lol

SageFlame​(sub female) • Feb 17, 2025

For me, it primarily about giving pleasure. This being a pleasure to DO ( for me) because it gives pleasure.

I thought it was strange for someone to say that the dominant one gives. I mean, if you speak of two people in the same place at the same time they are both giving of themselves. You can't give anything more valuable than your time.