Being a "Dom"

Being a "Dom"

Dora the explorer​(sub female)​{Yes} • Mar 11, 2025

I have been with a "Dom" for 4 years now and the only Domination that I have seen is him being Dominated by his ex wife's step grandkids. I'm waiting but when I ask for sex more than once a year I'm an a$$hole. His ex wife's grandkids can beat him up for not buying them pot or for not letting them live with a pedophile and that's ok. But if I want to fuck more than once a year with my 64 yo bf I'm an a$$ hole. I love my "dom" but he's being dommed by his ex wife and her kids and her grandkids. What's should I do when I'm in love with him but he's still in love with her and her family?

pioneer man​(sub male) • Mar 11, 2025

I've known others in similar situations. There is no easy answer.

If you have put up with this for 4 years, quite frankly, as hard as it may be, it's time to move on. You say you love him, but if he is "still in love with her", what do you expect to gain from the relationship?

At your age (and I'm older than you), you don't need to waste your time going nowhere. Cut the cord and go out and enjoy yourself. Chances are high that you will find another man that will give you the fun life you deserve.

This is grimm personal story, but true. My wife and I knew a woman in a situation who was in love with a man who had some things going on similar to what you described. We told her to get away from him - she did not and less than a week later, she was murdered.

House Talion​(dom male) • Mar 11, 2025

For what I can see of your profile you're a sub and not specificly owned by your Dom and poly. So when he's lacking of his duties to take care of your needs find another. Maybe you'll find a sexually frustrated Master that wants to own and collar you

A Minx • Mar 12, 2025

Run!

SoftSoul​(masochist female) • Mar 12, 2025

Get out while you can. Find help, a good therapist and date yourself, then find someone who is a clean slate and good to you and has time to know you.

Unchained​(sub female) • Mar 12, 2025

Do people chat in here

Zoneinlingo​(neither female) • Mar 12, 2025

In my opinion your dom should be focused on your needs. If he's not and he's more concerned about his ex, the children is a touchy subject so I won't go there. I think you just need to walk away. And no, if you still love him it won't be easy and it will hurt. But sometimes we need to just rip that band aid off.
But what do I know, I'm just vanilla.

SayYesMaam​(dom female) • Mar 12, 2025

What is a "dom"? I thought that meant dominant. He does not seem to be. I am sure he would be my submissive. LOL

SoftSoul​(masochist female) • Mar 12, 2025

I'm just going to say no offence. Altogether - Gross anything pedo no thanks cause if you get yourself involved you have no what going on something not to jump in to could get yourself in danger. It does not matter if they do not change the justice system, they need to keep them away from others. Just because you got some fantasy, it's still like bleach to your mind why I said get out why you can.


Anything that goes against the law involving kin is jail time. Therapy is not hard to find, and faith is free - whatever you believe - but get this out of your mind.


Even in the job world, if you get caught with the wrong people, it's hard to find work - your reputation is on the line . Make your life better by thinking of respect and putting it in your life. Good Dom does not act like this does have the baggage. Would be a clean slate with no crazy like this.

More like call the authorities and let them deal with the sicko then bye. Think of your safety, not as a fantasy, because if you want someone, the right one still needs to be a safe person. Just looking out for your safety, do better 'cause you deserve better than this plenty of safe ones - that will give you peace - not a headache. BDSM is not about sex - it's about bonding, love and trust, it's someone who brings you safety and respect first and wants to get to know you in a connection slowly. True intimacy is about a lot more than just sex…

Intimacy is not just sex, it's dreaming together - about hopes, goals, plans for the future, with safety.


There are plenty of ways to have sex without intimacy.

There are also plenty of ways to experience intimacy without sex.

Limiting our concept of intimacy to only sexual acts is incredibly inaccurate and rather unfortunate…

Intimacy is about closeness and connection… Thus, many people experience the deepest forms of intimacy during things such as vulnerable conversations, nurturing and taking care of each other, and even just cuddling together.

Let’s be clear that there is NOTHING wrong with craving physical & sexual intimacy… it is a basic human need and desire… but let’s also be clear that this is not the only way to feel close and connected to your partner. Make sure the person is safe, use your gut feeling, do your research, background checks and self-defense.

It is through the combination of multiple types of intimacy that we feel the safest, closest, and most connected to our person. ♥️

(and on a side note… if you are looking to improve the quantity and/or quality of your sex life… start by improving your emotional safety & connection… game changer.

SoftSoul​(masochist female) • Mar 12, 2025

In Discussion, yes.

the action or process of talking about something in order to reach a decision or to exchange ideas.
"The proposals are not a blueprint but ideas for discussion."
a conversation or debate about a certain topic.
plural noun: discussions
"discussions about environmental improvement in the lifestyle.
A particular topic with speech into writing.