Advice for surviving the death of a partner.

Advice for surviving the death of a partner.

Sinity​(dom female) • Oct 15, 2025

My husband passed suddenly and unexpectedly. We had, at the start of our marriage, a strong D/s lifestyle that evolved and developed as we both grew. He was, still, always my protector and comfort in every way. I relied on him for so much and without him I feel so lost, like that me has also died because I cannot be her without his guidance and support.

Have any of you lost a partner? What are some tips you have for becoming the new person you have to become?

Eagertolearn​(switch male) • Oct 15, 2025

I can't help you with your question but I am very sorry for your loss

I don’t have an answer.

The Avatar​(dom male) • Oct 17, 2025

So sorry to hear of your loss.

smehusa​(sub male) • Oct 17, 2025

hello i lost my 1st wife 16 years ago. it took me about 2 years to get back out there and i am still healing i will never forget my 1st wife but i did find another person. we have bee married 6 years and together 10. the few things i will tell you do not drink at it, deal with it and go to counseling. be very honest with who ever you have sparks with. i told my second wife about my spanking needs after about a month of dating. i am very glad i did from the beginning. it has turned into a relationship that is the same but also different than my 1st. the same is that my needs are met. the difference is that we are brutally honest with each other. and we do have more interests in common than my 1st wife and i. i am enjoying my life to the utmost. plus she has brought me into a more interesting life. there is so much more than sex and such in a relationship. we both were honest enough with each other and my self to explore more of the things life has to offer. today i am doing things with my wife that i would have never done by myself or with the 1st wife. 1 being i go fishing by myself and with other friends with out guilt. i know when she wants a girls night that it is just that not that she is getting tired of me it is that she wants female conversation. i have come to realize with her help that i also need male conversation and alone time. we are always there for each other just like my 1st marriage but we do not have to be linked at the hip. as i said my 1st wife will always be remembered but i have found i can make new memories with this wife and be happy. if there are any other things you would like to discuses feel free to reach out

Anna Lynn​(sub female) • Oct 18, 2025

First, I am so sorry. I know that doesn’t make it any better. I wish I could hug ya and take you out for a stiff drink. I really do feel your pain.

I met the love of my life when I was very young. We grew together in every way two people can. We didn’t know about BDSM but we had a strong power exchange relationship nonetheless. We learned things about ourselves and about each other naturally. There was no expectation to live within this label or that. We were safe with each other.

I was nineteen when he died. We were engaged to be married and I had gotten pregnant. One day at work, I started to bleed and I was rushed to the hospital. He had been working with his uncle and they had been drinking beer. When he got behind the wheel to drive, he was drunk. He was speeding to get to me and he hit the side of a tracker trailer so hard that the truck’s engine crushed him. I blamed myself for so long. It’s been 31 years and I still blame myself.

All I can say is let yourself greave for as long as you need to. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care and won’t try to rush the process. Find things to do with your time that bring you peace and calmness. Please don’t fall into negative habits because that will surely make everything worse. In time, you will be ready to go through your partner’s things. Keep what is most important to you and try to let the rest go. You want to move forward in your life step by tiny step and not stay stuck in the past. Remember that your partner would want you to be happy and at peace.
Time does not heal all wounds but it does make them easier to bare . It rounds out the sharp edges and in time makes it easier to breathe again, to look at pictures, to sit with your memories and feel a measure of happiness and comfort that you had someone so special in your life that loved you.

**Hugs**

Curiousfsub​(sub female) • Oct 19, 2025

Firstly, can I just say how sorry I am for your loss and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

I lost my partner and best friend to suicide last year and the truth is, I'm still not nor will I ever be "over it". What I will say is the pain gets easier to live with/mask over time, I haven't quite figured out if that's a coping mechanism designed by our brains to take the edge off or just to ease up the rest of normal society so they dont have to tip toe around us anymore or deal with the awkwardness that grief brings.

WhiteRoses​(sub female) • Oct 20, 2025

I am taking a quick break at work so will come back again after work. It's been 8 years for me and boy I wish I had the answers. But please feel free to reach out to me if you need to talk. Some days it's like it happened yesterday. I so understand what you are dealing with. I will drop back and write something more constructive. I just wanted to say reach out if you want to talk.

Re: Advice for surviving the death of a partner.

Master gentle​(dom male) • Oct 21, 2025

Yes. My wife was my submissive for 38 years. She gave me purpose and meaning in my life. She died in September 2024. I know the lost feeling you speek of. Now I am looking for another obedient submissive to have for the rest of my life. Now that is all I have left, is the search.

Miss Fortune​(dom female) • Oct 21, 2025

Hi. New here, haven't even made a profile yet but yes, I lost my partner of a decade three years ago very tragically and suddenly. It's not been an easy road. We were not in a dynamic and were in a platonic but loving partnership. I took things one hour at a time, I learned to ask for help which went against my nature, I allowed myself tons of room for mistakes, and practised self forgiveness radically. I let myself be sad when sad, happy when happy, I got counselling, tried radical therapeutic methods (some were very helpful). I also didn't get in another serious relationship right away, which many do to avoid the pain. I didn't make any radical changes until year three.

Mostly I just waited....waited for my relationship ship to him post loss evolved and changed, and eventually memories began to spark joy rather than sorrow. Just remember, no matter how hard it gets in the coming months and years, nothing stays the same.....our feelings change, and if you're in the dark, you will come into the light again.

ewieya​(kinky female)​{Myself} • Oct 22, 2025

I'm so sorry for your loss. And sending you warmth and comfort....

I have not lost a partner. I lost my first love though (puppy love, high school stuff). He died way too young. I didn't handle it well.

When my dog passed (I'm so sorry if that sounds bad, I'm not comparing it to your loss), I was devastated and felt ill-prepared. My friend had lost both of her parents before the age of 18. She gave me her 2 cents and it helped me with my dog and later, when my mom passed. I hope it helps you.

For my friend, hearing that they are in a better place and you will see them again.... these ideas didn't help her. Instead, she would tell herself that her time with the person was over. (She needed to accept that). That she needed to fill that time and use that energy for something new.

I don't think the pain of losing someone ever gets easier. Maybe we always feel the loss of many. And to me, what you're going through is beyond words as romantic love has always been so important to me. I'm so sorry, again, for your loss. And I hope you find positive things to fill the time that you have lost with your husband.