Why is it so hard to find a true sub little?

Why is it so hard to find a true sub little?

Evolved​(dom male) • Oct 3, 2018

Hi everyone

My topic poses such frustrations
Are there actually real sub/littles?
I’ve encountered a few who made claims, promises etc but in the end it’s just people wanting to play house.

I’ve dedicated so much of my life learning and perfecting this way of life and find it actually insulting when other behave in such ways.

I guess this turned more into a rant than a topic and my apologies in that one.

Aubrey21​(sub female) • Oct 3, 2018

Looks like there are a few of us with bad luck.. I've seen sevarl post asking why it's so hard to find X. All I can say is keep your standards high and keep trying. Hope you're luck turns around.

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 3, 2018

because they are shy, scared, been abused, been lied to, they have specifics demands for their Daddy.
This is not a shop, its a complex and a long process. Regardless how much you chat and communicate there is still a chance that a sub wont meet up or enganged into a relationship.
So be prepared to be dissapointed and frustrated.

Evolved​(dom male) • Oct 3, 2018

Hopefully the day comes when people don’t view this life as a entity to dabble in, but to embrace.

Especially subs and littles. I’ve met some doms and daddy’s that truly are the best of the best and they have actually started shying away from the life because of the very actions of the topic.

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 3, 2018

I am surprised that you are experienced in the field but feel highlly frustrated??
For sure you must know how it works by now?

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Oct 3, 2018

It seems to me that all the ones saying they can't find 'X' always seem to preface it with 'true' or 'real'. There are plenty with little tendencies here, as well as plenty of Doms. A good match always takes time and effort. No sense in complaining about the ones you aren't compatible with or blaming the behaviors of folks in general.

CK45​(sub female) • Oct 3, 2018

DomYuma, perhaps writing a blog or writing a story about the sub/littles you are looking for might help?
For those of us that are new or are trying to find our way..it might help bring another aspect of this world to light.
Just a thought..
Good luck in your search.

sweet november​(sub female) • Oct 3, 2018

Many "true" subs and I looked at your profile, youi had a little that regressed to age 4 to 5...a very vulnerable age in itself. Anyway, many subs are expected to open up their desires, their vulnerabilities, put full trust in their Doms. And many times a Dom has rules with no leniency. Or they don't have any expectations, which can be very confusing.
Many times a Dom expects so much from a sub or in your case a little... yet when asked to provide a feeling of security or comfort.... for example...a simple good morning or good night, no matter how it's done, online, in person, over the phone, takes a total of probably 15 to 20 seconds. When something so simple isn't done and takes that small amount of time.... can cause a sub, especially, I imagine a little, that is feeling 4 or 5 years old, takes away trust very quickly. Even a "i'm really busy but wanted you to know" message, communication can solve so much.
Not saying you would do this. But so many subs experience this. So time and patience and listening are important.
This is one very simple but giant example of why it's hard to find a "true" sub.
We can only give so much before exhaustion sets in.

I hope that makes sense.
Then there are the Doms that do abuse, or that only want power and or play.
They should say so, they actually should not even put Dom next to their name. Because they only want the kink and not the responsibility. Same for subs.

I implore Doms and subs to put this in their profile if they are only looking to play now and then. It would save a lot of time.

Evolved​(dom male) • Oct 3, 2018

Very valid points, seems one of the biggest issues found is the mistreatments of subs and littles.

CK45​(sub female) • Oct 3, 2018

CSC, agree that no expectations is so confusing.
I think all people make it hard by being so specific (my Dom or sub has to be X,Y,Z or it doesn't work) all relationships have to be a bit flexible on both sides I think.
Just my opinion but with online play it feels like someone with no expectations just wants to get their rocks off...
And that's ok too if that's what you are looking for. Just be honest.
Again, my opinion only, please disregard if you do not like it (don't want to start any big arguments on here..~sigh~)
❤️