Concerns

Concerns

Evolved​(dom male) • Oct 10, 2018

Greetings all

I’m learning that there are a lot of abused subs out here, by abused I mean used by want to be doms who just seek power over someone or to just “ hit it and quit it”

I’d really like to know what everyone’s thoughts are on this, doms and subs alike.

This needs light shed on it soas doms we better understand the subs we will encounter in the cage.

ZenGoddess420​(sub female){Not yet} • Oct 12, 2018

I haven't encountered that yet. The one Dom I have met I chose to fully submit to because my Dom is in it for long term because trust is needed .i have experienced guys wanting to hit it and quit it in normal situations but not in the sub dom world yet...

Kind Master • Oct 12, 2018

I do not do forum chats however this is a topic of passion with me and I cannot let the subject of abuse of subs pass without comment. This is a subject of immense importance.
There are many ways to have a sub devote themselves to a Dominant, fear should not be one of them for to dominate by fear is no achievement, anyone can beat and whip and have a girl comply by making her cower in the knowledge of reprisal and punishment, it takes a person of immense patience and understanding of her needs to earn devotion freely given.
I abhor the abuse of subs and cannot over stress this.
From my view a true Dom/Master has a responsibility to care for the well being of his girl.
This for me is in allowing her to develop as I instruct her in the path she has chosen.
It is a responsibility she has entrusted to me. She looks to her Master in the knowledge that she, body and mind is safe in my care and this she is and always will be.
To harm her or abuse that trust could not be further from my thoughts, it will never happen.
It should be remembered that this trust has to be earned probably over a long period of time. Trust leads to respect, to be respected by your sub is the ultimate accolade that she can bestow upon her owner.
To have this trust from a sub who puts her life, her very existence in her Masters control is nothing less than an honor.
Those who think a sub is there to abuse for their own gratification are not Dominants or Masters but simply abusers chancing on the vulnerability of those who seek help and guidance and great harm to their charges they do not only physically but psychologically.
To class yourself as a true Dom/ Master, your sub has to want to be with you, to crave your attention be this on line or in life and it is you who has to
earn this level of devotion.
There is nothing greater, more satisfying to me than the total devotion and respect of my girl.
A sub who strives to please her Master will rarely require chastisement if at all, however such punishments have no need to be physical, a psychological chastisement has much more relevance where fear is replaced by disappointment, the disappointment shown by her Master and thus felt by her, this for her is a failing on her part, one she will feel deeply and want never to occur again.
So if I was to encapsulate this into a few words I would simply say, "Respect your sub and she will respect you as her Master"

ForbiddenDesyre​(sub female){~Not Inter} • Oct 12, 2018

I don't feel like The Cage is any different than real life, as far as love and relationships go. Even in real life, we meet people who wish to decieve and manipulate us. The Cage can not be held to any different standards.
Honestly speaking, this environment, though it is limited, makes the "weeding" process a bit easier. Will we meet jerks that are over sexualized or ill intentioned? Absolutely.. But at least here, we have a bit more control. *** That BLOCK button does wonders. Lol

At the end of the day, if it were easier to find what we need in real life, many probably would not be here.
First impressions aren't everything, but they do set a tone. Go slow, be smart, and stay safe. There are assholes on both sides of the /.
'Tis life.
❤ BB

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 12, 2018

stop treating subs like they are porcelain or vulnerable or gullible etc, some might be more needy than other but overall most of them choose to be submissive but also are smart, strong enough to take care of themselves.
in my opinion

Abuse of subs

Kind Master • Oct 12, 2018

To Fab Severus in response to your view , you of course have every right to your opinion as do I, however your response is surprising. Subs vary in their need, desire and ability to look after themselves and to have any thought that they are in any way inept would be totally wrong.
Many have jobs of power , many in stressful demanding occupations which cause them to seek to pass power to another in their private lives in order to relieve this stress.
Regardless of the reason for their subservience , to show them respect can never be wrong, to treat them respectfully does not make them porcelain dolls.
Yes subs vary in how they wish to be treated and each is valid for them, however there is no reason to assume that they do not deserve respect and abuse which is the subject here can never be justified or acceptable.
I sense that you associate respect as weakness where as it is in fact a strength of character.
We who are Doms or Masters take control of the lives of others which has to be a great responsibility but remember that the power is in fact in the hands of the submissive because unless she is treated in the way she finds acceptable she can walk away.
You , we only own a girl if she wishes us to.
You will have a different style of ownership than I and your sub will have different needs than others in fact there are as many forms of ownership and subservience as there are people in the life style for each will have varying needs and requirements which will apply to them alone ,however respect is deserved by all.
You remark that most subs are strong enough to take care of themselves and I agree that many have great strength and resolve however isn't it more the point that to be a sub she wishes to submit for, after all sub is an abbreviation of submissive, but submission has to be by consent and does not mean abuse or make abuse acceptable.

Evolved​(dom male) • Oct 13, 2018

I’m so happy for the responses

This has been weighing on my mind so much, subs and littles are such a rare treasure and to see that neglected or abused burns right to the heart of me.

Like I’ve told many, I’d rather have your submissions from love and respect and not from fear and degradation.

To all, remember those who give you everything, it’s only because you’ve earned it, not demanded it.

Peace and love all
NewAge

PappaBear • Oct 13, 2018

I think this is an issue which has had light shed on it and continues to need light shed on it if for no other reason than to help educate those who truly desire the lifestyle. Some subs needs are so powerful it blinds them to the dangers of predators and abusive red flags... How many times have we seen a brand new member with a collar on less than a day after opening an account. Every time it’s the same story... he’s already punishing her, having her send pics, we all know what this asshole is and that it can’t end well. The predators and abusers don’t waste any time. I keep a script ready to copy paste to any new sub I see. I talk about insta Doms, respect and trust, blah blah blah... yeah we all know and we all get tired of repeating it. Sure we can throw down our crops and say, “I haven’t got time for this crap. It’s not MY fault she doesn’t know any better!” But we need to make the time. Because as soon as we utter those words, it becomes our fault!

Besides, this is a community of like minded individuals. Yes, we each decide for ourselves. But you know damn well that we have the power to spread the knowledge. With just a little effort and that protective nature that burns in each Dom I know of. Even if it’s just to protect what is yours... This IS YOURS. This is your community. These beautiful perverts with all their baggage may understand you better than your own family. Isn’t that worth protecting? Even if all we get for all our collective efforts is to save just 1 from the wrong kind of pain?

The bottom line here is that each of us must choose. You choose to be a part of the solution or don’t. As for me... I don’t think it’s any secret I’m pretty good at mending broken fairy wings and Halos with words, but wouldn’t it be easier to keep them from being broken in the first place?

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 13, 2018

ok look like my comment was not understood or has been misinterpreted ! and I hate when people put wrong thoughts or words into my mouth, or even quote me !
I never said subs are not to be respected or not cared for? show me in my comments I said that!
Read my other forum comments and you wont find anything near that kind of mindset.

I should have said, stop talking in the name of the subs that way, they are adult, intelligent, strong enough to post that topic.

I do feel sorry for the ones who fall into that kind of fake dom but there are enough warning posts here and other forum too.

PappaBear • Oct 13, 2018

@ FabSeverus

I sense your last comment may not have been directed at me, but let me also set the record straight.

My comment was not brandished at anyone, least of all you... I get what you're saying and respect it. I wasn't trying to quote you if you go that impression. I was merely giving an example of a possible scenario in which ANY of us could find ourselves facing frustrating circumstances over and over.