Why do I cry?

Sensual City Girl{ForeverHIS} • Nov 9, 2018

I’ve had this happen a couple times. My Daddy knew exactly what it was and we talked about it. He even knows when it’s coming on for me and will assure me that it’s ok. It can be overwhelming, but as long as you’re provided good aftercare you’ll be fined

RopePrincess​(sub female) • Nov 9, 2018

Thank you for that link! Super helpful for sure and I’m feeling so much better about the whole thing.

ineedja​(switch female) • Nov 9, 2018

Make sure your Master is aware at all times of your highs and especially lows....if they are not responsive to your emotions....RUN ?

RopePrincess​(sub female) • Nov 9, 2018

Thank you! He’s been very attentive to that so I feel pretty lucky that way.

TreasureMe​(sub female){Consumed} • Nov 9, 2018

Professional Lady,

I think it could just very well be your body's reaction to all the endorphins.

I haven't been in the lifestyle long but the sessions I've had that were intense would make me cry after sometimes. But i would be happy and content.

I've had subdrop before as well and its a huge difference for me in comparison to the crying after a session. So i really just think that your body is experiencing alot during the session and the crying is the reaction/release of it. *shrugs*

RopePrincess​(sub female) • Nov 9, 2018

It makes sense to me. I feel better knowing it’s nothing unusual

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Nov 9, 2018

Important to note for this topic: be aware that any mood, pain, or mind altering substances / medications should be seriously evaluated before taking before or during scenes in which your mind and body will experience drastic fluctuations of chemicals these medications may be attempting to regulate. This just intuitively popped into my head, so not sure if someones' eyes needed to see it; I felt it should be shared. While I do not have experience with this, so cannot offer additional feedback, a professional with an understanding of BDSM practices would likely be helpful to seek if you have prescription medications you take for mental health or pain.

medications or not, I always recommend learning about the actual chemical / neuro processes involved in your lifestyle and your specific activities. You will have the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences when aware.

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Nov 9, 2018

(but yes, subdrop)

FunCouple{.-Couple-.} • Nov 10, 2018

Hello PL

This may help.
Not my words but taken from:- A Kinkster's Guide ( http://bdsm-sexperts.blogspot.com/2008/12/feeling-needy-after-scenes.html )

FC


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Feeling Needy After Scenes:

Many subs (and Doms, too!) feel needy, clingy, sensitive, or mopey after scenes. This can be due to subdrop or topdrop, or it can just be because of the vulnerable, strong emotions sex and BDSM bring out. How do you deal with it?

If it is due to topdrop/subdrop, it just means your partner feels needy and blue because the endorphin high is draining out of his system. The pain and adrenaline you provided him gave him a rush; now his body is coming out of the high. Just like coming off a light drug, there can be a real low for his body. The best thing to do is provide aftercare, and we've already written several posts about how to do that! (See the "aftercare" link on the right-hand side of the page under "Topics in this Blog" for more info.)

But as a sub, sometimes I feel needy and clingy after sex or BDSM, even when no endorphin high was involved. This is not a physical drop, but an emotional one. It is still difficult to feel.

Why?

Sex is highly emotional for both men and women. Your body starts pumping lots of chemicals into your blood stream, making you feel lots of great emotions. But this can also make you feel overwhelmed. Even when I like the feeling of sex, sometimes I have a strange desire to cry, weep, or just curl up in a ball and be sad. I usually fight these feelings, but my Dom is a very caring, understanding man and he encourages me to go ahead and cry if I need to. I haven't been able to yet, but I appreciate the offer.

I've done research on this, and this is normal for many women. There are many reasons this can happen. One is that sex and love just heighten the feelings you were already feeling. Another is that sex can be very emotional and vulnerable, and BDSM often requires that I tap into my deepest emotions, hidden sad places, and darkest past secrets to bring sub energy to the scene. This is great, but also very overwhelming and sad for me. Another reason is that many women feel like crying, laughing, or screaming during sex, because sex is emotional. BDSM brings out an emotional response in people! Sometimes the emotional response doesn't make sense, but it is still what you are feeling. Sex can be especially emotional for women if their G-spot or deep within their vagina/cervix is being stimulated. This can bring along a very powerful, emotional orgasm because it seems to tap into a woman's core. And of course some of the things hidden at a woman's core deserve to be laughed about, celebrated, cried over, worried about, or talked over once they finally come to light again! We keep our strongest fears, joys, and feelings there, and if sex brings them out, expect a strong emotional response! If you are a man, the best thing you can do for your partner is to share this emotional response with her; whatever she is feeling, you will help her by feeling it with her, too.

One of the sweetest stories I heard was of a man who helped a suffering woman heal by experiencing her emotions with her. As he stimulated her G-spot, she began to experience strong emotions. She started to cry, and he felt sad with her. They mourned together; the man said that whatever she was feeling, he mirrored back to her so she knew she was not going through this alone. Later, when she started to get angry and roar loudly, he got aggressive and angry-sounding right back, roaring with her. And when she finally collapsed, crying and happy, he held her and rejoiced right along with her.

For those of us with issues of rape, abuse, self-esteem issues, depression, mental or emotional disorders, broken homes, or past hurts, sex and BDSM can often tap right into those deep emotional wells. I think this is, in part, why we are so drawn to BDSM! Here is a safe, structured way to play with our pasts, re-explore history, and perhaps mourn the loss of innocence or re-write the story with our own rules this time around. It doeCheck Spellingsn't matter if you want to re-do the scene on your own terms this time, or simply re-visit old wounds to give yourself time to mourn them and heal; BDSM and a loving partner can help you achieve this!

Whatever the reasons that BDSM makes us feel clingy, I know it is a common feeling. Often after any sexual experience, I feel needy and clingy for my Dom. I suddenly worry that I am a disappointment and worry needlessly that he is not happy, relaxed, satisfied, or happy with the experience. I go from a confident, sexy woman to a clingy girl in need of reassurance. In this mood, I need lots of physical affection, compliments, and words of affirmation. I tend to get really whiny, asking, "Did you like it? Are you sure? Are you sure???? You don't really think I'm a whore, do you?" quite plaintively. Even if I was enjoying the wild sex and emotional humilation 30 seconds before, now I need to be held and comforted.

In this mood, teasing, seeming dissatisfied, or continuing to play the Dom will devastate me. I feel super sensitive and emotional, and if he keeps calling me dirty or belittling me like he was in the scene, I start to cry. He has to be very careful because it can be hard for him to know when I make the emotional switch from "in scene" to "out of scene."

The best thing for me in this mood is to be close to my Dom; I don't want to be away from him. I need him to hold me, often cradling my head, and the more body contact we can get, the better! I need him to switch from the mean, sexy torturer to the nurturer. He usually rubs my head, tells me how good I am, reiterates tirelessly how much he enjoyed the scene and me, and keeps answering my repetitive questions as long as I need him to.

Other women say things they like during this time are physical contact, affection, compliments, and reassurance. Some don't want to talk, but simply be held or allowed to curl up at his feet. Some need to be cuddled or pampered by their Doms. You Doms are sometimes really good at playing the mean, nasty rapist, and while we love it, when we're done we need reassurance that you are still the same good, loving man who loves us as before. We want to know we're not a disappointment, we're not really dirty or slutty, and you are happy with our performance. We are subs because we like to please. Please reassure us that you are happy with us, with you, with the sex, with the scene, and with the world.

Tapping into all those scary, forbidden emotions for you is a rush, but can be quite demanding and taxing, and we need lots of TLC afterward. I know when I feel clingy and sad after a scene, I feel like I'm a failure and the whole world has gone wrong. The best thing my Dom can do for me in these moods is hold me, reassure me, and keep telling me, "All is right in the world, babe. The world is an okay place. Everything is fine, everyone is fine, the world is fine and you are safe. All is right in the world."

KittySunflower​(sub female) • Nov 10, 2018

No fear. I actually just read an article about this.
It's not always a bad thing if your crying is tired into happiness.
Some people do cry when they laugh too much.
I think this is what's happening.
No one every knows why they are crying when they are happy but it happens.
But...
It also could be a hidden fear. The fear that things are so good right now that you would cry if they weren't.

Hope that helps.