Long distance Dom/sub needs advice on keeping the fires going

justwatching • Nov 19, 2019

Daily phone time (calls and/or FaceTime/Skype/some type of way to see their face) is important to keep the fire ? going.
Make a schedule where you two have at least 1 hour of communication through the above means ^^^ at least once a day. She could type her weekly schedule on let’s say google calendar. Google calendar let’s you view it and edit when it’s “shared”. When you edit it, she would get a notification and she could see what you added into her schedule. You could add “phone time 6pm-7pm” and then she would anticipate your call at that time. This way you know what her life looks like and you can control it from afar ?. Of course life gets in the way; kids, job, health issues, family business, could alter or not allow for that call to happen from 6-7pm. Just be clear to her about what’s going on in your vanilla life and vice versa.
My Dom and I have an awesome relationship despite 1) a 3hr time difference 2) he works a lot 3) I’m at uni and working. If both of you want it, both of you will work for it. LDR’s are not easy but worth the extra work (at least for me it is).
A random side note...sending naughty pics to each other throughout the day helps put a smile on each other’s faces.

Just suggestions.

R

almostpeachy​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2019

I know that I could not do a LDR. I crave touch. It's my love language. Something I absolutely need in a relationship and I'll never feel content without it. That being said I did find a Dom I really really considered changing for. He was everything I wanted but lived 7.5 hours away. He said we'd meet "in time" if everything went well. I ended up leaving that because I didn't think it would ever progress past the internet.

KingDom​(dom male) • Nov 20, 2019

If both open to it consider being poly to allow her to have a play partner. Or she can attend munches to socialize with other subs and potentially find a cuddle buddy or sister sub for emotional and/or physical support.

Also consider her situation, she is giving to you, she is giving at work, she is giving to her kids - so she probably doesn’t have much time to give to herself. Although there are people who enjoy giving it can be exhausting as depletes energy and as far as emotionally and physically, is she doesn’t have enough externally giving back to her then her general happiness will wane and she can either become a flight risk or get depressed. This is in part why I’d consider her having in-person emotional, mental, physical, sexual or even spiritual support from 1-2 more people (perhaps from the community as vanilla friends/family wouldn’t fully understand).