"rules"

Samsea​(dom male) • Feb 27, 2020

Only ONE RULE, that is an agreement between the two parties.
End of argument

Sam

DrKrall • Mar 18, 2020

I must admit I think it's cute when a young girl adresses me as Sir, but if she calls me Master I politely tell her I'm not her master.
Also to me a Dom does not allways equal a Master. I think it's a bit silly when You see all these people calling themselves Master yet don't have at least one sub. I try to respect other peoples rules and act as polite as I can. I allways talk to the Dom/Domme before adressing someone elses sub if I don't allready know them, but I don't treat someone elses sub as if he/she was mine (again unless I know them and know it's OK with them).
I have told my previous subs to follow procol in public but tell me at once if somebody tries to boss them around.

At a party once my sub and a friend of hers were joking between themselves and this "ÜberMaster" who didn't know either of them overheard them, claimed she had a foul mouth and told her she needed a good spanking. This pissed her of and she yelled at him on the top of her lungs "You are not my Dominant. My Dominant is over there" pointing at me sitting at the bar. The room fell silent and everyone was looking at them for a while. He came over to me fuming with anger and told me "You should spank her really hard!". I responded "How about I spank You really hard?". He left the party and wouldn't talk to me after this. The way I see it he was the one who was out of line, not she. To me everyone is equal unless they are in a relationship with me or someone I know well.

MeisterGerald​(dom male) • Mar 18, 2020

"MasterBear wrote:
The capital/lower case is not old guard. Its gorean."

Thanks for that clarification. Leather OG had protocols, but their purpose was mostly to find, identify and communicate with each other secretly but openly in a homophobic society where sodomy, homosexuality, and bondage were highly illegal and disapproved of. Still true to this day in some places, which is why seeing "nothing illegal' in a limit list makes me chuckle and shake my head.

I'll add that gorean stuff has been around since the 70's, and was always popular with the D&D crowd, who migrated it online with MMORPG's (Ultima, RuneScape, Everquest, World of Warcraft, Second Life, etc.)

It's roleplaying (with BDSM elements when taken to the relationship level) and it appeals to the traditional patriarchal mindset.

Its practitioners tend to stand out online because of all the rules and structure. This stands out to people new to and exploring kink who are looking to fit in. It fits the common public stereotypes of what a Dom and sub 'should' be like. New people want to believe in that, and often fail to understand or accept that BDSM is just ordinary people with certain sexual proclivities and preferences.

It also appeals to those who are insecure or unable to communicate and negotiate on their own, especially with women. If they can't talk, they can't argue back.

It's adherents and supporters often make the false assumption that more rules, protocol and living something 24/7 means a superior or more "serious" way to practice BDSM.

It's not and never was. It's a niche, and one that blurs the line between BDSM and fantasy role play.

Are there cool, reasonable goreans that don't insist it's true way? Yes. In my experience, they're FAR outnumbered by the ones that insist that the rigid patriarchal structure is "The way God and nature intended it to be."

AngelBunny • Mar 18, 2020

"Similarly, I do not refer to others with titles like Baby, Babe, Squish, etc. that signify a familiarity to which I am not entitled."

Thank you for mentioning this! I have had some people call me Darling, Kitten, Baby, etc and it has made me pause because I barely knew them and I didn't tell them it was my preference. I get suspicious they are hoping I'll become senseless over being called something cute but it has the opposite effect. I'm totally happy being called Angel Bunny.