Covid 19 - am I over thinking things?

GoddessAaliyah​(switch female) • Apr 26, 2020

I understand the body image issues. It is tough to get around the external, but speaking from experience, When i started doing little things that made me feel better about myself (kind of like dating myself) it started opening my mind to more positive outlets and making healthier decisions. I started to see myself as worth it, causing a chain reaction with people around me in a good way. Inside start with something simple (it’s going to sound stupid. But it worked for me). It’s a mantra I say to myself everyday “I’m a Boss Bitch, my body is rock’n no matter how I look, I’m so fly that people can’t help, but to respect me “.

You can tailor your own mantra any way you would like. Then I play music in the morning to make me feel like a Boss. Besides if lizzo can be be so gorgeous and confident, so can all of us.

Sir'sGoodGirl​(sub female){Not Lookin} • Apr 26, 2020

I always say to myself when i need a little uplift about myself ''the bigger, the better!'' simple but it does help me and if i need a little more i do the same as you. i belt my music out loud and just have a dance around my house specially if im cooking i just let loose. sometimes doing the odd tiktok dance with my eldest. it does cheer me up.

sometimes its the simplest things!!

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • Apr 26, 2020

Maybe the lockdown isn't agreeing with him and he's stepping back a little to hide that seeing it as a weakness? Talk to him..you could chat here for a hundred years and get all sorts of advice..but it's him that you need to communicate with

Sir'sGoodGirl​(sub female){Not Lookin} • Apr 26, 2020

I have sent him the link to this thread so that he can have a read of my original post as it pretty much explains everything I’m feeling and fearing. I’m just awaiting his reply. He has agreed to read it

Bunnie • Apr 27, 2020

I am glad to read your last response here. I was kind of giggling at the irony of you wanting more communication from him but being fearful of communicating that to him. I laugh at the situation... not you... I do much the same thing lol.

It’s so difficult sometimes to get over that hump of putting ourselves out there with our fears. Especially because past experiences have told us that more often than not we are rejected when we do. The strength that we gain comes from learning to feel those fears and going to him anyway. How he responds determines whether we begin to feel safer doing that or not. But we need to put the work in too so that it can all occur together... building that foundation we so often speak of.

I hope this makes sense, and I wish for you both a beautiful journey together

Wolfwhip​(dom male) • Apr 27, 2020

No need to mess around. I'd suggest telling him exactly how you feel and keeping things clear with no ambiguity. Don't make it a big deal per say, just mention your concerns about what seems to be less communication and ask for more communication. Ask if he's busy or what else is going on. You likely are overthinking it a bit but why not just ask him exactly what's going on and calmly explain your concerns. Whatever will make you feel better, really.

Sir'sGoodGirl​(sub female){Not Lookin} • Apr 27, 2020

Exactly Bunnie my past experiences have never resulted in anything good. I think it’s happened once again. I haven’t heard from him since he said he would read it. His responses are getting pretty much non existent. I possibly have to realise and come to terms that I have lost him. Yes it hurts. The realisation of losing this perfect dynamic hurts!

I have decided to back off and leave him be.
I’ve tried communicating. There is nothing more I can do. I don’t understand how I have offended him so much.

i have to try and be strong.....it’s not working very well I will admit. Suppose it was just another fantasy which will never become a reality.

Story of my life....never mind!

annabellestasia​(sub female) • May 9, 2020

This is a super difficult time for everyone and it’s testing of even the most secure of people, so please don’t beat yourself up for what you think is “insecurity”. We all need a little extra reassurance right now!

However, I have to be honest that something about this doesn’t sit right with me... I firstly think a woman’s “gut” feeling is never wrong. If you feel he’s showing less intensity with you, he is. What is his home situation? Has he got his hands full at home? Have you told him directly how you feel and what was his response?

In today’s connected world, not checking in for multiple days without a cataclysmic reason why, is odd.

LordofPain56 • May 11, 2020

In the past, I worked at a few just barely off-the-ground startup places in which the only guy who was qualified to handle my expertise was me and it was crazy busy so much that personal phone-calls couldn't be tolerated (plus there was travelling too, but rarely longer than overnight, which was good). Anyway, my girl wanted to call the office morning, noon and afternoon like this was some kind of picnic or something. So, one day, I took her with me to be at my desk the whole day while I worked to show her what it was like there. Ha! she never said another word about it.
It was written in the rulebook also, that she could not call the office, but could have me anytime I am at home, unless I am doing something in the garage where she was forbidden to be present (such as when I was arc-welding or hoisting something heavy on the block-and-tackle). And she had agreed to it. It was also known to her that I came straight home from work every night because she knew what time work got out.
Later on I found out that she had dilusions of paranoia and believed that I was cheating on her at work (even after she had personally witnessed what I went through there on a daily basis). She left. I raised my hands to heaven asking the Lord what more I could have done.

MasterBear​(other butch) • May 11, 2020

OMG!!

SO NORMAL!!

Isolation does a lot of weird things to thoughts. So what you're going through is completely normal as far as I'm concerned.