TheTearMiser(sadist male)
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7 years ago •
Oct 4, 2017
FabSeverus wrote: No youngster should be called Dom, not until they had a life anyway.. so I guess under 40 are not entitled to be called or be a Dom.
They are just abuser.... Wow just wow this is ignorance all tbe way to the core. I am not an abuser. I am a dom. I am a sadist. I knoe the differance between abuse and SSC. I know the diffance between choosing the lifestyle and beating the shit out of someone mentally and physicaly. So how about before u judge an entire group of ppl u take a second to realise that u just might be wrong |
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Online now
Taramafor(sub male)
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7 years ago •
Oct 7, 2017
Quote: As already told, we, in italy, use a different meaning.
A Dom can declare himself as such. I can walk in and say "I'm a Dom.". Noone will argue on it. Then, a Dom who do something get a title: Master if he owns a slave, Daddy if he own a little, ecc.... People take the labels and apply their own context. Doesn't matter where in the wold it is. An "owner" can have a "slave". A "little" can have a "master". It is not yours, or a nations decision to make. Personally I get called useless and pup. Along with dog. It's the "context" of what these mean that is important. How many people do that in the UK, huh? Quote: No youngster should be called Dom, not until they had a life anyway
A lot of older people can go through life and experience little. As such they make for poor doms to not exploring the area enough. A lot go younger people can grow up quickly by going through a lot. regardless it's NOT your decision to make. I decide for me. My doms decide for themselves. Maybe a dom decides what I can do or force me into things but they don't decide what I need or what I "should" do or not (Punishment and incentive aren't trying to decide for me. It's encouraging me to change which may or may not happen). I've been with some amazing doms that aren't even 25 yet. I'm talking "Cruel yet caring". Yet also cautious of course. The kind people only think is a fantasy. Imagine how they'll be in 10 years. O.O |
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| ramifa1975(sub male) |
7 years ago •
Oct 18, 2017
Re: Protocol for being titled... SisterSarah wrote: I am curious to know what the protocol is for being titled a Dom. There are several young people that claim that they are a Dom. Is there any training involved by an experienced Dom? And what are some characteristics that one can look for to be able to know the wannabe's and the real thing?
Dear Sister The best coach for a Dom/Domme is the sub himself The more a sub shows submission, the more a Dom/Domme gets more Dominant, the inverse is true, this dynamic continues until they both reach the level of D/s where they fit and from this point, their relationship becomes stable. |
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MsNevermore(other female)
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7 years ago •
Oct 31, 2017
Will tread lightly as this is my first response to anything on this site. In my most humble opinion (everyone has one of course). Anyone can claim the title of Dom/me now a days and no one will raise an eyebrow. That was not always the case. But I digress: A title is just that a title. I can say I have the title of the Queen of England. But in reality and in acceptance many will laugh me out of the room.
It is much the same way in the lifestyle. Harder when its the online atmosphere but there are some key things I look for when speaking with a potential or self titled Dom/me. How long have they been in the lifestyle. If they say they are new or they read a few books.... From what do they base their idea of what a Dom/me is? Do they or have they mentored under anyone? Do they have any references? Personally I wouldn't consider anyone under the age of at least 28, unless they were raised in a lifestyle home, OR have references to just accept a title of Dom/me. Now before I get flamed: I do know and respect those who are in a D/S relationship who do not meet the above criteria. Know that there is no one "true" definition of a Dominant just as there is no one definition of submissive, slave, etc. So to wrap up: take titles with a grain of salt. Get to know the person regardless of the title. Actions/words speak clearer than a title ever will. |
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Villanelle(staff)
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7 years ago •
Oct 31, 2017
There are communities that exist online and off in which you have to earn the title of "master" (which is gender neutral). These are usually Old Guard communities in which dominants are expected to "earn their leathers" and come up through the ranks. This includes spending time as a submissive. But of course, that's not the way all of us practice D/s.
As a female dominant I expect my submissives to address me in a particular way, which is a privilege they have earned. In femdom or formal BDSM settings, rules vary, but I expect my and other submissives to follow those rules. If titles are required, I'll give them one to use. I would never expect another dominant, submissive, or anyone else to address me with a title outside of those spaces. And I won't use titles for anyone else either unless I deem it appropriate or they have a doctorate or master's degree and we are in a professional setting. Titles are to reinforce the dynamic in a D/s situation or relationship. They aren't for self aggrandizement. They are subjective, self labels that have no relevance to me and guarantee no respect. That's not to say I won't respect you if you happen to call yourself this title or that, it just doesn't make any difference. Fyi, if you want a brief intro to Old and New Guard check out one of our member's posts on the topic here: https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=12297 |
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