Policing inappropriate messages

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Nov 10, 2020

Honestly, it does get taken care of. Doms often don't know it, but the subs in this community talk. Big time. There are lists floating around and if a new sub chooses to vet a potential Dom by speaking to those here who have been around for a while, they'll get some good information. We know who the predators are and will tell you if asked.

Truthfully, the messages from guys who learned all they know about BDSM from porn aren't the big issue because they out themselves immediately and are told off in no uncertain terms. Staff has even created a function to make it easier by turning off messages or messages from non premium members. Chat is always open to ask questions or you can look at blogs, see who knows what they're talking about, and ask them. If we don't know about someone, we will ask around or check a profile for red flags. What I refer to as the SubNet is real and easy to tap into.

Villanelle​(staff) • Nov 10, 2020

Thanks Jay - we really do appreciate your support and concern.

It's the internet, or you know, life. There are idiots and jerks out there, although this can be subjective. Just because you find someone tedious or unwelcome doesn't mean others agree.

We have mute and block features and a community moderation system to confidentially report members who violate the rules. If someone is truly abusive or harasses another member, we will deal with it, keeping in mind our reach extends as far as THE CAGE. So be careful who you choose to share RL and outside contact info with.

The best way to improve moderation is for as many members to be involved as possible. If you receive a message that you believe violates our rules or that is abusive in some way, report it. You help others when you do this and make the community better as a whole.

Talking generally about how to be safe, how to recognize red flags, and issues like consent also help so please do feel free to discuss these things in our Forum or the blogs as many often do.

We are very active with site moderation. I appreciate not everyone appreciates or understands every decision, but I promise you we are "on it" and doing our best to be fair and keep the community safe.

Let's keep talking! But public pillory - no. Only in your fantasies

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Nov 10, 2020

While i agree with the intent and desire behind DomJay and Zerospace's ideas, i lean more towards Sasa and Villanelle on this one. For me the fear would not be people like DomJay or Zerospace becoming abusive police, but that once a police force is set up, there are going to be abusive police... then we need a system or way to deal with them.

Since this is online, i think the system in place is pretty good. IRL a victim cannot just push a button and block or mute an offensive person, but they have that empowerment here. That helps. i get fairly frequent insta dommes in my email, but they are so obvious to me they have not read my profile, that they are like flicking a speck out of the way. A minor annoyance. More than half the time i open one of those emails and the moderators have already vanquished them (i'm not against a little rescuing lol).
On forums, if i perceive someone as unengageable, i do not try. There is one person here who, to me, has something offensive to say about everyone and everything, so i just cross to the other side of the virtual road and keep walking. i guess that is one advantage i find about online vs IRL, that i can do that with no real effort.

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 10, 2020

As said above, the internet is full of idiots emboldened by the shield of anonymity. They have a reporting system here. I have never had to report anyone because the block feature is highly effective. But one must always bear in mind, if they ban someone for unacceptable content, the determined troll will simply open a new account. I doubt a premium one but still, you can only stamp on so many ants and catch so many mice in your house but you cannot realistically get rid of them all.

Hiring a troll exterminator is rather beyond the pale so we just have to deal with it. It's part and parcel to participating in a social media outlet such as this.

Offensive message? Delete it. Scary? report it before deleting, but also when shitty words pop up, stop reading the message and take the aforementioned remedial action.

Over-policing a site such as this will inevitably lead to the "snowflake" effect. A nanny system. We are adults, we ought to know that in the proverbial shit house of life there be assholes.

DomJayy​(dom male) • Nov 10, 2020

I think for the record no one was suggesting a troll police force or anything haha

My suggestion was just a forum or space for those who have received said messages to put for those to see and be able to stay away from etc

But so many good points so far in here and we all agree the Internet has some very idiotic people 😂

Zerospace​(dom male){Amalthea} • Nov 10, 2020

No, Jayy, I think my comments could easily be construed as a Troll Police Force. That wasn't what I was going for but clearly I am not good at communicating today. I'm going to blame it on PTSD from current events.

I'm going to be quiet now and let better minds handle this. Maybe the community support exists right now and I'm not giving it enough credit. Sorry.

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 11, 2020

You said nothing wrong, and such things have been suggested on other sites bewitched with trollery. In effect the admins or mods "police" the posts at least the public ones and those who post horseshit get corrective action. PMs are a different animal altogether although those can be reported if someone really goes off the reservation.

ElizaEmma​(sub female){NotLooking} • Nov 11, 2020

Interesting that two male doms are complaining about subs being "bullied" when the subs are telling them we are smart and strong enough to report and delete.

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 11, 2020

I prefer they not be painted with a broad brush. Not all doms have hairy knuckles that they drag on the ground as they hulk along a given sidewalk. Perhaps those two genuinely are unhappy with how some subs are treated and want to speak out.

Doms I knew in real life have mended their ways after their subs all ran away, so they eventually learn and grow... Just like people!!!!

0_0

IowaDom​(dom male) • Nov 11, 2020

Censorship and BDSM are definitely not good bedfellows. But just thinkin Villa .... "welcome to the cage" is a good thing to intro yourself here, but ... playing devils advocate here, it's also a dinner bell to people we're talking about. But ya know what might just be a good thing? rename "Teacher's Pet" to: "Novices and Newbies" so it's large and in charge, more obvious for new peeps, and use something like "A place for advice and support from the community" as the subtitle