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Can you be a sub and still be a feminist?

tallslenderguy​(other male)
3 years ago • Dec 22, 2020

Re: Can you be a sub and still be a feminist?

drunkpenguin wrote:
How do you indulge your submissive side while also maintaining your own sense of power and independence? What would a D/s relationship look like if that dynamic didn’t apply 24/7? All advice is greatly appreciated icon_smile.gif


i love this question, thank you for asking it.

i think this has a yes or no answer, i.e., that it depends on the individual. i also see the answer/s as being fluid vs static. i see submission as an ongoing gesture, not a one time decision. my own submissive side has all sorts of doors (kinks) that a Dom has to unlock and open to surface my submission, so submission for me is not an all or nothing one time proposition.

i see feminism as being about equality at it core? And i think that is a tricky proposition , because i think a lot of the factors that deny equality to a woman are often unconscious, on both sides. So to me, the D/s part of a relationship, would have to have a fluidity that accommodates new discoveries and insights. Todays submission might constituted abuse tomorrow, and vice versa?

i think it's possible to be a sub feminist (equal?) but i think both parties in the relationship would have to want it and pursue it as a vital part of the relationship.
poppyclaire​(sub female)
3 years ago • Dec 24, 2020
poppyclaire​(sub female) • Dec 24, 2020
I agree with what most everyone here has said, you can definitely be both. I get that it feels like you're doing yourself a disservice as a feminist by being submissive especially with how judgey people can get about it.

But embracing my sexuality through submission despite all the judgement and pressure to conform to some cookie cutter definition of what a good strong acceptable woman is, is one of the most feminist things I've ever done.
wildbabe
3 years ago • Dec 24, 2020
wildbabe • Dec 24, 2020
YES!

Submission is a choice and it is in your power as a submissive who you submit to or don't. What is not feminist about that?
Miki​(masochist female)
3 years ago • Dec 25, 2020
Miki​(masochist female) • Dec 25, 2020
Finally an easy one I can answer, if only speaking for myself.

I am no feminist, but I maintain my independence by not being a "full time" sub. Not to say one cannot be a full time sub and still consider themselves a "feminist", but for me, I'm only a sexual masochist. I'm subjugated, subdued, punished when with someone of like mind but at the end I dress up, pick up my toys, so to speak, and go home to my independent life.