Labels in relationships.

yourbootsownme​(sub male) • Mar 11, 2021

You can't control how people react. You can only control what you do and say. Assuming the person interested in you approaches respectfully, your only real obligation is to be honest and respectful in return. And if they get hurt feelings or misconceptions after that, you can't control it.

I guess a good response would be something along the lines of "I'm not currently interested in pursuing anything new right now."

And if you especially like the person, you could always add "..but if that changes I'll let you know."

Tthomas • Mar 11, 2021

Now I am confused.

In her post emmmllliiininenine states that she likes someone.
She said the guy she likes does not believe in labels.

Dating, relationship, dynamic, seeing, meeting, sexting or considering are never mentioned.

I think maybe she is just a nice person and does not want to lie.

My advice is that you can be married, pregnant, in jail and going through a sex change and they
would think it’s just about them.
Do not worry about them. You will never make everyone happy.

I see you changed your profile. Good start.

Jack of all doms​(dom male) • Mar 11, 2021

Hello,

I don't think it matters what the person you're seeing thinks since they are not the ones that have to deal with people who are looking at your profile.

However, if you wish to respect this person's wishes regarding not using labels on your relationship, there is no reason you need to reference your relationship at all in your profile or when talking to other prospective partners, you simply say you're not looking to get involved with anyone or date because you do not wish to at the present time. Anything else you don't wish to say falls into the category of none of their business.

You're an adult and owe no one an explanation about your choices in life. Anyone who takes others decisions as being all about them needs to learn that they are not the center of anyone's world but their own. Everyone here has a life that, unless you're intimately involved in that life, will involve many things you will likely never know about.

-X

Big Tex • Mar 12, 2021

How about...”Out of circulation...”?

poppyclaire​(sub female) • Mar 12, 2021

I just say I'm not looking for a Dom or relationship as the case may be at this time.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Mar 12, 2021

Tthomas - "Now I am confused."
"In her post emmmllliiininenine states that she likes someone.
She said the guy she likes does not believe in labels.emmmllliiininenine​(sub female)"
..............

Well, now I am confused too. I took her post below to be about those who keep pestering her to go out when she is already interested in someone else. That she didn't know how to tell those other guys no.

As far as the new guy not wanting to label their relationship? Sounds like he wants to keep his options open. Maybe that is a young thing. I've heard it from a coworker, but as for me? I'd pass on him.

.... original post below
Labels in relationships.
Hello all,
I have been getting a lot of men who are men i went on dates with in the past or just from talking to that want to go out or date me. I try and explain that im single but i like someone. Many men just take that as I don’t like ‘them’ and thats not the case. The guy i like doesnt like labels and i dont want to lie and say im dating someone but also i dont want to explain that its not them. What should i say to those men? Would saying im “taken” be a lie? I think that would make it easier but also idk if its entirely true since im single.

Re: Labels in relationships.

Boetius​(dom male) • Mar 12, 2021

To say that you are "taken" is not a lie since at the very least you are "taken" by yourself. When women are not available, I prefer they have clear, off-limit signs. It's none of my business whether it's true or not.

Kelpi • Mar 12, 2021

I would think not looking should be enough. If they can't take the hint you don't want their advances then they arre the problem and need to grow up.

Susie Q{Daddy Ant} • Mar 13, 2021

i SO agree with Subtlehush, and Miss Bonnie.

You need to remember that YOU are important. What do YOU want? How do YOU feel? P/people tend to push T/their feelings on to O/others. You are under no obligation to explain yourself to anyone. Labels tend to limit but they also define. It’s a fine line. Take a deep breath and do what makes you feel right in and if yourself.

PS Saying you’re seeing someone is an easy out. Not A/anyone’s business what that may mean.

ElizaEmma​(sub female){NotLooking} • Mar 13, 2021

Unfortunately whatever you put down as a "label", there will be those who either cannot read, or believe they are so special that they can ignore your "no".

Most of the Doms who approach me here fall under three categories:

1. When I tell them I am not looking and only would engage in some sort of communication on a "just friends" basis, they politely go away. Those are the decent ones.
2. Some Doms pretend they are OK with "just friends", but in reality they want more, and keep asking for inappropriate things in the conversation. At least they will finally go away when I repeat "NO".
3. Some Doms keep ignoring being told "this is not going to work" and become indignant and start attacking me. Those get blocked.

Back to the OP, no matter what you do, there will always be idiots out there who get upset with you. Just ignore them. You don't owe them any explanation.