Encouraging my Dom

Miki​(masochist female) • Apr 19, 2021

First, welcome to the forums. I try and encourage newer people on the "Introduce Yourself" page on the occasions I pop in to say "Hi!" as a longer term member-- to feel free and dive into the forums. Speak your Mind; Find your Voice.

Now then, for what it's worth from a decidedly non-dominant, you're doing all the right things. Hint around... Show the various things you'd like to be used on you, yet not pushing too hard.

The only "fake doms" are the ones out on a power trip or doing those things solely to get their rocks off but not considering the thoughts, needs, and wishes (let alone limits) of the sub half of the deal.

Sounds like your guy will be fine. These things take a bit of time. And you already know pushing too hard and sounding demanding could kill the arrangement.

L a r s​(dom male) • Apr 19, 2021

Just my two cents, which I don't believe anyone else has touched on much.
Him having second thoughts about his dom skills is a GOOD thing. Obviously it leaves room for growth, but you won't need to course correct.

I bet you picked up in that care, and sensitivity in him that led to those doubts. As in all things, the best policy is honesty. If he has suspiciins that you're sugar coating something, he will just get more anxious, and worse, you could reinforce bad behavior.
If you're honest, even about what does not work, eventually he will have a concrete set of boundaries, which will help him feel more secure, and confident.

Lots of folks don't talk about safety and boundaries from the dom perspective, but it absolutely is important. You seem to have an intuitive grasp on that, and I have confidence that you and yo' man will have a thriving dynamic in time.
Good luck, and have fun