The Art of Introductions

October​(sub female) • Aug 24, 2021

Hi,
I only joined the site 4 days ago. And ive met a lot of great people . That being said I have had a few Doms message me with things like "I'm a Dom needing a Sub can you send me some pictures"
Get what you mean. Quite a turn off when first message is, show me pictures .

Redfoxmask​(dom male) • Aug 25, 2021

unfortunately, that happens here more times than not. sorry that happened to you but there are much better real Doms here and better people than some of those others. just keep faith that things will be better

Valore • Aug 25, 2021

I too joined about a week ago. I might be your senior by a couple days.... and hopefully by sheer number of bad experiences. I have been through the wringer so to speak. The scene is new to me as well, but I'm developing a better base now as before I had almost no one. If u want to exchange advice somewhere learn a bit together and be friends im up for it. Someone to lend an ear as well if u need. I never judge and enjoy helping anywhere i can.

It's good that u reached out on forums for information too. Many here are good, unfortunately just as many if not more are bad lol.

I 100% recommend sageflames posts.

Valore • Aug 25, 2021

As an additional thought... visuals are also important for a profile.
Knowing how a person presents themselves and takes care of themselves or their environment, can be portrayed in pics as well as provide a base to go by and find out what type of person they are. A profile pic can also help you determine if they are real not just literally, but to match other photos to when sent if you decide to pursue the person further.
...however, if you want respect or decency, then you must also be willing to exude that yourself.. most of the time anyway.

E (Valore)

MidKnightSun​(dom male) • Aug 25, 2021

I've gotten the same kind of messages. Its the nature of the business of posting body pics it comes with the territory

Miki​(masochist female) • Aug 25, 2021

Even without bod pics, the come ons come with the territory. That's not to say "It's All Good". This may be a "sexual website" but it's not a meat-market. When a profile says "Not Looking" or something to that effect,

"Get the Message, Studley, Friendly Chatter Only."

I_am_the_Sea​(sub male){One Day} • Aug 25, 2021

The original poster was right about one thing, though, the act of introduction IS an art. As such should be approached with subtlety, grace, thoughtfulness and tact.

If you are sending a message for the first time, make sure it contains all four of the above virtues.

My biggest failure with the art is recognizing when to move the conversation to more serious levels so as not to fall into the friend zone with the one I am talking to. Don't get me wrong, for some friendship is fine and all I am seeking, it's just for others I rarely seem to be able to strike when the iron is hot.

Like the original poster stated... There is an art to it. One where one only gets better through practice of the craft.
~I_am_the_Sea

cherilynn​(sub female) • Aug 27, 2021

The funniest ( and cringeworthy) message I ever received went like this,

" Hi. My name is Roger. Would you like a good rogering?"

Men will be men. They are visual and you are giving them something beautiful to look at. That is totally not an excuse for bad, boorish behavior and I know it gets tiring but the only behavior we can change is our own.

If your pics are working for you, great. If not, maybe time to change the pics.

Miki​(masochist female) • Aug 27, 2021

There are lots of decent dominants in here, but also with the territory in an "adult oriented" site like this, you get a few tools who write and ask for a photo right off the bat...Those are what I call "The Fart of Introductions". It stinks when that happens.

Perseverence is key. Some get scared off by the dregs and that is unfortunate.

If someone rubs you the wrong way, tell 'em to go pound sand and hang in there for better contacts.

Horror Business​(dom male) • Aug 27, 2021

Mostly agreed, but I'd say physique matters as much as mind, character, personality (along with how well respective kinks are). Any one of those could be a no-go for me.

That said...



This could be solid advice. Taking your pic down is likely to reduce the number of messages you get overall, but it should certainly help to greatly reduce the trash.