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In the bedroom Vs Everyday life

Sasa​(dom female)
3 years ago • Oct 23, 2021
Sasa​(dom female) • Oct 23, 2021
Lol, is this a disguised advertise or truly a question? Be what you want to be
dollMaker​(dom male)
3 years ago • Oct 23, 2021
dollMaker​(dom male) • Oct 23, 2021
DarkNight​ said

'However, a sub who serves outside of the bedroom can also be a slave, depending on the degree of exchange.'

A sub is not a slave, some subs can have slave tendencies but they are two separate and very distinct things. There are massive differences between a sub, and a slave.

DarkNight​ also said

'That being said, you are not confused at all. SubtleHush made a good point - taking the title of “Bottom” communicates a less submissive posture. As a bottom, only you decide when and where you intend to submit.'

Rolls eyes, seriously!!! A sub gets to decide when and where they submit, as does a bottom, as does a fetishist or whatever someone identifies as. Your statement suggests that at some point subs don't get to decide when they submit. Hate to say it, but that is so wrong, and so messed up its good of you to display your ignorance and red flags in the open.

Submission is always reversible, there are never any exceptions to this. A submissive, and even a slave always gets to decide when and where and how they submit, exchange their power and agency, and that is always, should always be something they can take back. Anyone who says they don't, can't, in my view, is dangerous and should be best avoided.
Miki​(masochist female)
3 years ago • Oct 24, 2021

Re: In the bedroom Vs Everyday life

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 24, 2021
megancholy wrote:
Hey everyone! I am trying to figure out if I am some sort of strange entity or why people seem confused by who I am…

As my profile states, I am only a sub in the bedroom. As far as every day life, I am very dominant. I am often described as intimidating. In the bedroom however, I relinquish control completely and love to be used and abused. Psychologically, this makes perfect sense, as every control freak like me needs a release…a time to not be the one dictating things. Am I flawed in my thought process?

I ask because it seems to be a baffling concept to most. I have it blatantly stated on any site I’m on, and yet, daily I have someone trying to degrade me within their first two messages to me (hey there pig slut or the like). Just this week, I have had two guys wanting to be my “dom”…then came the rules…no communication with other men, answer their msgs within 5 mins, etc. I have chalked it up to a bunch of wanna be doms, but am starting to wonder if I’m the weird one…

Thoughts?



Flawed? Weird? Fuck no!

I'm pretty much the same way. (not that I'm any yardstick of normal around here)

I'm a masochist only sexually in the "bedroom", dungeon, secluded spot outdoors.. or whatever but once that's done, while I won't call myself "dominant" in any sense, , but rather "headstrong" or even "willful" with regard to how I live, where I live, and that outside of "le boudoir" I don't take orders from anyone I don't work for, or of course rules, regulations, and laws--- Y'know, like if a cop directing traffic directs me to stop, of course I stop.

Running his doughnut-munching ass over would not end well.
DarkNight​(dom male)
3 years ago • Oct 25, 2021
DarkNight​(dom male) • Oct 25, 2021
@DollMaker
I hate that I have to reply to this but ok, lets try to use a bit of discernment and not take words so literally. Everything that you've said is very basic knowledge. I think I was pretty clear about the difference between a submissive and a slave. Since your tone implies an expert opinion, you should understand that the dichotomy between sub and slave is only a matter of the degree of servitude and control. At the end of the day a slave is still a submissive and a submissive is still a slave to some greater or lessor degree. You should also know that any D/s relationship cannot be defined by simple words; understanding and agreement between two people are the only dynamics that can form that relationship. The fact that you draw a hard line between the two reveals your misunderstanding.

Your personal interpretation of where the service of a sub ends and the service of a slave begins does not set the standard for all or any relationships. I'm well aware of the similarities and differences between a bottom, sub, and a slave. My statements don't suggest anything other than a generic definition of certain terminology. The reality is that these "labels" don't have much utility other than being vague expressions of preference. Any master, dom, sub, or slave is going to be exactly whatever the hell they want to be if they agree to it.

At no point in this discussion did I say a submissive cannot end an exchange. This was a discussion about subs communicating their initial preference rather than someone forcing their preference on them. But I suppose you think it's ok to coax a sub into your service so long as the sub can "take it back" afterwards. Thanks for making an otherwise light conversation into something a bit more confusing.
dollMaker​(dom male)
3 years ago • Oct 25, 2021
dollMaker​(dom male) • Oct 25, 2021
I was replying in regards to what you said, not the op so nice attempt to deflect, and ascribe things to me, I did not say, or imply.