A Cloud(sub female){Owned}
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2 years ago •
Jan 12, 2022
@tsi
Vanilla or not, being able to openly communicate to someone that you're forming a sexual or emotional bond with is essential. Whatever form a relationship takes, both parties need to state how they are feeling about the other, what needs, wants and capabilities they have for a sexual or emotional relationship, what that might look like etc. etc. Of course, you have to sit down and think about that yourself first. My personal opinion is that If you cannot be without power exchange in a romantic connection, don't go there. Kinky play is one thing and power exchange is another very long road. If you are okay with some kinky activities and you still like sex without the power dynamic, then discuss away. |
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Online now
CSI
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2 years ago •
Jan 12, 2022
^^^^ what betty tails said. A million times over
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LongerJohnny(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Jan 12, 2022
I have been having this exact conversation with a friend. First a little background:
She is a sub/little/pet/degradee who enjoys watersports and loves anal. She has a boyfriend who is not kinky at all. They have been together for a few months, he had never heard of these things before they met, he thinks D/s is "weird" so she can't imagine how he would react to the idea of being a Daddy or walking her on a leash or pissing on her. He doesn't even understand why she enjoys toys. Very non-bdsm. She sees her options as lose him because he is too vanilla to ever satisfy her, or ignore her needs just to keep him. My advice to you is the same I gave her: Have the conversation now, before either of you gets too invested in something that doesn't have a simple workaround. If you are already talking about sexual matters then now is the time to start bringing it up. If you are not having those conversations yet then as soon as you do you should bring it up. It's not weird, it's not threatening, it's "hey I happen to like this and this." And it's better to have that conversation now, as opposed to having the "why didn't you tell me all this before now?!" conversation later. You said "The guy I’m currently talking too..." By that do you mean that you have not been physically intimate? If it is still possible I suggest you have that conversation before you are. Compromise is a thing, and it is definitely vital to a relationship, but as it is with my friend sometimes the only available options suck. Better to know that sooner than later. |
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| tsi(sub female) |
2 years ago •
Jan 12, 2022
LongerJohnny wrote: I have been having this exact conversation with a friend. First a little background:
She is a sub/little/pet/degradee who enjoys watersports and loves anal. She has a boyfriend who is not kinky at all. They have been together for a few months, he had never heard of these things before they met, he thinks D/s is "weird" so she can't imagine how he would react to the idea of being a Daddy or walking her on a leash or pissing on her. He doesn't even understand why she enjoys toys. Very non-bdsm. She sees her options as lose him because he is too vanilla to ever satisfy her, or ignore her needs just to keep him. My advice to you is the same I gave her: Have the conversation now, before either of you gets too invested in something that doesn't have a simple workaround. If you are already talking about sexual matters then now is the time to start bringing it up. If you are not having those conversations yet then as soon as you do you should bring it up. It's not weird, it's not threatening, it's "hey I happen to like this and this." And it's better to have that conversation now, as opposed to having the "why didn't you tell me all this before now?!" conversation later. You said "The guy I’m currently talking too..." By that do you mean that you have not been physically intimate? If it is still possible I suggest you have that conversation before you are. Compromise is a thing, and it is definitely vital to a relationship, but as it is with my friend sometimes the only available options suck. Better to know that sooner than later. Very good advice , Thank you 😊 |
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