Am I turning into a Dom? Or into a switch?

Miki • Jan 31, 2022

I don't believe there are any set rules or official definitions of D/s/switch save for the labels themselves.

Not a damned thing wrong with sliding between roles and back. That doesn't make one any less kinky.

Shaynna​(switch female)​{looking} • Feb 1, 2022

Thank you for your replies tallslenderguy​ and Miki.

For now, i decided to explore my dominant side while at the same time exploring if being a baby girl would fit me more than a sub.
I've also been reading several articles and looks like I was never a sub, but a button ^^

It's nice to have labels that help me be able to search for what I want but at the same time using labels can be kind of restrictive, so I explain on my profile how I am and what I'm looking for.

It's funny, since I changed my profile from sub to switch I receive much fewer messages, not that I mind, because the idea of BDSM that most of the ones who messaged me had are totally different from my idea of BDSM, and now I chat with less but more compatible with me.

Spellbound Wytch​{Mr. Parker} • Feb 1, 2022

And there it is. The "sub" label is like throwing a flare into the air on any kink site. I'll opt for the masochist label every time until I've had time to get comfortable with any prospective partner.

Shaynna​(switch female)​{looking} • Feb 1, 2022

But doesn't that attract more sadists who are into pain? Personally, I never considered using that label here, because even though I enjoy some pain , like in spankings, it's not something that I'm interested in exploring more.

Spellbound Wytch​{Mr. Parker} • Feb 1, 2022

Yes, it attracts sadists, but I *am* very much a masochist. I think sadists often get a bad rap. Sadists and masochists aren't one dimensional characters but rather, like anyone else into our kink, have sensual and soft sides as well. By making it clear I'm a masochist it *should* limit the kinds of people who message me. That's my hope but it never fails that 99% of those who message haven't even glanced at my profile.

Shaynna​(switch female)​{looking} • Feb 1, 2022

Yeah, I hate those who message without reading my profile... Or when they read but still ignore the fact that I don't do naked pictures, which is stated on my profile, and they still ask for it.

I have a sadistic side, but my sadistic side is more psychological than physical but at the same time I'm a person who really tends to care and worry about others so it's kinda contradictory, but like you said sadists have different sides to them so I guess I'm normal ^^

Spellbound Wytch​{Mr. Parker} • Feb 1, 2022

"Normal" is just one more label that gets thrown around willy nilly and without anyone being able to really put a finger on what it really constitutes. BDSM still fell under the "mental illness" category until the the DSM-5 was published. Even so, there's still this to contend with:

"DSM-5 defines paraphilia as “any intense and persistent sexual interest other than sexual interest in genital stimulation or preparatory fondling.” A paraphilic disorder is a “paraphilia that is currently causing distress or impairment to the individual or a paraphilia whose satisfaction has entailed personal harm, or risk of harm, to others.” (DSM-5, pp. 685-686)

Shaynna​(switch female)​{looking} • Feb 1, 2022

I had no idea about that. I'm bipolar and I suffer from deep depression and honestly, I don't think that BDSM has anything to do with mental illnesses. Those who think that don't know what a real mental illness is. For me BDSM is just a preference, same as some people like chocolate and others don't, no one says that someone is mentally ill just because they enjoy a certain food. It's the same for those who say that homosexuality and bisexually are illnesses, it doesn't make any sense to me and I find it real sad that people label things as a mental illness only because they don't understand them.

cherilynn​(sub female) • Feb 2, 2022

I didn't read all the replys to this thread so forgive me if I am late to the game.

So, to answer the original question, lots of folks switch hats until they find the one that fits. There really isn't any way to know how you will feel about a certain role until you experience it for yourself.

So, go out there and explore and have fun.

Shaynna​(switch female)​{looking} • Feb 2, 2022

Thank you for your reply ^^
I've been chatting with subs and switches and exploring online my Domme side to find out what are my preferences. Maybe one day I will feel ready to try it in real life.