moll(other female){owned slav}
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2 years ago •
Sep 3, 2022
FlyingAlan wrote: >>>> HAVING A MENTAL HEALTH ILLNESS DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON ANY LESS OF A DOMINANT, NOR SUB/SLAVE, IT JUST MAKES IT MORE OF A CHALLENGE FOR EVERYONE IN THE DYNAMIC. <<<
What would you say about safety ?? I have been fortunate to witness several subs deep in sub space and basically not in control of their functions. I learned a long time ago that when A sub gives me control, she is also asking me to be in control of her SAFETY. If she is tied to the bed and the house catches fire, she needs to know that I wont bail on her, I will die trying my best to get her out, but I will not just save my ass and leave her to die. I guess my question would be whether someone with a mental issue is capable of the power transfer. Obviously that's diff for each and every diff individual, but I would think that moist subs would run for the hills if you cant assure her safety. As I think she should....... Above and beyond the fact that darn near everyone else suggests that she run simply because the Dynamic is not what she wants. Yes there are people that are not mentally capable of making the decision of whether or not to be in a D/s or M/s relationship, but that's not what I'm referring to. Nor am I referring to people who are emotionally incapable of making that type of decision, nor people who are in a place in their lives where getting into any kind of relationship is wise. You are taking my words out of context. Most people hear or read the word "psychopath" and immediate think of some deranged, ax wielding killer, which is why I stated that the world "psychopath" is NOT a medical diagnosis. My guess is that people are jumping to the wrong conclusion...which is par for the course on social media. The OP NEVER stated that she is being abused or wanted to end things, she literally stated that "when he’s around everything just seem right and easy" (<<<<------cut and pasted from the OP). That does not sound like a person who wants to end things, to me at least, that sounds like a person who is frustrated, understandably, because of the symptoms of his illness. The OP also did NOT state any concerns about safety issues. Not one single word. |
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Online now
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moll(other female){owned slav}
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2 years ago •
Sep 3, 2022
FlyingAlan wrote: As someone that got interested in this just shy of 40 years ago, it obviously took me awhile to grasp what Domination and submission truly is. I 100% agree with Master Richard J's entire post. If your confused please reread his post as he nailed it as far as what a Dom should be. to reinforce his post, look at this one line and ask if you are getting any of this, and if not, way past time to bail.
>>>> To be a Dom, you have to be present in the relationship. Being a true Dom doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. You have to guide your sub, provide direction and feedback <<<< ANY good Dominant should be helping his sub be the best person she can be in the bedroom, at home, at work, in all aspects of life. If your afraid of a strong confidant woman that can also embrace her submissive side, your not cut out to be a Dom. IMHO................. That's wonderful.....completely out of context to the OP, but ....... |
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moll(other female){owned slav}
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2 years ago •
Sep 3, 2022
Well, I'm being told to "drop this" by my Master, but CurvyEnglishRose, do what is best for you and your child and not what others think is best.
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Zelia
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2 years ago •
Sep 3, 2022
Re: Struggling
I’m sorry you’re in such a difficult situation. One of the key foundations of any relationship is communication, when you’re doing your best to fulfil expectations, complete tasks and so forth it is very hard to be met with silence. The lack of affirmation, appreciation of effort and opportunity to discuss what you’ve done does hurt. No communication for days can make it hard to maintain the connection you need to submit without a little discomfort.
Reading between the lines it sounds like you’ve tried to move away from the relationship previously but returned, so something is holding you there although you are finding the lack of communication painful. I think it sounds like you are suffering and in something of a limbo, where if you remain you are find it difficult to cope with sporadic communication and if you leave it feels like your world will fall apart. Perhaps there is a third option. Would it be possible to spend some time when you are relaxed, discussing how the lack of communication makes you feel and trying to reset the relationship with some basic expectations for communication, task feedback etc? If you would seriously like a future together maybe some relationship counselling would help. If nothing improves then I would seek support to terminate the relationship. It should make you happy, not anxious and upset. However hard it is to leave it would get easier over time. For now I would look at extending your world beyond your relationship, give yourself a new focus so you’re not always waiting to hear from Him. Learn something new or engage in a new hobby or craft. Something that fills some of the space in your mind that He currently occupies. Without knowing more about your partners actual psychiatric history, engagement with medics and any symptoms it’s impossible to comment on the extent to which these are impacting upon His ability to maintain communication or the impact on any other aspect of the relationship. This is certainly worth exploring to help you better understand Him and how much it effects the way He engages with you. |
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I'mME
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2 years ago •
Sep 3, 2022
moll wrote: CurvyEnglishRose,
First, I am sorry to read you are struggling. You state that he has "psychopathic" tendencies, but that's not actually a real medical diagnosis; has he been diagnosed with Anti Social Personality Disorder? What really matters.... It sounds like he was upfront with you about his illness, which is good, and he probably told you upfront what to expect in terms of symptoms and how he deals with them, but knowing all this and experiencing what happens when his symptoms flair is another thing. Any one who is stating that you are not in a "true" D/s relationship and that he is not a "true" dominant......they are just completely WRONG. That is not for anyone else to decide but you and him. It's not his fault that he has a disability that prevents him from being present or communicating on a regular basis. He deals with his disability the way that works for him and that is a part who he is and doesn't make him less of a dominant. HAVING A MENTAL HEALTH ILLNESS DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON ANY LESS OF A DOMINANT, NOR SUB/SLAVE, IT JUST MAKES IT MORE OF A CHALLENGE FOR EVERYONE IN THE DYNAMIC. I work in a psychologist's office and I see how mental health illnesses effect the loved ones of the clients that come in. Any chronic illness takes a toll on everyone, but the fact remains that you have to decide what is best for you and your child....especially your child. If he is a good man and you love him...or just want to be with him, then be with him. There are a lot of support groups for the partners of people who have severe mental health illnesses and they are amazing people: they will be there to talk if they can, they know about support services that are available in your area....if not, they will help you find what you need....and they are advocates for those who have the illness. Seriously amazing people. Again, if you want to be with him and he is good for you and your child...then be with him. Best Wishes He is not present , therefore he is not Dominating, is what I wrote. You can not submit when there is no one to submit to. Both those statements do not combine and become..../ He is not a true Dom. I domy best to try and not use the word true in descriptions surrounding people. OP is clearly unhappy, states that he does not communicate with them in black and white. Everywhere there is literature on how subs should be mentally aware and as healthy as they can be before entering into a D/s dynamic. Would you dispute that Moll? So the same goes for Dominants, would you dispute that, Moll? I'm not sure that anyone is writing that people who have mental disabilities can not participate in whatever activity they want to. I am 100 % in agreement that subs should be supportive in whatever manner their Doms need, it's a give and take -ship for sure. But he is not even around, and I feel that it's been like that from almost the beginning, that is the energy I am getting off of the OP's words. I feel her helplessness at knowing the right thing to do, bc she wants to support her Dom. But he is unable or unwilling to accept that right now. I am not a parent but I have had the joy of giving a helping hand in rearing a few over the years, I say it's her job as a Mom to put her child first, and I think that is whom she is thinking about when reaching out and asking for advice. NonyaB description] of the phrase ''psycho tendencies'' and could she possibly mean an anti-social |
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I'mME
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2 years ago •
Sep 3, 2022
moll wrote: Well, I'm being told to "drop this" by my Master, but CurvyEnglishRose, do what is best for you and your child and not what others think is best.
What is best for a child is someone stable, able to be present in the moment. Children do best with stability, that doesn't mean money, or things, it means support and time. In and out is not supportive for a child nor OP. I must have missed where someone said she was abused, and where someone put the Dom down for seemingly having a ''mental illness''. |
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I'mME
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2 years ago •
Sep 3, 2022
Re: Struggling Alaïs wrote: I’m sorry you’re in such a difficult situation. One of the key foundations of any relationship is communication, when you’re doing your best to fulfil expectations, complete tasks and so forth it is very hard to be met with silence. The lack of affirmation, appreciation of effort and opportunity to discuss what you’ve done does hurt. No communication for days can make it hard to maintain the connection you need to submit without a little discomfort.
Reading between the lines it sounds like you’ve tried to move away from the relationship previously but returned, so something is holding you there although you are finding the lack of communication painful. I think it sounds like you are suffering and in something of a limbo, where if you remain you are find it difficult to cope with sporadic communication and if you leave it feels like your world will fall apart. Perhaps there is a third option. Would it be possible to spend some time when you are relaxed, discussing how the lack of communication makes you feel and trying to reset the relationship with some basic expectations for communication, task feedback etc? If you would seriously like a future together maybe some relationship counselling would help. If nothing improves then I would seek support to terminate the relationship. It should make you happy, not anxious and upset. However hard it is to leave it would get easier over time. For now I would look at extending your world beyond your relationship, give yourself a new focus so you’re not always waiting to hear from Him. Learn something new or engage in a new hobby or craft. Something that fills some of the space in your mind that He currently occupies. Without knowing more about your partners actual psychiatric history, engagement with medics and any symptoms it’s impossible to comment on the extent to which these are impacting upon His ability to maintain communication or the impact on any other aspect of the relationship. This is certainly worth exploring to help you better understand Him and how much it effects the way He engages with you. Alaïs, Such a way with words and a great suggestion. Why can I not like your post Alaïs ? Like check heart, although I do wish they had a like tab also. All this love makes my belly hurt. 🤣😂 |
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Notely
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2 years ago •
Sep 4, 2022
Sorry you had to go through in this time. This just my though on this take what you feel.
It’s becoming really difficult as he’s very distant. - 1 One he is pulling away do to his mental health or he talking to others only talking you when he wants to. He says he loves me and that he wants to be there, he’s also talked about adopting my son and wanting to be his dad and getting married. 2 He is leading you on and sweet talking you because not really showing any effect or blue prints. Because someone can say they love you all these things to keep you around they only thinking of them self not curing about your needs . Also with his mental health he should try on working on his self before even jumping in to marriage or anything. He doesn’t really communicate with me. He can go days without talking to me. I do my tasks, he’s notified, I get nothing. 3 He only coming around when he wants then vanishes. Your not a toy for someone to play with when ever. You should have to do silly task. If guy really want's you they will show you take you out in public not hide you they will not vanish they will grow make sure their health life together before they try to jump in to anything. I going by the energy and the emotions red flags all over This truly not safe he hiding his narcissistic behavior . You need to let him go so he can grow not are job to fix everyone you should not being holding on thread waiting around. . Put your value higher forgive and let go you don't even have to tell them why just lose contact they vanished on you because best to walk away. Without Communication, there is no relationship; Without Respect, there is no Love; Without Trust, there is no reason to continue. Trust is earned, respect is given, and loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any one of those is to lose all three. Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. Go by effect and blue prints not sweet words. Also go by energy as energy can not just be given it has to be exchanged and shown over time with trust. Your gut and intuition also know's listen to it and your body. Don't wait around for someone does respect doe's not show you worth. You don't owe this person anything you only owe the goddess of your value and worth to know what better start serving yourself rise up Goddess you are. Warrior https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch-kR_-pTLx/ In the center all that glitters and gold https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch-OvWOpQBk/ see the world differently https://www.instagram.com/p/CgwVwGLOCuL/ present moment https://www.instagram.com/p/Cgxq2NyDW8K/ and suddenly https://www.instagram.com/p/CgwUtoxrSRY/ Darling https://www.instagram.com/p/CfzxzWggRxx/ you deserve https://www.instagram.com/p/CfWth4sAvLS/ Meghan Trainor - NO https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMTAUr3Nm6I Devinine Goddess https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SROtbOwfqUU Healing https://www.instagram.com/p/CiEGHQeBxFb/ Don't allow https://www.instagram.com/p/CiDpxaghZ62/ Grow https://www.instagram.com/p/CiDVH0hByXV/ buddha said https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch1uNutsLRP/ When a Women finds balance between her feminine and masculine she steps in to the Goddess she was born to become. https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch-FV7qpp9x/ To do list ( whatever you belief and understanding ) https://www.instagram.com/p/CiDKMVGrA2g/ remember https://www.instagram.com/p/CiDM4KojcPU/ Don't settle for the bar bare minimum https://www.instagram.com/p/CiC6UxWD04s/ Vibe https://www.instagram.com/p/CiD1ZKxBVHH/ one of https://www.instagram.com/p/CiA61enBPAV/ awise https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch7xkrMhDn5/ allow https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch-9iEcOQnp/ Be https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch-Z0r1vzyO/ She https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch-r8BYj3q8/ you will https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch5v40-gVie/ boundaries https://www.instagram.com/p/ChvX36SjlTL/ to https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch9_SO6jYbo/ affirmation sept https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch-E-qVp794/ Read that again https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch-ESDeqyy0/ If https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch_NoUGsVBf/ Make https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch2GWWbhttX/ Find https://www.instagram.com/p/Cf6mmF2gtx_/ worthy https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch9vqcLO4KR/ dealing with manipulators https://www.instagram.com/p/Chs_oW_DM1K/ You are valuable https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch7UQV_jpxO/ was https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch7iSBpIWL-/ letting go https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch6U1n6OosR/ Start being sexy for you start pleasing yourself stop pleasing others someone wan't be to be part of you its earned they should be glad they even get to be part of it. https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch6AShoLIH1/ autumn goddess rises https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch7RCAfu3rz/ welcome https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch8suF5OMtm/ September 2022 https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch96-aKBMKz/ growing through https://www.instagram.com/p/CgjphN_gxGM/ Don't change https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch5d5IAAUza/ Being https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch26FUxp2UZ/ before pray also can be meditation https://www.instagram.com/p/Chw7bMxjHHq/ Please https://www.instagram.com/p/Chm4QCCpbJP/ I am powerful https://www.instagram.com/p/ChxeYLysA-2/ Turn pain to power https://www.instagram.com/p/ChxLmWlrLoU/ make time for yourself https://www.instagram.com/p/CgRmLioAZZG/ the https://www.instagram.com/p/Chj51-fOoY2/ always https://www.instagram.com/p/ChqfeHgpL44/ There's https://www.instagram.com/p/ChsBxH8BFRh/ When its meant for you it will feel more natural https://www.instagram.com/p/Chn8iN6JBCi/ your https://www.instagram.com/p/ChpbVujJ0pi/ texting is not enough https://www.instagram.com/p/ChpK9v0pQKa/ being https://www.instagram.com/p/ChlYp8fgpCf/ Bruce lee said https://www.instagram.com/p/ChkcJ5EphTW/ 8 things https://www.instagram.com/p/Chn16cxjVX8/ It's Ok https://www.instagram.com/p/ChpfE4iPFiU/ mindset https://www.instagram.com/p/ChplPz9pR4u/ reminder https://www.instagram.com/p/Chj0pVnurtH/ Remeber who you are https://www.instagram.com/p/ChSRwmlrfuL/ manifest https://www.instagram.com/p/ChFqWJpDRw-/ my next https://www.instagram.com/p/ChZVRx-BdeG/ |
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Notely
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2 years ago •
Sep 4, 2022
It was late when I commented on this here is the fixed version
Sorry you had to go through this time. This is just my thoughts on this. Take what you feel. It’s becoming really difficult as he’s very distant. - 1 One he is pulling away due to his mental health not telling you why and he is only talking to others only talking to you when he wants to. You deserve to be respect and know what's going on not be blind sided have to find the answer's you don't need the headache's. He says he loves me and that he wants to be there, he’s also talked about adopting my son and wanting to be his dad and getting married. 2 He is leading you on and sweet talking you because not really showing any effect or blue prints. Because someone can say they love you all these things to keep you around they only think of themselves not caring about your needs as well . Also with his mental health he should trying on working on himself before even jumping into marriage or anything or asking you this. He doesn’t really communicate with me. He can go days without talking to me. I do my tasks, he’s notified, I get nothing. 3 He only comes around when he wants then vanishes. You're not a toy for someone to play with when ever. You should have to do silly tasks. If a guy really wants you they will show you take you out in public not hide you they will not vanish they will grow make sure their health lives together before they try to jump in to anything. Going by the energy and the emotions red flags all over This truly not safe he hiding his narcissistic behavior . You need to let him go so he can grow, not are job to fix everyone you should not be holding on thread waiting around. . Put your value higher, forgive and let go. You don't even have to tell them why they just lost contact with you because it's best to walk away. Without Communication, there is no relationship; Without Respect, there is no Love; Without Trust, there is no reason to continue. Trust is earned, respect is given, and loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any one of those is to lose all three. Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. Go by effect and blue prints not sweet words. Also go by energy as energy can not just be given it has to be exchanged and shown over time with trust. Your gut and intuition are also known to listen to it and your body. Don't wait around for someone who does not show you worth. You don't owe this person anything, you only owe the goddess of your value and worth to know what better to start serving yourself rise up Goddess you are. I had ex that tried to keep me around I know it's not the same story but been their he would say things but then make excuses after excuses but when it was getting old get tired over time the games you have to relies excuses of no more when there's no effect or support and not the same in return you have to think what best for yourself. It's a two way street not just about one person, it's a partnership of team work between two people. |
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MasterDomDok(sadist male){you?}
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2 years ago •
Sep 4, 2022
[quote="I'mME"]
Master Richard J wrote: CurvyEnglishRose,
I am not sure what exactly you mean by "psychopathic tendencies" ... I'm not sure that a psychopath knows that they are a psychopath? Do they? No, I'mME, they are incapable of understanding anyone else's needs, and so, do not know right from wrong. It simply is not in there for them to rub up against. RUN! |
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