First play date location

Bunnie • Jun 16, 2023

As someone quite shy, it’s rare for me to play in public, even doing rope. When it has occurred, it has generally been with those I’ve already been playing/doing rope with privately.

I’ve not hosted due to living in sharehouse situations, so using AirBnB (which was great! and probably how I’d go again in the future), and also going to their home (which was also good… less “getaway” vibe than an AirBnB, but more “intimate”), are the two ways I’ve experienced.

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • Jun 17, 2023

I like bdsm club that I am apart of. It's very big into consent so if something goes wrong I can always "tap out". In a hotel if something goes wrong you have no idea of how other will respond. With the club I go in with no expectations even after talking and if we are both comfortable then we can grab a room or do something in public

ellievillhakaptan • Aug 11, 2023

Thanks to all of you for some great replies and advice! I really appreciate the time many of you took to write some long replies.

Satindragon{Not Lookin} • Aug 11, 2023

I am not one for public play. I prefer to host. When that is not an option I opt for a hotel or Airbnb. I leave the person's name his personal address and phone number plus his driver's license number in a notebook on my kitchen table. I also include the name of the place we are staying. I set up my safety calls. Which are voice calls with a distress codeword build into the conversation. Such as the name of a pet that has passed away. Always safety first.

Re: First play date location

Summer B • Aug 12, 2023

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't believe a first scene should be that intense with someone you are investing the time and energy into to having a long-term D/s dynamic with. I don't have anything against pickup and play in the dungeon. It just doesn't sound like from what you've described that this will be your first meeting (like a coffee date in public) or you intend it to be your last time playing together.

When building a relationship with a new partner on either side of the slash, if interests and what each is seeking aligns, eventually things move from the theoretical in negotiation discussions into reality in actions. This can start small with honorifics and control over attire, but begin incorporating the D/s into your interactions wherever you are (within reason when in public). But each encounter growing and adding more and adjusting accordingly off what work/doesn't work with the new partner. So that the first time you do anything new / more intense / add a new rule or toy, you have a solid foundation upon which things are built. Not just throw someone into the deep end and hope for the best.