Brats of the times

UpFromTheAshes​(switch gender queer) • Nov 3, 2023

My understanding of the word "brat" is that it simply refers to a person who bucks rules and social norms, or who is allowed to live without rules and expectations.

I understand it in a BDSM context as someone who pushes boundaries and tries to find ways around rules. By this definition, I can see how a prostitute might be referred to as a brat, in a time and place when paying for sex with someone you were not married to would be considered well outside of social norms and a breaking of unspoken rules of behavior. Similarly, I can see how as things changed it could come to refer to someone who is sexually open, in a time and place where wanting to have sex just for fun was considered well outside of social norms. And similarly, I can see how in BDSM it has come to refer to an s-type who is always pushing boundaries, breaking rules or finding ways around rules, etc. Extending that to a D-type who also likes to push boundaries and break rules makes a great deal of sense if we look at it from this perspective. PLEASE NOTE: I am autistic, and should you be trying to read between the lines looking for my stance on Brats in BDSM, STOP THAT. Ask if you're unsure and want to know. I'm not sharing my opinion in this post (but I recognize that my sharing of bald understanding often comes off harshly, so I add this reminder).

Another point: Language is fluid and it changes over time. I've never heard "brat" used in some of the ways described in the original post, but I know there are pockets and regions where words are used differently. OP, you yourself pointed to your understanding of how the use of the word has changed from generation to generation. I would say that resisting that change just because it's not what you grew up with, or disparaging it as "too many idiots" could even make you a brat

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Nov 3, 2023

Good morning. Very interesting conversation.

I know I’m rather young (at heart) and perhaps not that knowledgeable in the ways of the world (although I have extensive travel under my belt), but I’ve never (ever) heard of brats being dubbed as “whores”, unless of course that was an additional title they had earned. Further, I’ve never heard of brats as being the Dominant. They are simply and quite lovingly “brats”.

Most (actually all) brats I know are submissive at heart (except one Dominant of late who is sort of whiny but whining doesn’t make you a brat). And just to clarify, none of the Dominants on this thread are he. 😉

They may attempt to “top from the bottom” as part of their brat-persona, but I would think that is more in line with their desire to have their Dominant dominate them. I would say any adds you see are more for a scene and they want a brat to brat on them, and they are mis-using terms horribly. Words have meaning and today we have reached an age where everyone feels justified in redefining words that have meant something very specific for a very, very long time.

Also, is it possible you are applying the term brat to those people your grandparents referred to as the town whore, bitch or slut when they were not actually a brat. Did your grandparents actually call them “a brat” in the same context as BDSM uses the terms? (Were your grandparents in the lifestyle? Very cool if they were). I’m just saying, perhaps their use of the term brat is very different from how “we” collectively use it.

Final thought: I concur, there are an astounding number of idiots of late.

All the best.
LL

Sweet Ginger​(sub female){⚓ } • Nov 3, 2023

I am not a brat, surprising, huh?! 😇 but in all seriousness the way "brats" have described themselves to me over the years by reading their blogs and in private chat, is they enjoy being playful with their dominant ..Their Dom genuinely knows their submissive well enough to know it's being playful without feeling its crossing the line of disrespectfulness..brats may not be someone's cup of tea .. "Your kink is not my kink " but they also deserve respect in the community for being who they are. Without feeling ashamed or ridiculed for being themselves.

LordofPain56 • Nov 4, 2023

During my childhood, a brat described a kid who constantly tested their parents patience by dis-obeying the rules and other misbehaviors.
In the BDSM realm, I had always ASSUMED it meant a submissive who would break the rules on purpose to test the Dom's limits before he would invoke harsh punishment. Possibly a masochist.
If true, I now realize that it may have been a mistake to have that statement in my profile prohibiting breaking rules on purpose just to get a punishment. Maybe could have had some fun. Oh, well, water under the bridge.

LordofPain56 • Nov 4, 2023

I agree and would prefer to reject someone with that type of personality.


These two seem to be sarcastic behavior, but I can see where in some cases might be disrespectful of the Dom, which is a broken rule in itself (in my list of rules)

Geez can you just guess what kind of mayhem and discontent might be going on in this household. It's a wonder anyone would advertise they are a brat.
First of all, the boundaries and authority are set forth in an agreed upon covenant, by which both must obey. To break those rules is tantamount of mutiny.