| MasterBigB |
6 months ago •
May 5, 2024
I would think each dom like each sub would have their unique "Attitude". Since we are all different. I understand the lifestyle thing but even in the lifestyle we all are unique with different wants and desires. Some call them needs. Personally, I never want to harm, hurt, or inflict severe pain. Yes spankings are different as a show of domination. But don't have to bring tears. In my mind a good submissive doesn't need pain to get the point on serving her Master to her best ability. She loves to because she is shown appreciation for her efforts. Might not be Domlyness but It's my way.
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tallslenderguy(other male)
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6 months ago •
May 5, 2024
MasterBigB wrote: I would think each dom like each sub would have their unique "Attitude". Since we are all different. I understand the lifestyle thing but even in the lifestyle we all are unique with different wants and desires. Some call them needs. Personally, I never want to harm, hurt, or inflict severe pain. Yes spankings are different as a show of domination. But don't have to bring tears. In my mind a good submissive doesn't need pain to get the point on serving her Master to her best ability. She loves to because she is shown appreciation for her efforts. Might not be Domlyness but It's my way.
As i see it, evoking and controlling through affirmation and "appreciation" are complex and powerful expressions of "Domlyness." my perception of force, coercion, pain (when it's not part of mutual need/desire) are compensatory. i just do not perceive D/s as something taken, or forced, but given because the Dom unlocks and opens that need/desire in the sub to submit and fully give their self. |
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IDreamOfDragons(dom male)
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6 months ago •
May 5, 2024
Ok there is a lot to unpack here but this is the simplest idea I got from the original post. It is a positive exercise to list characters that you look for as a sub or are proud of as a Dom. Open communication like that leads us to see if there are patterns. I did not sense in the original post a desire to move to a negative frame. I myself as a Dom am very proud of my Domlyness chararistics. I have worked hard to cultivate them and am proud of the work I have done.
Things I’m proud of. Intelligence, creativity, guidance, creating safe places for exploration, communication, safety, love, honesty, thoughtful, resolute, empathy, patience, compassion, confidence, courage, consistency, consideration, respect, trust…… that’s a few I don’t see any negativity in listing this. |
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Sincorrigible(sub female)
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6 months ago •
May 8, 2024
Domlyness, to me: calm, consistent, absorbs me, reflects me, able to effortlessly change tone and guide mood. Listens. Uses information gleaned in multiple ways. A man who appreciates emotional vulnerability and is able to use it for his ends wisely. A man who understands behaviours and how to shape them.
I've omitted what I would call decent human being pre-requisites for me, which others have already listed. |
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