Is Public Scening really a case of showing off?

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Aug 7, 2024

I would say yes. While it is a very effective way of making the s type feel the effect they need, it is still the the D's presenting the couple to the public. It is still saying "Hey! Look at us!"

I'm not saying it is a bad thing but it is what it is.

Exhibitionism

Queer Lovemaking • Sep 26, 2024

[quote="Bunnie"]Most people I know that play at our local, do so because they don’t have the bigger equipment at home, or rope anchor points. There are also those who don’t have anyone to play with privately.
As for me personally, I’m not a big public scene-r, however, when I have (mostly rope), I actually completely forget there are other people around because I’m so focused on what’s occurring between myself and the other person.
Yes, there are definitely exhibitionists (I think they’re pretty obvious). Is it an ego thing? I can’t say because I’m not them. My observations lead me to believe it’s a bit of ego boost, a bit of enjoying being watched, and a bit of enjoying feeding off the atmosphere of the environment. For every person who enjoys being watched there are just as many who enjoy watching, so that in itself creates its own little connection.

As for the sign, I can completely understand that. There’s nothing worse than having someone interrupt a scene.[/quot

Exhibitionism is about shame. And pride. It is like coming out all over again. Ego boost, yes. I quit a local gay bathhouse because people walk around towel wrapped.

Steellover​(sub male) • Sep 26, 2024

I cannot speak for the dominant ones, but I suspect it's a combination of exhibitionism and showing off, and for the sub, erotic humiliation in a public space.

With that said, I would be hesitant to do too much in certain public spaces for fear of offending or creeping out casual onlookers who might not be down with what is taking place in front of them. In a club, or semi-secluded place, thats one thing, but in the middle of the grocery store or at the mall, maybe not. Though even then, if you are subtle about it, I suspect there still might be ways to get away with public play. (I've seen swimwear and tank tops with the words "Keyholder domme" subtly emblazoned on them, for example, sold online.)

Kelpi • Sep 27, 2024

In some cases ues and it is so good. Now there are some that you just need to watch and not bother with. It's fun and at times the ones doing it enjoy being watched.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Sep 28, 2024

I’m an exhibitionist so it’s absolutely about wanting people to see me and what my Dom does to me. Sometimes there can be a little bit of humiliation mixed in even though we’re around other kinky people (making me say something silly every time he hits my pussy for example).

As for Dom/mes showing off? I love when my Dom shows me off! I want him to be proud to show everyone what is his to do with as he pleases.

Interrupting isn’t cool, but I love when people appreciate what is happening silently and then afterwards expressing how much they enjoyed it.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Sep 28, 2024

Topeka,
I like most of what you said in your original post, but there is a bit that I disagree with:
"Others say it is to satisfy their public exposure. I call bullshit on this one because they are amoung those who also enjoy the same activities. So there is not shame or feeling of "getting away with it".

First, exhibitionism is not necessarily based on whether or not the other people in the room are into the same things - which is fortunate because not everyone in every dungeon or at every event will likewise be an exhibitionist.
Generally, for exhibitionism to be realized it need only have people watching, irrespective of what those people actually think about it.

Exhibitionism cannot thrive in private; it needs many eyes focused on it. The reason why it can and does happen around and amongst others who enjoy similar activities is because we have to go to places where we are allowed to do those things.

Also, it does not require a feeling of "getting away with it" unless we're defining public exposure as something done in view of the unwitting vanilla public, which is nearly always non-consensual, as well as illegal.

Whatever "shame" a sub might feel may have nothing to do with what is viewable by others, but due to her view of herself, and that of her Dom. Plenty of subs enjoy that shame; my sub does, and we do love our emotional Sadism fun!

As to exhibitionism being only about a Dom's ego, and about him being able to say "Look at what I can do with my s type!" I definitely have some thoughts about that:

I get a lot of pleasure from making my sub face the crowd at our local place while wearing fresh, visible, humiliating marks of ownership that I have just left on her. But I am just as proud of her for enduring it as I am proud of myself for forcing her to. And so is she.

I love placing her in vulnerable situations, both emotional and physical, and I invite everyone to come watch her suffer in her shame and humiliation. But I am just as likely to think "look what she can handle!" as I am to think "look what I can do to her!"

If there is ever pure ego involved it would be outside the lifestyle, in everyday places. No matter where we go as soon as we walk in all eyes are immediately, often hungrily drawn to her. And I look at all of them with a smile that says "You may want her, look at her, think anything you like about her - but I am the only one who will ever own her!"

Ok, perhaps there is just a tiny bit of ego in that.

aPeepingMom​(sub female) • Sep 29, 2024

This! So much this.