Who should approach first.

bdsamworld​(sub female){collared} • Sep 6, 2024

Online: "hey there!" 😉😉
In person: 👀🫣, approach 😃🥴

Hahaha. Kinda like that?

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Sep 6, 2024

I have found that being approached just works better for me. I guess there is a lot to me that is atypical, specifically in the sense of forming a dynamic/relationship. As such, I try to be as direct as possible with everything that comes as a part of the 'package deal' that is me and it seems that folx are either interested enough in that chaos to start a conversation, or they understand that it would not work for them and continue on their way.

Miki​(masochist female) • Sep 6, 2024

... the other reason that I preferred to be "approached" (although some might think that, dressing as I did back then, is kind of an approach in and of itself.) --- the old "Come Hither" shit)

But I preferred letting some dude do the heavy lifting. Of course in the event something were to draw near dragging hairy knuckles --- I could disappear very quickly--- The main advantage of being just over 5 feet tall and thin -- an abundance of escape routes where muscle-bound primates cannot follow.

Garv​(dom male) • Sep 7, 2024

For me, "working the room" has produced some amazing results, you can work out the details at a later time. For the ladies who were hesitant, it takes some of the pressure off and can help making you seem more approachable.

Miki​(masochist female) • Sep 8, 2024

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That sounds similar to what I used to do although "never been" to a 'munch'. None of those exist near me. However, seedy bars and clubs will do. [Just get out of those before it gets late. Less chance of stepping in puddles of lumpy puke on your way out.]

Conversely, in non-bar or club situations, like a coffee get together with coworkers and shit, I am the one who, to this day, gets the occasional stare or greasy smile (like those found on dudes in cheap suits working the used car lots) I'd give a courtesy wave to be polite, but not mislead them.

Alas, on several occasions when they don't get "the message" that I'm not looking for hookups in restaurants or greasy-spoon diners, I resorted to sticking my tongue out with food (preferable mashed taters) on it. That always did the trick.

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@Garv: As long as you don't go out there looking like you do in here, you'll do OK I believe. Personality is (almost) everything.

bdsamworld​(sub female){collared} • Sep 8, 2024

@miki HAHA! mashed potato tongue! Love it! Hahaha. I'm in an area where there used to be a huge gathering of the kinksters until about 10 or 12 years ago. Surprisingly at those events if you told a guy or gal you weren't interested in chatting they'd immediately move on to someone else. But I like what some munches are doing nowadays. You were a specific color name tag to identify if you want to be approached or not. Or to signify other things.

Sweet Minx​(sub female){NotLooking} • Sep 8, 2024

I love being chased and someone reaching out to me but if I find something attractive, I will definitely send a message first. You lose 100% of the chances you don't take. There's no protocol I think here just preferences. I suppose Doms may not like a sub being assertive and messaging first but noone has complained to me about it.

Miki​(masochist female) • Sep 8, 2024

That's a good idea.. a color-coded name tag.. But I would assume those "leave me alone" colored tags must have been few and far between. If one does not wish to be approached one would think they'd pass on the Munch Bunch. As for those who go away if one indicates they are not in a particularly talkative mood, that is always nice and it is (was) appreciated although communicating with me is a complicated process outside of the written word to begin withand many didn't want to bother, (which was OK). I make faces, wink even, strike poses.. that was generally good enough. That and my chosen outfit and the choker. I had decent luck back then. Most dudes knew well that their dicks wouldn't suck themselves XD

But munches and clubs and even bars are places with a lot of options. On sites like this, they often scroll right past the little "Not Looking" detail at thetop of my profile and go right to "send a message" where I always reply to anyone ---but in these cases I alert the gents to what's at the top of my "blah".

bdsamworld​(sub female){collared} • Sep 8, 2024

Yes, many messages without even looking at the profile they're messaging! Such a huge pet peeve of mine. But it easily weeds people out too. If they're genuinely messaging me to get to know me more they would have read my profile. But that's a whole other rant. Hahaha.

Miki​(masochist female) • Sep 8, 2024

It doesn't really bother me any more. I've been in here almost 7 years and people skipping over profiles, even ones as deliberately thin as mine-- is the rule not the exception. I simply reply to "approach" messages with the fact that I'll always reply to messages on "general topics" but beyond that I am not looking for anything more, nor do I see myself changing that any time soon.

The guys will either correspond with "general stuff" for a while or they'll disappear outright. I don't feel as badly writing "Sorry, nothing doing beyond friendly banter" or "disappointing" anyone because had they been paying attention, they would know before messaging me that "Come meet my meat" ain't happening.

On the other hand I write regularly to a couple three guys from here, mostly Offsite now in emails. They keep in touch probably because they "aren't looking", either.

Just regular "talk". A touch of spice here and there but no expectations. This works well for all concerned.