Jeeze

Kelpi • Oct 15, 2024

Baby Love your right there seems to be more fakes out there than real ones now. At one time that was not true but since we have changed what a woman is and what a man is the real Doms seem to have .... uh .... like passport bros gone their way. They get tired of trying to find someone in the US who is real and looking for long term not just a sugar daddy.

I do not have any idea how many times I have talked with subs who in the first ten minutes of chat have asked what did I do for work and how much I made. Well I will tell you but when I get to know you and if I find we are going to be long term. Personally I long for someone to share my life with sub or not. I am not going to just collar someone who say "I'm a sub take me". I want long term not right now. So why is it harder now to find it than it was 20 years ago?

Rianai​(dom agender) • Oct 15, 2024

So exhausting you missed the "h'. Rookie mistakes give you away I'm afraid.

I think the greater danger is the ones who appear genuine. One of the most damaging predators I've ever encountered could fool most people until you looked into their claims. They could regurgitate quotes and statistics ftom all the well known names but couldn't display any actual understanding or application. Online though she could appear as competent as any true Dominant.

We focus so much on the jumped up twerp instadoms we forget the chameleons are just as bad...if not worse because they foster connections to abuse others.

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 15, 2024

Ouch! Topeka's missing "h" was quite likely a typo. Not being a hard ass but those don't give anything away except maybe one who isn't entirely faithful to the chore of proofreading, kind of like in your post:

"...They could regurgitate quotes and statistics ftom all the well known names..

" No T in "from" Maybe a rookie mistake but I don't see it as giving anything away


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But as to the topic: My deal-breaker about online connections with the endgame involving ""Come meet my meat"-- The vast majority of those are "as-advertised" --BUT one never knows what exactly lies on the other end of the "line".

All the photos, selfies, and references in the world don't mean the fella on the other side of the connection could be a latter day Ted Bundy.

I'm sorry, so not worth the risk in that of all the dudes I could come across anywhere on any site it takes only one to totally ruin my day-- to put it mildly.

dryfte​(sub female) • Oct 15, 2024

My mantra: Stay Safe, Choose Wisely

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Oct 15, 2024

AHA!

You fell into my TRAP!

<twirls moustache in so menacingly way>

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Oct 15, 2024

I have noticed an abundance of intentionally fake participants across all spectrums and motivations (whether that be taking money from the desperate or ignorant, trying to get out of having to deal with the convoluted life things the rest of us struggle with, or simply getting their rocks off), and they are an obvious stain on the community and lifestyle as a whole.

However, another rising element I have come across, potentially even more than those who try to game the system intentionally, are those who come in with primarily good intentions, but just don't know how to start or what is reasonable to look for. It is no secret that the most accessible portrayals of kink range from not-great to outright destructive in their messages, and this is the likeliest reason many legitimately interested parties enter the field with an imminent black mark just waiting to be recognized.
It is also worth noting that, partially due to its fairly word-of-mouth dissemination and philosophical qualification, the kink community's recognized authorities, varied as they are, may not always provide the healthiest interpretations of our communal best practices. Pairing this with how often their community-within-a-community may be touted as the go-to for higher learning, it is no wonder that neophytes may get off to a rocky (and potentially precipitous) start.

My point is that, while it may seem like the community is overrun by those with nefarious intent, keep in mind that some may simply be victims of an imperfect system. The kink community, like any other social creation, has always had hiccups, and as it grows in visibility and ensuing popularity, these hiccups will become more pronounced. It is important for all of us involved to do what we can to not only spread awareness, but to check and balance the validity of how and what sort of awareness we are spreading.

Sub Baby Love​(sub female) • Oct 26, 2024

Mister Ashmodai.- seriously perfect. Great perspective. I hope more people read what you wrote.

Everyone else on the whole missing h thing…Send love to one another.
That’s the reason places like this site are created

I'mME • Oct 27, 2024

TD,
Sniggling. You 'lil' faker.

QeD​(dom male) • Oct 27, 2024

While my opinion might be unpopular I still want to voice it.
From my perspective (being in Germany is a big problem finding a good connection on here due to distance to most members) I want to add that a lot of times, like in real life with normal relationships, the genuine ones do not get a shot.
I have this perspective because a lot of time I got turned down due to the distance - which is understandable - and had the chance to be friends and talk with subs on here about their experience with other Doms and the process of finding "Mr Right".
There have been too many incidents to count that lead me to question the actual intents of people who are upset about 'fake X'(it's on both sides of the spectrum). It's a mixture of unrealistic expectations and sunken cost fallacy. Too rarely do people look at themselves to improve first.

Tldr: good subs and Doms are here they just often don't get given a chance by the people complaining about 'too many fakes'.

P.S. I blame the rise of only fans and social media for most of the phenomenons we see and are upset about regarding dynamics, relationships and all that.

I hope I didn't make anyone feel attacked I just wanted to make sure we also see the positive when there no doubt is a sea of negatives. That's what kink is about for me at least.
To find your place where you can be you and are appreciated for it while you keep growing to become better.