Thought Experiment or Philosophy Question:

jackdaws • Jan 28, 2025

I cannot see any situation wherein someone would say "oh sure, why not" unless they were giant flying douche nozzles. I am in an ENM relationship, and in that flavour, consent is key. Throw BDSM into the mix, where consent is the founding pillar, I just can't see it unless the "attached" parties had already agreed to a "don't ask, don't tell" style of dynamic. I guess it all has to come down to what the rules/dynamic is with the "attached" parties. If they've never given consent to this potentiality, then it's cheating. Even if they don't find out, you would know, and guilt has a way of eating away at your soul. It's a slippery slope too. Those that "get away with it", tend to push the boundaries and do worse next time.

Having been cheated on, without knowing for years till I eventually found out, when the truth is revealed, it hurts. A lot. And not in any kind of good way.

I may be a little biased here, but the TLDR is: Hell no I wouldn't unless both linked parties had previously agreed upon this exact potential outcome (I know even some monogamous folks who have "hall pass lists" of folks they are allowed to "hit" if the opportunity arises) but even then, it's a morally grey area as consent is a scale not a binary.

JenX • Jan 29, 2025

I’ve slept on this question, and my initial reaction is firmly grounded in my morals and values. “No, I wouldn’t cheat, play without proper vetting, or risk the mind fuq and possible limerence. One play session isn’t worth the possible negative consequences.”

During my second cup of coffee, I asked myself a more interesting question:

What would it take for me to risk the negative consequences? Who could tempt or seduce me to sell out my morals, values, and mental health for one play session?

Dom/sub of my Dreams for one play session and aftercare is mandatory:

Hands down without batting an eyelash . . . Henry Cavill’s The Witcher, Drew Barrymore in kitten gear, plus most of the cast from The Last Kingdom and Outlander in character and in costume.

Hall Pass!

SayYesMaam​(dom female) • Jan 29, 2025

I don't do "play sessions" unless I am being paid, in which case, of course, I will. It does not matter what my submissive thinks—I would even tell them. If I have a submissive, it is a relationship, not a session. Unlike most, this is not a game or a "lifestyle" to me, any more than people in traditional relationships would consider it a lifestyle.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 30, 2025

Ah, a take on the good ol' "Moral Man vs Ethical Man" comparison wherein the ethical man wouldn't boff someone other than his "significant other" because it's wrong while the moral man simply wouldn't even consider pulling out his fishing rod at other people's ponds at all.

In the spirit of it being a "thought question" only we can skip the tried-and-true axiom: "They ALWAYS find out..."

And set aside that I never dug on LTRs or any other emotional jazz ----- I'm not big on scruples so "Hell, yeah!"


But that's just me.

* * * * *

That, and anyone I associated with when active or even now, know how I roll. No one gets hurt.

rsparks​(sub female) • Jan 30, 2025

If I am with someone I am with that person only and I also don't share, so this is a definite no for me. No disrespect or judgement for anyone that does partake in these practices, that's just how I do things.