Different Types of Submissives

BunnyDreams​(sub female) • Sep 25, 2018

I'm ashamed to say that my own anwer comes from a place of insecurety and the need to be able to find an idenity that suits rather than just picking one off the shelf.
I'm currently adding to the 'The bottoms' by also making sure that in my completed list I have things like 'rigger/ rope bunny' and even 'hunter/ prey' although those could also overlap into 'The Submissives' area if the relationship is that way inclined.
But those two could just be in 'The bottom' area if there is no submission involved and the person just enjoys the physical sensation of being the 'reciever' rather than the 'giver'
Sorry.
I hope that doesn't sound mental.

LettingGo​(sub female) • Sep 25, 2018

No it doesn’t sound like Your mental. You’re just very thorough in your research. There’s nothing wrong with that. From what I’ve gathered from everyone’s answers so far is that most people approach the process differently. You’re just approaching in a way that makes sense to you.

BunnyDreams​(sub female) • Sep 25, 2018

THANK YOU!!!
I've had so many people (mostly doms) tell me that the list is too long, or I should just go with what feels right, or that there is no proper list.
Which, yeah, ok, I can get that... But they still haven't answered my question or they've made me feel small because I don't know what I am.
I'm just looking for a sense of belonging, with something I can identify with, in this great, big, crazy, expansive of a lifestyle.
Thank you for acknowledging that I'm just trying to make it make sense to me.

LettingGo​(sub female) • Sep 25, 2018

You’re welcome Darlin!

If they made you feel in a way shape or form like you weren’t awesome then they’re not the right Dom for you.

I think though it’s important to understand that everyone on here is looking for something. You’ll come across people who may be into the same things as you, some who are interested in a few things you are, then some who have completely different interests. We all have to be respectful of each other’s wishes.

BunnyDreams​(sub female) • Sep 25, 2018

I like you. You seem smart and sensible but also kind and understanding.
I think you (and the others like you that are already here) are just what these kinds of places need.

LettingGo​(sub female) • Sep 25, 2018

Well thank you! There’s no sense in being hateful. It takes too much time and energy lol.

You seem like a sweet girl. And hopefully you find your fit in all of this! I certainly hope you do.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Sep 26, 2018

I feel that while we might know a bit of who we are as subs or doms for that fact. It is something that will/ or maybe ever changing to one point or another as we grow.

And I also feel that we don't always for into one nice tidy box, or even two or three boxes. And when we find the right match ( our person) the boxes don't matter as much. We and they seem somehow to be just what the other needs ( without and forcing or work to be so)

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Sep 26, 2018

There is no secret path.
Start with a list of your likes and dislikes.
I had baby girl subs who move on to be more into pain slut, some subs who didn’t know they would like degrading sessions and one who wasn’t into pet play but now want a cage etc.. nothing set in stones apart from Trust and Care they are the only two pilons of a healthy relationship.
So just start with the title sub then gradually change it.. it’s a path of experience and learning so go along the flow....

LettingGo​(sub female) • Sep 26, 2018

Thanks y’all. You’ve been really insightful. I’m definitely going to taking your advice.

Dragonsness • Sep 27, 2018

Hi.
I'm 12yrs in and still trying to figure this out. When I first decided to jump into the lifestyle, all I knew was what I had read. (And that was a LOT)
I had no Dom, no Master. I signed up on an adult site and met my first Dom there. We went with thought that I was a sub. It kind of fit..... But not quite.
After about 6mos I asked to be released. Soon after I met another Dom and eventually became his sub. Still it wasn't quite right. I met a lot of people in the following months. I found that there was a masochist.... And a brat.... And a slave in me. Sometimes it's hard to reconcile all of that into one me. There are days that I feel like Sybil. .... It's a work in progress.