hiraethslave(sub female){unavailabl}
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5 years ago •
Feb 20, 2019
The amazing ladies above me have answered so well.
My trauma was at a very young age by my biological father. I've had years and years of counseling though every life experience leaves a mark, positive or otherwise. I use BDSM D/s and kink to work with these marks. I had a fantastic working relationship with a Mentor who was an emotional sadist, he had a fantastic way of working with my triggers to alter them. No one can ever take them away, but I will say once he got deeply into one in a SAFE way he had a way of then helping me put it in a box on a shelf too high for me to reach. Two years ago just thinking about certain things would have had me anxious... now, I'm calm and at peace. The second way this rings true for me is what others said about normalizing or coming to grips with interests that run parallel to the abuse. Thirdly, I saw an image last year that was right on point for me: it is the trust I need. To "knowing he has the ability to break you, trusting him not to." ... learning I can trust him where I could NOT trust others is the depth I need. The proof that absolute power over me will NOT lead to abuse... is it really trust? Think on that. Those of us who had out trust broken this way... is it REALLY a foundation of trust? Or is it a foundation of PROOF? Trust like faith is intangible... I tend to feel it isnt a foundation of trust at all, but repeatedly proven factual proof that THIS MAN will NOT break or harm that which he COULD. Like sweetd0428, I am open to discussing this with A/any who need. ~ faith |
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Online now
| Paracelsus |
5 years ago •
Feb 20, 2019
Yes
My early life was very traumatic. It has directly affected everything I learned as coping mechanisms, and set me on the path to be Master. My early fear drove me to unrestrained violence, and it has taken many years to direct that to something positive, with the help many others. A good sub is the best medicine.
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your last Dominator(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Mar 12, 2019
I have worked as a professional hypnotherapist. While in practice I have dealt with sexual abuse cases.
I have also dealt with sexual abuse with some of my slaves. Sadly, sexual abuse is very common. Even more sadly I do not believe that BDSM alone is the way out of the pain. Cases that I have worked with victims, some using BDSM and some not, have taken time. In my opinion there is no overnight miracle to help or cure. But I try and have been successful with helping eliminate the scars and renew a lady's strength and self-respect. BTW there are far more female sexual abusers that the general public is aware of. Especially women abusing women. Some domme's and mistress' think that just because they are female too that it is not sexual abuse. Perhaps this is a terrible thing to say but I wish sexual abusers would be forced to experience the same trauma and psychological pain that the victims suffer. |
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hiraethslave(sub female){unavailabl}
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5 years ago •
Mar 12, 2019
I absolutely agree, there are more female abusers than people realize. Every Dominant I've ever been involved with has revealed a past of sexual abuse as a youth or young adult, sometimes coupled with physical or emotional abuse as well. All but one of those perpetrated by a female. Most, I have been the first or second person they have ever told. Thank you for bringing this point up.
~ faith |
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hiraethslave(sub female){unavailabl}
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5 years ago •
Mar 13, 2019
Edit: on thinking back... I need to revise... ALMOST every. Point still stands. it is highly under reported and very important in our (and all) communities.
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Originaljewel(switch female)
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5 years ago •
Mar 24, 2019
My answer to this question is yes. As a child I was molested by grown men and when I learn to do all the things they wanted me to do that made me a good girl. After I ggrewup and started dating I ended up in abusive relationships and was sexually assaulted. I did wind up in the lifestyle I am now in my sixties and still in the lifestyle. I don't know if it was just to work out the fact that I was abused or if it's an outcome of that abuse. I do believe we need to be honest with our partners whether we are Dom or sub and we also need to seek professional help if needed. Unless he is a licensed professional psychiatrist the dominant should not be trying to keep treat the problem for the submissive. Just my humble opinion thank you for a very interesting topic
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