When you just want to say “F” it

knights star MK​(sub female){Maverick K} • Nov 18, 2018

This hits so close to home for me right now. As I was telling Master today, my collar is too tight. Not physically, but mentally. Part of it has to do with being a woman in our society today and trying to be powerful and a great role model. Another part is apparently Master's age. Part of it I think is just growing pains within myself. I am trying to figure out what can be done in each of these areas.

In the area of being a powerful woman and great role model, I think I need to cut myself some slack. Master wishes me to use all of my talents and gifts to the best of my abilities. I just need to remember that I can do that and honor him and his control over me. I need to give up guilt for taking initiative and allow myself to shine. If I am the best me, I am the best pet for him. I know this is not an easy thing, but I think it is doable and I am going to work on it.

Master is 14 years older than I am. I knew this going into our relationship and marriage. I just wasn't ready for all of the reality of it. We have gotten him some vitamins and I hoping they will help with the sex area of this challenge. I think the other part, me missing dancing and music and nights out can be dealt with by my being honest with him and telling him what I would wish. I know he won't grant all of my wishes, his comfort does and should come first, but how can he grant any of them if I don't let him know what they are? He has always told me that Mind Reading was the only course he failed in college. lol

Now for the growing pains. I guess the best I can do for them is to do some self-care. You know, put on my own oxygen mask before I help others. I can make time to meditate, use my oils, read my oracle cards, and use my essences.

Yours in kinky friendship,
pet {Maverick Knight}

T slave​(sub female){Owned} • Nov 18, 2018

I'm only human after all!
Happy Life first!
Caring, understanding, sharing honest feelings and emotions!
D/s doesnt change the need for love and support for both party's. Yes?

Pumpkin29​(sub female){MrWhite} • Nov 19, 2018

Bunnie, it's a bit eerie how often you post things that I've been dealing with myself. Obviously I'm still super new, so take this with a grain of salt, but here's where I seem to be:
I think T slave summed it up beautifully... we're human. We're aren't robots, and sometimes we have days where it just ain't happening for one reason or another.
For me, the fastest way to get through it is just to let myself feel it. I'm encouraged to just let it out. If I want to be frustrated and kick and scream, I'm allowed to do that, as long as I don't stop talking about it.
Once that part is over, I'm better able to absorb all the things that make me feel better...Cuddles and comfort. Try the type of things you'd use to help if you were experiencing sub-drop. Kinda like...Feelings drop. Things that make you feel safe and calm and relaxed while you recharge your batteries. For me, personally, once I'm passed that point, I'm even more eager to do everything I can to please.
As you would say, just be gentle with yourself.
Having moments where you just want to say "Nope. This sucks. I don't want to. You can't make me," is probably more normal than people are willing to let on. But keep in mind that I'm also not likely to be in the running for "sub of the year"

Satindragon{Not Lookin} • Nov 19, 2018

I am new to this lifestyle but not new to life. We all hit stages of burn out, and we all handle it differently. I have to do something physical. I need loud 70's style music. I clean, I work out, anything that keeps me moving. Most of all I need to be left alone! I need to stop thinking and get exhausted.

HisRedd{Self} • Nov 19, 2018

Hugs Bunnie,

Well I don’t have much experience, however being new to the lifestyle I find myself always questioning everything. But finding the Cage has connected me to so many people to talk to and get a different perspective (thanks all). I often disconnect and reflect on how I feel and why I feel that way. Then I often share with people I’ve learned have been here before, for advice and encouragement. I choose this route because my Master has not learned to fully take control of my mind yet, therefore leaving me to its very powerful games. In the end I hope I can give him time to grow or be strong enough to walk away from a bad match. Sorry if this is not much help.