Large girls

thinker​(switch male){no} • Jan 18, 2020

I wanted to speak of this but from the other perspective. I am a larger person and I deal with the same issue in a way> I cannot be an Adonis like it seems women want.Number1 am too old now and have to accept me first. I have lost weight through weight loss surgery and exercising and watching my diet. I did it for others at first but that is a losing proposition as you can never please everyone. I also did it because I am a switch and do enjoy playing the role of a damsel once in a while and being bound and gagged and blindfolded in skirts and panties or nude. I hd to do it for me not for others and there are advantages to being larger the average person. I now try to maintain a healthy lifestyle and lose more weight to do more and better in whatever I do, not to please others.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jan 19, 2020

Did you meet this person IRT before the play date?

Make sure that you are completely upfront about how you look and how much you weigh. Do it without reservation and without self depreciation. Meet the person before you play with them. To coffee or something. So that they can get a good eye on you.


Also, recognize the following phrases as red flags:


One. I'm attracted to smart people.
Two. Body size doesn't matter to me.
Three. I'm attracted to all kinds of things.

These are red flags because they are nebulous. Look for somebody who is outrightly attracted to bigger bodies and has no issue saying it.

Always- ALWAYS meet before play.

Sadistdaddy89​(dom male) • Jan 23, 2020

Well done for addressing this....
Although from my prospective someone who does enjoy all shapes and sizes not enough larger ladies have the confidence to go out there
Stick your head up high and know he's the one with the problem not you

Emmac • Oct 2, 2020

It's whats inside a person that matters more than anything else.

I'm submissive but prefer to date larger guy, its each to their own preference.

shortylotus​(dom female) • Oct 2, 2020

Normally I am sassy with my responses, however I really feel bad for what happened to you.. i have had that happen before and it broke my heart.. just because you were not his cup of tea doesn't mean you won't be to someone else. Even if you read all your replies it still won't take the pain away..just remember your beautiful just the way you are and don't settle for anybody who doesn't make you feel that way

DrKrall • Oct 3, 2020

First of all I'm sorry this happened to you and for you feeling bad about it.

That said I see things a little bit different from the "norm" in this thread. We don't know enough to pass judgement on anyone. We don't know what his excuse was or whether it was the truth or if his problem really was OP's size. If he had a problem with her it could be anything from political views to bad breath. I'm not in favor of some of the advice given here. I personally think endless discussions, "chemistry dates" and stuff like that just make me loose interest in a person and I don't think I'm the only man who feels this way.

I've been doing this (BDSM) a long time. I haven't had a lot of relationships since most of those I have had lasted very long. So I may not be an expert on dating, but to me every single relationship, whether vanilla or kink, except for my very first began with sex and/or sessions on the first date. Those times I went on "chemistry dates" or "no sex/no BDSM" dates, nothing more came out of. Of course some of my dates that involved sex and or sessions didn't turn into relationships either. Sometimes this was my decision, sometimes hers and sometimes it was mutual. Sometimes it was fun but a one time thing. Sometimes I felt the other person wasn't what I expected. What I'm saying is I don't think OP did anything wrong in seeing this guy the way she did. But then again I don't see what was wrong whith him not wanting to pursue things. None of us are entitled to anything. This is a big thing and very often pointed out when a girl changes her mind about a guy, so why would it be different if a guy changes his mind about a girl? That is double standards.

I have been asked a couple of times if I would consider a "big girl". Most of the times by women without any pictures of them selves. I can't really answer if I would consider a "big girl" since I don't see women that way. If I look at a girl I either see something I like or I don't. Size isn't whats most important. If a "big girl" attract me, yes I could consider her. If she doesn't attract me, no. I might prefer a skinnier girl, a shorter girl, a girl with another color of her hair, a girl who smells another way, a girl who is younger, a girl who is older. It seem to me a lot of people are very hung up on size. Maybe a petite girl has an advantage over a "big girl" but men's tastes differ just as much as girls body types do.

To me this looks like the guy either changed his mind after meeting OP, or they were looking for different things. If everyone was open with their intentions and was as truthful as possible things like this might not happen. But they do, and unless stated beforehand that a date is on condition it leads to ownership, marriage or whatever we all have to be prepared to be let down some times.

Sorry for being blunt and using a lot of words.

TrilliumRising​(sub female){Owned} • Oct 6, 2020

I realize this is an older post, but wanted to comment. I'm sorry you experienced this. No one should ever make you feel bad about yourself- nobody needs that sort of toxic energy. I fully understand that everyone has their own personal preferences, but honesty and open communication are key (especially in this lifestyle). Preferred types are fine, body-shaming is trash, and body-positivity is life.

To me, confidence is the sexiest thing a person can have, no matter their age or size. Although my situation is a little different, because I'm more of a willowy build than curvy, I am really tall for a woman (just a smidge over 6'). I used to be incredibly self-conscious about my height (especially during my teen years), and have been teased, made fun of, and even bullied for it at different times in my life. I've learned however, that when there are things about yourself that you can't change, you need to own that sh*t and be comfortable in your own skin. Now, at 33, I'm able to realize that if a guy can't handle my height, he simply isn't for me, so I'm able to just let that go because I love being tall, and will rock the heck outta some heels, just for fun! I try to be upfront with my looks from the get-go and don't hold it against anyone personally if my particular body shape is not their thang. That being said, if anyone tries to body shame me these days, I gently suggest a long stroll off a short dock to cool their jets down because that's just not ok. Ever. To the right person, you will be a goddess, so don't sweat the haters.

Also, while sexual attraction is important to me, I'm more attracted to the person than the wrapping. While I am straight (although hetero-flexible might be more accurate because I've been with women sexually also), I love and admire women with curves! Possibly because I've always been on the more slender side of things, I think rubenesque and curvaceous bodies are gorgeous (incidentally the few women I have been with were all on the bustier/thicker end of the spectrum). I hope you have found someone to appreciate your figure, because ALL bodies are beautiful.

realfreakydad​(dom male){NO} • Oct 18, 2020

to me size does not matter to me if she is a large girl I don’t have a problem all it means to me is that she needs large punishment and I don’t have a problem with that!

PrevalingMaster​(dom male) • Nov 10, 2020

glad you kept this to me its the inner beauty - size does nor count .

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 11, 2020

Glad you dug this thread out of Necro land, it is still relevant. Yes you are right in a way, size shouldn't count but unfortunately, when it comes to sexuality and physical bullshit.. it does.. One has to be within the parameters of what a given man finds "attractive" in order for him to, *ahem* get a rise out of the situation. Same applies to a lot of women. They'll definitely go for a boink with the dude with rippling biceps and a fucking 6 pack over tubby-the-tuba with a beer belly that blocks his view of his own dick and "tits" bigger than, well, mine for example-- though that ain't saying much.

The human condition in that we're conditioned to be turned on to that perfect bod. Also a biologicals wiring thing, "programmed" to boff that perfect girl in order to improve the species.

2 cents deposited