Attraction and profile pictures

Mama Bear JJ​(dom female){koa} • Jun 20, 2020

While looks are an important thing, they shouldn't be "the" defining factor in whether or not you take the time to get to know someone or not. Age shouldn't be either. The feeling you get from initial communications from them or their overall profile should be.

Privacy is an issue, particularly when it comes to sharing sexually charged/ revealing photos or actively engaging in a lifestyle you wouldn't necessarily want your parents, kids, or co-workers knowing about in detail. It is understandable why many choose not to include photos of themselves on their profile for the world to see, particularly ones showing their face.

That said, there are situations where I won't reply to messages from a profile that is lacking a photo. That would be where the profile is also lacking any information at all that would help me to determine if it is someone I could potentially form a relationship/friendship with. I'm not going to waste my time on someone who didn't take the time and effort to convey who they are on their profile.

That's not just a good rule to have in general, but a good rule to have when it comes to not putting yourself in a situation where you'd get your hopes up, then get let down, over and over again. That just leads to frustration and bad feelings when it comes to yourself and the process of finding someone.

Side Note: To those who don't include photos, I offer this ... photos aren't just about showcasing your physical attributes. They can say a lot about you, whether your face is included in them or not. They can convey body language, things about your personality, and things that you enjoy in life. They can be a window into the type of person you are. Something in your photo could be "the" thing that someone connects with makes them want to reach out or return a message. Something to consider before making the decision not to include any at all.

Lucho​(dom male) • Aug 22, 2020

This makes sense. But from a Dom’s perspective, once you know someone well, the physical begins to fade in importance. And even though you say you find yourself unattractive, your Daddy Dom can help you see yourself through how he sees you.

KnottyBunny • Aug 22, 2020

Yes, need a photo. Dont have a photo, I dont bother.

DrKrall • Aug 22, 2020

The first time I went online to find someone I had a long thought about this.
I figured I'm not very good looking so if someone takes an interest in me and then see my face the rejection will be to painful.
So I had a picture of my face so those who find me to unattractive can stay away and those who get interested knows before they contact me.

Draiocht​(dom male) • Aug 23, 2020

(portions copied from one of my previous posts)

I am happy to provide face pics one on one. I know that there are a lot of fakes out there and women in particular have to be careful. If someone only has memes or web pictures as their profile you have every right to ask questions. As said before, many people have perfectly legitimate reasons for not posting pictures in order to protect public and professional reputations. This is a particularly sensitive area for me since someone that I had trusted outed me by revealing my real name to someone without asking me first.

Regarding age, I'm over 18. That is the only age that really matters. Personally, I want to know the person, not the number. Suppose they posted everyone's weight, or IQ, or annual income right next to your name? How would people feel about that? Not popular I would imagine.

Too many people, as well as vanilla dating sites, set arbitrary age limits. I think on POF you cannot search for anyone more than 12 years younger or older. I know plenty of happy couples with much larger discrepancies in age than that. Suppose someone sets a random limit of, say, 45. And they are chatting with someone and really hit it off and are a perfect match. Then you find out that they are 48. Poof, that's it? Sorry Charlie, you are perfect for me but you missed the cutoff. Really?

House Talion​(dom male) • Aug 23, 2020

Most would say physical attraction is a must and profiles without picts are a turn off.

Personaly I've found any women without picts that I've asked for picts have ghosted me after I've shown my lack of attraction. As if that's all they wanted.

theirlovedsub​(sub female) • Aug 23, 2020

I don't need a photo to start a process of getting to know someone, but I will need one eventually if we are going anywhere.

I'm someone who finds people more or less attractive after we've talked and I get to know them. People I mesh well with just perk up and draw me in.

I hate being asked if I like someone's photo. If I like their looks or not. It just feels really weird to be asked. So, usually a photo in a profile can take away that awkward (for me) moment.

DjDom • Aug 23, 2020

I tend to agree that a well thought out profile or initial conversation can be just as attractive. Words are powerful. That said, o tend to be bold and show my face. After all, we all know why we’re here and I you’re looking, you probably already know. The LS can be personal and private, but by and large, shouldn’t be something to hide.

The Spazzy Bookworm​(switch gender fluid) • Aug 23, 2020

What really makes a person attractive to me is their personality. That doesn't mean that I don't have preferences and that my eyes aren't drawn more to some people than others. For my partners I find it's important that they are healthy though, because that's something that's important in my life and I would like to be around someone who also finds a healthy life style important (mind you I do love food which makes it all the harder). I've also found that the way someone smells REALLY makes an impact on my attraction to them. If someone doesn't have good personal hygiene then it's a very quick no. I think online is really hard to really know someone because there's a lot that you miss when you don't have that in person social interaction.

NoClvrNickname​(sub female) • Aug 23, 2020

My Sir & I met online. Neither of us had photos on our profiles that showed our faces due to wanting to be discrete and not wanting any possible repercussions as far as jobs etc if the wrong person were to find them. After we started messaging each other, we exchanged face pics & then actually met up.