Discouraged

V V V​(sub female) • Nov 24, 2020

I don’t really consider this a dating site either but was speaking generally. And I have read some of the dating stories/horrors on this site.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Nov 25, 2020

Bunnie
3 hours ago • 11/24/2020 3:54 pm
"I still forget that people consider this to be a dating site."

When fetlife was created, the owner, John Baku made a point of making it a networking site as opposed to a dating site. People still go there expecting an avalanche of willing partners and no matter how often you say to them, "This is a good site to find local people and events so you can be active with the real time population" they still repeat failed efforts and then get mad.

If this plague ever lifts I hope people will get back to just interacting with others and then worry about dating. Many think social is an orgy. Social is talking and learning and developing friendships, which they don't want. They just want they easy if unrealistic path.

Schatzi​(switch female){Yes} • Nov 25, 2020

That is the most truth I've read today. Thank you.

Schatzi​(switch female){Yes} • Nov 25, 2020

I will throw my two cents worth in and say...anything is possible anywhere.

I am almost 20 years married to my Sir/Husband and we met (lord I feel old saying it) in an aol chatroom 22+ years ago. We became best friends and we talked on the phone, in private messages and emails for ages. Because of his job in the military, back then they could not send photos out and such. So I did not even know what he looked like until after I had accepted his marriage proposal, tried to talk him out of it because of age difference (I am 11 years senior) and I flew across country and still had no clue what the love of my life looked like! Best decision I ever made. We were not in the lifestyle initially, it was just who we are and we grew into it together.

So I believe when its time for you to find the one, they will cross your path. Just enjoy life, be yourself and it will happen. Look inside the book first because the pretty covers on the shelves can contain some major bullshit. Sorry for the harshness but its true.

But have fun here in The Cage, there are some really good people here.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Nov 25, 2020

White Knight​(dom male)
3 months ago • 07/28/2020 2:56 am
"I have been on many of them over the years kink and vanilla
The idea of truth and honesty is a rare commodity with most of them !"
........................

Right. Because for many this is a masquerade party and they are in love with being who or whatever they want and hiding their real selves behind a mask. But see, that is because that is who they are... dishonest.

While going through a contentious divorce I realized that at some point in time you have to choose who you want to be. If you are always looking for the loopholes in honesty and integrity, you will easily find them.

Dishonest people lie. Just that simple.

And if they say all the right serious things but aren't taking you seriously, well that is a lie too.

From early on the biggest compliment I received was that I am the same person online, on the phone and in person.. Odd huh?

My belief is that people who act a certain way must first have the thought in their heads and thus have embraced it. Then they must be open to the opportunity of acting on it.

So lying, cheating, stealing... never just happen. They happen because you are poised for them to happen. The same is true here. If you value honesty then you are compelled to be honest.

However, as someone said on a different thread everyone lies at some point. At work I never say that the boss is in the bathroom with diarrhea I say he is on the other phone line.

When one of my 700 customers call I never say who the hell are you? I say, Ok now, I suffer from old lady brain, refresh my memory about our last conversation.

So discretion and appropriateness play into it especially in business.

Lying to hurt, use, deceive for personal gain is different from not telling random strangers personal business when they call the office.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Nov 25, 2020

Schatzi​(switch female){Yes}

"I am almost 20 years married to my Sir/Husband and we met (lord I feel old saying it) in an aol chatroom 22+ years ago. "

LOL we were probably in the same rooms. Maybe even together. I was ladyb1ue back then.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Nov 25, 2020

DrKrall
"I've met real, genuine and wonderful people online. "
...
Agreed. I met many good people online and then met real time. Because of that I am proud to say that some are friends now for over 20 years.

I did meet my former Sir online. But we started talking because we were both home recovering from medical issues and I never planned for it to go further but of course it did. We had 6 years before he passed.

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 25, 2020

(quote truncated to save a virtual tree)


Love it! I was in high school when AOL was a thing. That had a better chance of success than what is out there today because such things were new and interesting and people wanted to get in and see what was out there. (Through their mighty, blazing 56k modems, the latest and greatest thing since fake eggs)

So all I wanted to reiterate is that while pukes are everywhere, online and IRL, you stand a higher chance of meeting a calloused turd online who promotes him/herself as a plate of exquisitely fancy and expensive fudge.. because they can.

Re: Discouraged

Defender​(dom male) • Nov 25, 2020

Read all the horror stories about violent crime, and you'll never leave your house.

Read all the horror stories about road accidents, and you'll never drive your car again.

Read all the horror stories about domestic abuse, and you'll never enter a relationship.

Read all the horror stories about bad Doms and bad subs, and (you know the rest).


So life involves risk.

Go into it with your eyes open and your brain engaged.

You need to acquire experience if you wish to acquire wisdom.