Is it still a form of masochism?

Re: Is it still a form of masochism?

BadanimalMaster​(dom male) • Feb 22, 2021

Bunnie, I can tell you that one of my former subs got very mouthy and needed to be punished for her poor attitude. I did punish her, publicly actually at a bdsm party because her "sass" was public. I paddled her. She cried and protested and sobbed during her punishment. It hurt: a LOT!. I made sure of it. But later while we were at that same party, she glowed thereafter and was in a fantastic mood. She watched the video of her own punishment no less than 100 times for the next few weeks...smiling every time she watched it.

Her attitude towards me got very very submissive and she admitted she needed that. In fact she spoke with me about making sure that if she got mouthy again, I would do something similar. She beamed and glowed with the knowledge that I had straightened her out. By the way, she hated or at least claimed to hate anything more than light pain. She was certainly NOT a pain slut.

I have my own thoughts on that. I'm wondering what you think of that?

ellefire​(sub female) • Feb 22, 2021

IMHO the paddling was proof that you cared about her behavior because she mattered. And the public nature of it was a claiming of sorts, showing others that, without a doubt, she was yours.

My 2 cents!

BadanimalMaster​(dom male) • Feb 22, 2021

ElleFire, the reason I made it public is because the punishment should fit the transgression. She back talked in public...and she needed to know that if her transgressions were in public for all to see...then in some form so would be the punishment. A bdsm party is about as safe as public gets when paddling someone. I'm not crazy lol.

Also, I did very much care for her. So you're right.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Feb 22, 2021

BadAnimalMasterforf​(dom male)

"Bunnie, I can tell you that one of my former subs got very mouthy and needed to be punished for her poor attitude. I did punish her, publicly actually at a bdsm party because her "sass" was public. I paddled her. She cried and protested and sobbed during her punishment. It hurt: a LOT!. I made sure of it." (Sounds like she put on quite the show.)

"But later while we were at that same party, she glowed thereafter and was in a fantastic mood. She watched the video of her own punishment no less than 100 times for the next few weeks...smiling every time she watched it." (Right. So she wasn't at all upset that she was sooooo disrespectful to you that you felt the need to beat her? Interesting.)

"Her attitude towards me got very very submissive and she admitted she needed that. In fact she spoke with me about making sure that if she got mouthy again, I would do something similar." (So she was topping from the bottom then?)

"She beamed and glowed with the knowledge that I had straightened her out. " (Or got to show you off the audience. Is she an exhibitionist by any chance? I suspect so.)

" She was certainly NOT a pain slut. I have my own thoughts on that. I'm wondering what you think of that? "

(I know you were asking Bunnie, but what the hell... I think she wasn't getting enough of your Dom side so she pushed buttons (topping/controlling) until she got it. Sure she hated it at the moment, but not enough to talk to you about what drove her to her terrible behavior in the first place? Or ask you to help her learn respect without the show and the people? She made sure to tell you she wanted that again if she acted out (thus guaranteeing she would) but did she apologize? Did she show remorse? Like long lasting remorse? Or did she just say all the right things? I would have felt so badly just watching the video again would have killed and shamed me. And why was there a video? Way too many holes in this.)

(Bad sorry but I think you were played.)

BadanimalMaster​(dom male) • Feb 22, 2021

SubtleHush, very poor assessment to assume that I was "played" because you lack the context of all the other things that were going on in our relationship.

Bunnie • Feb 22, 2021

@ BadAnimalMasterforf,

Hi Depp I think perhaps on a surface level (the initial glow) she realised she enjoyed the rush from enduring pain (or her fears), more than she expected. From there, two possibilities taking it further could be, the budding discoveries of a masochist, or the feeling of a deeper connection and understanding having been established between you both on a body level, rather than a words level.

BadanimalMaster​(dom male) • Feb 22, 2021

See you in chat bun.

exit protocol

Arach • Feb 22, 2021

Hi, Bunnie,

Because I want to create a relationship structure emphasizing the equal VALUE of all participants, if entering into a moment of humiliation, anger or subjugation play for affirmation or our enjoyment, I believe it is best to have a protocol or distinct moment when you both acknowledge you are entering into that form of play where the submissive is treated in a way that is not usual for the relationship. It is equally necessary to have a protocol for the moment when you EXIT that form of play or treatment possibly including an emphasis on, "You know that is not how I think of you. Yes? You know that my anger was not real. Yes? You know that you are valued and cherished by me. Yes?" requiring a response.

By the way, Bunnie. I attempted to send that to you, but your profile does not allow messages unless you purposely allow. If you have any questions, please let me know.

latexbondagebunny​(other male) • Feb 22, 2021

*** What if *any* form of punishment is appealing, because it’s the concept of being *punished in and of itself* that is attractive?***

Taking this statement on it's own merit, I would say that a person described by this may have an issue with needing attention. Sounds like they may crave the attention, whether good or bad.

Only punishment that works on them is to put them in time out and ignore them for a pre arranged length of time.

Just my 2 cents,
Latty

Bunnie • Feb 22, 2021

@ Arach,

I’m a bit of a hermit here, so I appreciate you sharing it for me to still see.
Thank you for explaining further. That makes perfect sense, and from personal experience, find an “exit protocol” to be very important, especially for things like humiliation/degradation play.