Turn offs in new conversations

1. Since I'm looking for local residents, an immediate offer to move to my city.

"Um, you don't _know_ me and you're offering to move halfway across the continent / world based off of what you skimmed my profile? You are either delusional or a scammer."


2. Curt messages.

I understand that some people play this as a numbers game and can't be bothered to compose a message or read a profile. But looking at my profile - not even skimming it, just looking at the amount of content - it's pretty obvious that's not a game I play.

I follow a rule I've learned: never write more than the person who contacted me. EVAR.

Also, I have a default copy-pasta phrase for when I'm done talking to them.


3. Insults.

After running into one of these mofos who admitted to it, I now ask people who try negging / insulting me if they're one of those people who get off on being cussed out by dominants. "If you are, no thanks. I'm not kink-shamming, it's just not my scene."

They usually act SO SHOCKED by the very suggestion that, while reading their reply, I imagine them sputtering.


4. Announce that they're horny / playing with themselves.

"Well. Good luck with that. Bye."

Gee CSI,
Dom's actually bring up a news topics to you?
That would be a welcome change...
🤣

Am I the only one that is a little judgy in their choice of nicknames? I’m pretty okay with whatever, except when it includes thinks like slaveowner1273838. And due to something a dom told me once, I don’t really like it when they are Master something. 😅 It just feel like they are flexing. And most guys that have that in their nicknames don’t always have the experience to back it up. As I say, more like a flex move.

Being overly familiar or sexual right off the hop. Saying degrading things about submissive women "knowing their place" etc... before respect and trust have been established (it comes off as misogyny - not consensual D/s)

Turning everything back to sex. I say I feel sick and need a hug or snuggle in that moment, they say they'd love to snuggle, and then add some innuendo. I mention I have a giant knot in my neck from stress, they say they're great at massages and then add some innuendo. Sex is soo important to a relationship, but being able to be intimate and live without being constantly sexualized is also important. If I feel like I'm being viewed as just a cock sleeve I will move on very quickly.

I am sorry that has been your experience. Felling valued, respected, and cherished goes a long way in enabling a more complete surrender. When there is a mental and emotional connection, the body naturally follows the mind.

Thanks, I find it a fairly typical experience of dating in general. It's why I've been essentially single for over 6 years 🙃 I'd rather be alone that invest time and energy into somebody who will only complicate my life.

There is a simplicity beyond the complexity, too.